I'm 14yrs old and I live my grandmother because my mom gave me up to go live with her at age 6months.This summer she made me go live with her.It was the worst summer of my life.she was never at home and she made me babysit.Than when I got sick she still made me watch my little brothers.The puppy died and I hade to burry it.She told me I had to go live with her...I dont want to at all.I dont understand why she does this to me. Is it wrong for me not to love my mom?
2006-11-23 13:49:24 · 17 answers · asked by brooke g 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Whether or not you love your mom is your choice and it's easy to see why it is so hard for you to love her at this point in your life. It sounds to me like you need more time to get to know your mom before you decide if you want to live with her or not. I can totally see where you're coming from since you lived with your grandmother for so long. If your mom is just going to make you babysit, then she doesn't want to be a mom to you at all. Tell her you're not ready to live with her, but you're willing to get to know her better. That way, you can still live with your grandmother, and still give your mom the time of day. And if things don't work out between you two, then she lost her chance and you won't have to live with her. I really hope this works out and I am so sorry about your puppy.
2006-11-23 13:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by obsdabeff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, my heart breaks for you and I will remember you in my prayers! Tell your grandmother how you feel, if she will not listen, talk to your school counselor and they will help you decide what is the best course of action.
I know from experience, that being 14 and not knowing what to do about your living arrangements can be difficult. Your mother had no right to abandon you as a baby then claim you back after 14 years. It is not fair any way you look at it!!!!
Are there any other relatives you can talk to? I went to live with my uncle and aunt when I was your age after talking to a social worker. There are people out there that can help you, but you must let others know what is going on. I wish you all the luck in the world and I pray that all turns out well.
2006-11-26 02:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so glad you have your grandmother, because it seems like your mum hasn't been a mum at all.
It is totally understandable that you don't love your mum - why would you? She'll may be the woman you who gave birth to you - but she hasn't raised you, loved or provided for you in any way as a mother should.
To cover yourself, write down everything down (date, time and context) that your mum makes you do that makes you feel uncomfortable/unsafe so that if it comes to a court decision you are giving yourself the best chance. Maybe try and find a local group that helps teenagers, either a social group or support group - look after yourself first. Don't think that you are wrong for not loving your mother, you have a lot of love to give to the right people!
I hope you and your grandmother have a loving relationship, all the best - you're a wonderful person, remember that!
2006-11-23 13:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by S M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey your post made me so sad. First of all at your age she can't legally force you to live with her. You are old enough to choose which care taker you want to live with. Talk to your grandmother and see about getting an attorney.
Your mother sounds like she has some emotional or mental problems. Some women are not cut out to be mothers and therefore are not very good at it. Work on trying to forgive her but that doesn't mean you have to be her door mat. She may want you there simply as a free baby sitter for her other kids.
How you feel is not wrong. You got gipped in the mom department and it is ok to be angry, sad and frustrated about that. Even to the point of not loving your mother.
*HUGS*
2006-11-23 13:56:08 · answer #4 · answered by The OTHER Boelyn Chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been separated from your mom for too long .The maternal bond is just not there.However for the time being you probably wont have a choice.Not having any affection for your mom is nothing to be ashamed of in your case.It is not your fault. In time you may develop some affection towards her .she most likely had a solid reason to give you up back then. It was probably better for you. In a few short years you will be able to live on your own any way so just sit tight for now and get an education.
2006-11-23 14:00:31 · answer #5 · answered by Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is rare ,but in your case your feelings sound justified ,cant you go and live with your granny again?
,in 2 more years or so you can take your own descisions ,
you are young and have a big life ahead ,it may seem forever now ,but 2 years is nothing
be a little patient for a little while longer ,then things can only change for the better
just make sure that you keep up your studies ,so that you can be independent as soon as possible
Usually kids like you grow up to be very strong ,and sometimes wise
good luck and strength
2006-11-23 13:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong to not love someone who may in fact be your birth mother but has not been actively involved in your life in anyway except now and only to use you as a babysitter. Tell Grandmother that this is intolerable and unacceptable for you. Your Grandmother is your Mother.
2006-11-23 13:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't wrong at all. I suggest you talk to your local Department of Human Resources about the situation. You are being abused and neglected. You might want to consult with a lawyer as well. You can indeed sue your mother.
2006-11-23 13:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever happens she remains to be your mother, and you have to live with her. You have to understand her situation also that why she never stays at home, was it because she's working? As the eldest it's just natural to look over your little brother. Are your parents divorce or separated? Helpin your mother in a way that you can do is a great thing and she appreciates it, trust me. Show her that you care.....open your heart.
2006-11-23 14:09:16 · answer #9 · answered by josie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! This sounds so much like what happaned to me, except for my mom gave me up when i was about 10...then...not too long ago she wanted me to come back "home" and you kno i kind of looked forward to finally having my family back and growing up like a "normal" kid i guess...but then after i saw how terrible my life with her was and would be...i wanted to come back to my grandmas...i eventualli got my wish and then i felt like i didn't love my mom...and i possibly even hated her...but now...i see that i never hated her and i never will...i can get madd at her all i want and she can make all the mistakes she needs, but all-in-all i cud never hate her...i cud actualli thank her! she just wasn't readi to raise me and she still isn't readi to raise my brother and sister and as selfish as she seemed to give me up, i think she was actualli looking out for me...she knew she couldn't give me the life i needed so she gave me to someone who could...is it wrong to "not love ur mother"? should you? yes u should, but maybe u realli do love her...ur just trying to get over the pain...regardless of what you mite think...she does love you...and i think u love her too! i'll be praying for you and good luck! :]]
2006-11-23 16:18:47 · answer #10 · answered by beachxchicaxmg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋