My situation is I'm out with everyone except my family which is my sister, brother and mum. I'm not close to any of them. My sister will be surprised and might find it a bit strange but isn't gonna be too bothered about it. She might not really take me seriously though. My brother will just want me to shutup about my sex life and won't really give a sh*t. My mum is really religious and of the "gays are child molesting perverts" leaning but will eventually get over it based on history.
I'm 19, live at home, can't afford to leave for a while at least, single. It's not urgent to do it now but I'd rather get it over with.
I have no idea of the best way to do it, except that telling my sister first will mean I'll have someone backing me up against my mum.
Is it better to wait till I'm seeing someone, till I've left home, when they're in a good mood, or a bad mood and already pissed off? Should I hint about it first?
2006-11-23 12:26:00 · 7 answers · asked by creamy69 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Is there any way of reducing the wierdness of basically telling my mum what I like in bed?
2006-11-23 12:27:43 · update #1
Repent? Stop trying to convert me to your false god and find another category to post in
2006-11-23 13:13:52 · update #2
It's kind of tough as long as you live at home. Moreover you don't feel close to your family members.
I waited until I lived independently. Our whole family is close, although my dad is very oldfashioned and traditional, so telling him made me very nervous. Still he took it amazingly well and I'm really happy that I told everybody now. Looking back, I still don't regret that I waited until I moved out. I think it helped in the way that my parents already saw me more as an independent individual. I know, it is tough if you can't talk about this with your own family, but it is the safe way.
I started with my youngest brother and his girlfriend, because we were always pretty close. From what you say it seems definitely a good idea to start with your sis.
2006-11-24 01:47:07 · answer #1 · answered by meiguanxi :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your stuck in a bit of a situation... Its good that you want to be fully open with your family.. Do you think they would have an idea already? I would tell your sister first and see what she thinks, because she can help you with your Mum... Your brother just sounds like a typical brother lol. But seeing that your mum has strong negative views on Gays i wouldn't tell her just yet, You can hint all you want and let her run with the idea and see what happens, but i wouldn't want to see you get kicked out or anything like that : ) You don't need a Girl friend to come out, in fact i think that's worse if you leave it till then, cause your open for the "oh you dont know yet its just a phase" lol.. But seeing that your in no real urgency just tell your sister, your brother wont really care, but just hint at your Mum for a while and when shes starting to accept/think about the idea come out to her. The best of Luck Sweetie : )
2006-11-23 21:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by Shes a Cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, you know your family best, and are in the best place to anticipate and gauge their reactions. Although there is no one "best" way to come out, I've included a few links to some websites that might give you some stuff to think about before you proceed. I hope they prove helpful, and I wish you the best of luck!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A668036
http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/O/out/
http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/comingout/l/blcomingout.htm
2006-11-23 21:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how hard it can be for you. I've known since I was 15 that I was a lesbian, but I tried to deny my feelings because I knew that my family would not be supportive of my sexuality. I started coming out to my friends about 3 years ago. To my surprise they were all VERY supportive of me, because they loved me for who I am.
I am now 22. I just came out to my family about a year ago. My mom was very unhappy. She said lots of mean, nasty things to me, but most of them were out of hurt and rage.
Since you are still living at home, make sure that you will not be kicked out of your house before you come out. If you think you will, it's probably best to wait until you aren't living at home. Get plenty of resources for your family. Check out the websites below, they can give you plenty of tips on coming out. Also, go to your local library and check on there selection of Gay/Lesbian books that may help your family come to terms with your sexuality. Also, be sure to give them plenty of time. They probably aren't going to be ok with this right away. Just like you needed time to come to terms with this, so will they.
And, if your family rejects you because of your sexuality, understand that it's not anything that you have control over.
2006-11-23 21:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by riot grrrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until you were at least out of the house, then i would start by telling your sister then your brother then your mom, and if your mom doesn't take it too well i would just tell her to shut up and go away.
2006-11-23 20:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by adamizer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I woudl wait till you are out of her house to come out.
2006-11-23 21:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not gay ...it is just sinning that you partake in/ repent now sinner
2006-11-23 20:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 11⤋