How do I attain confidence ?

Question

I have a huge problem when it comes to public speaking. I always stutter, start sweating and shake involuntarily.
I also have problems starting normal conversations, especially with woman which i tend to shy away from.

How do start getting some confidence and stop being so abject to life ?

Answer 1

The cure to all fear is to face it head on. Keep speaking in public even if you stutter, sweat, and shake. Eventually you will get used to it and not be so nervous. As long as you realize it is normal to feel nervous about things you aren't used to doing you should be fine. It is like goin in a hot bath. When you first step in it might be really hot, but then you get used to it and hardly notice.

That goes the same for talking with women. Just talk to them like a person. Don't feel the urge to say anything amazingly witty or sweep them off their feet. Coz then you'll just be standing there saying nothing and thinking of what to say. Just talk about normal sh!t like tv, current events, or funny things you saw during the day.... kind of like how you talk with your male friends. It's not that hard dude.

Answer 2

After I was older, and very confident, I realized that when I was younger, nervous, and not confident that there was a reason: Competence. When I was in college I earned all A's and knew what I was talking about--I was competent and wanted to be up there talking because I knew my material and knew it was good material, I worked hard and had gained control.

In high school I did not know my material beyond average level most of the time and I blamed it on my nerves and lack of confidence yet I now know that the nerves and lack of confidence came as a result of my lack of competence, I did not prep hard enough but reacted during the situations where I felt a lack of control over the outcome.

Answer 3

Confidence can only be attained by you, personally. You must first respect and be confident in yourself. Talk with other people about subjects you are familiar with and listen to people about subjects you are unfamiliar. Listen and learn, speak distinctly and to the point. Do not embellish or add anything about your subject unless you can provide a source. You are no different than any other except for your own personality which you need to be confident with.

Answer 4

In terms of public speaking - it is usually a huge problem for everyone, cause we all care how people see us. The only way to solve this problem, is to remember what you want to say everytime, the more you practice, the better it will get. it works for me.........

To opposit sex, take it as talking to a guy. cause you are not chasing every female you speak to, why worry about it??? right??

Answer 5

Read "Acting Techniques for Everyday Life" by Jane Marla Robbins. It gives good advice on looking and feeling confident in difficult situations.

Answer 6

Develop controlled environments- if your heart is called to speak you should try >You don't need confidence to do it.It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.Attribute the Little what you know to not having been ashed to ask for information and rule of conversing with all descriptions of topics which take away your shy.Take action just do it- fool wonders;the wise asks.

Answer 7

I had the same problem until I was in my late 20's. Somehow being a mother gave me confidence. (I know this won't help you) I'm not really sure how you gain confidence but you can fake it until you do. Noone will know that your lacking confidence unless you show them. So fake it an fake it well. Good luck

Answer 8

I used to be afraid of public speaking. What helped me is I know my topic and rehearsing. As for convo with the opposite sex I get to know them and I be who I am.

Answer 9

We have the same problem. I still have that problem at times. I think you should mingle with people a lot. Be optimistic.

Answer 10

Relax your shoulders while speaking it helps me.