I swear, weve broken up and gone back out like a hundred times. I really love him but i think i want to break up with him again. He's done things to me that i cant forgive. but im afraid that we will just get back together again. hes so pushy!! all this drama is really hard on me and my 14 year old daughter. any tips i can use to stop all this???? how can i end it all!!!
2006-11-23 16:59:43 · 15 answers · asked by justine w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why put your daughter through YOUR insanity? That really is emotional abuse towards her. So if you can't walk away from this guy for yourself, do it for your daughter. Think about what you're role modeling for her. You really want to teach your daughter that this is how a woman acts in a relationship? If she were doing this, what advice would you give her? Now try applying that common sense to your own situation and STOP THE INSANITY!
2006-11-23 18:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by 2sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2006-11-24 03:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women who are being abused return to their abusers an average of 7 times before finally ending it or being murdered by them.
And yes, you are being abused, emotionally for sure (and maybe verbally and physically?) You are teaching your daughter that it is normal and healthy to keep getting back together with someone who doesn't love you. She is growing up with an unhealthy idea of what adult relationships are like.
Join a support group through a church or community center - even call a women's shelter for contact info. Find out if there's counseling available to you.
Most importantly, break up with him, tell him it's for good, you will NOT change your mind, then cut off all contact with him. Don't answer his calls, don't email him. If he persists, consider getting a restraining order. He is clearly a controlling person, so be careful.
2006-11-24 01:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Children are so easily influenced so I hope your daughter does not adopt your life style. You have to stand firm and make up your mind to leave him for good.
Children are also God's gift to us, so it is very important for us to appreciate this gift by guiding them in the right direction by the positive things we do and say.
Fighting with a boyfriend and letting him take advantage of you is not good for
a 14yrs old girl to know about.
Love your child, and get yourself into an environment which is conducive to her well being.
2006-11-24 01:13:38 · answer #4 · answered by Seeanna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing you need to do is think about it...Does he love you or is he a player cuz thats how it sounds. heres another thing to consider...What effect is this having on your daughter? Is she upset about it? i was in a relationship like this once...i also had a lot of arguments with the people around me, all because of my bad relationship. it triggered depression but i got help and now i'm in a very good relationship with someone who can love and support me and my lifestyle. if its not working, i'm sorry, but its not working. ------if it does in the end GREAT!! but if not find someone else. you'll get through it, be tough. hope this helps you even a little
2006-11-24 01:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by am 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can end the cycle of madness. Use the "no contact" rule.
Don't take his calls. Don't read his letters. Delete his emails before reading them. Don't read his text messages. Don't accept his gifts. Don't open your front door if he's ringing your doorbell.
This doesn't make you rude - it makes you sane. It will work after while, trust me. Its hard but it can be done. Imagine your life free of the drama.
Or, do you really want to be free of it?
2006-11-24 01:22:43 · answer #6 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went thru this also. loved the guy but he hurt me badly and as much as i wanted to forget i just couldn't trust him again. well i wasted 7 precious years of my life on the guy. after we split he watched every thing i did and would torment me if i went out on a date etc. i finally realized that wanting to break away was my heart telling me to smarten up and lose the loser. today i am very happy and so glad i didn't waste one more day with him.
2006-11-24 01:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by cindy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out! you are a mother above all and this is hurting your daughter. not to mention there is no way this is ever going to change get out and don't leave a trail for him to find and don't talk to him if you do run into each other get on with your life.
2006-11-24 01:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you keep breaking up- doesnt that scream out that you cant live together- you are wasting your time. Just put a stop to it - tell him you dont want to keep going through this crap! you need to get on with your life.
2006-11-25 19:33:06 · answer #9 · answered by Little Minx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How doya love someone who makes your life miserable?
Come to your senses, make a decision, and take care of yourself and your daughter. Be a stronger person, so that she has a strong role model!
2006-11-24 01:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋