Im on antidepressants & feel my life is wasting away, struggling with work & feeling unable to be with anyone?

Question

Im 20 and at university on a course which requires me to interact with people. I find it very hard to talk to anyone, so i try to avoid people, which in turn is bringing me down even more. I love my family and see them often, but am mostly unable to communicate/ talk with them either. Help
Thankyou

Answer 1

By taking anti-depressant you are treating the symptoms of your problem but the core of your problem is still there that is unable to communicate/ talk to others. It may be useful to seek counselling via your GP or university. This will not be an easy process but it would be easier opening up to someone neutral to start off with. Then you can gradually transfer this skills unto others. Set yourself small goals like speaking to one new person every other day. The more you do it the easier it will become. Write down your feelings and taughts. Ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are. What are you afraid of. Learn to feel the fear and do it anyway. Read self-help books on learning to connect. Do not be a victim! You have a big future ahead of you. You do not want to be dependent on anti-depressant for the rest of your life. You need to break the cycle now no one can do this for you but you.

Answer 2

No two experiences of depression are exactly the same so I can't know exactly how you feel : I know the general territory all too well though.

How long have you been on the anti-depressants ? If you've very recently started taking them it might be that they just aren't having their full effect yet. They work by accumulating in your system and that can take a few weeks.

If you've been on them longer it might be that the dosage or medication is wrong for you and, as the others have said, best go back to the quack who will try something else. Counselling might be recommended also. How do you feel about that ?

From what you say you're in a cycle of inertia right now. Could give you any amount of well intentioned advice as to what you might try and do but it could just be that you haven't the energy for any of it at the moment. Maybe it's a time for baby steps rather than grand gestures to break the cycle.

Eat a little bit of chocolate every hour on the hour - not a whole bar, just one chunk or one choccy biscuit. It'll give you a little energy pulse that might help.

Exercise a little if you can. Doesn't have to be anything grand, just something to get the blood flowing. Even dancing around the room to some dumb pop song works - what does it matter if it feels a bit daft, who's gonna see you ?

Is it difficult to communicate because you don't know what to say ? If it is write a few notes to self about things that you can talk about, that you are interested in, that you do know a bit about. No, you can't script a whole conversation but you can forearm yourself a little. Most folk script their conversations without realising they're doing it anyway - heard that story before etc.

There's definitely a limit to so-called 'good advices' so I'll stop there. One thing though. People will tell you that there's no way your life's wasting away at the age of 20 and, chances are, you won't believe 'em. Even so, it's true and that I can promise from personal experience.

Take the best care of yourself you can.

Answer 3

hmm, any advice I give give you will probably make you feel even more depressed because you are already depressed so why should I bother? Its hard man, if people are nice to you it won't make you feel better as you feel they are trying to do u a favour or are pitying u, if people are being cruel (to be kind, although some r just cruel) you feel uyou are the victim.

I've been there at university depressed as hell and was depressed b4 going there, apparently many people get depressed there although i didn't see very many. My advice would be to go crazy for a couple of days and i mean PROPER crazy oe maybe for a week but looking after yourself at the same time of course. Just go ballistic. Oh and stop taking antidepressants right now they are not good for you. Just concentrate on your depression ie feel it for a bit , then take the advive i gave u above.

ADD: when i said go crazy i meant have a fun time, but again take care of oneself.

Answer 4

I have had that problem also. I've had it for years! I'm on anti depressants too! The first thing you need to do is look up the medicine you are taking and make sure they are not the problem. If you are taking more than one medication make sure their not counteracting with each other. Then you need to figure out which family members you are not comfortable with and which ones you are. If there are family gatherings that are have the ones you are not comfortable with avoid them. Even if it is Thanksgiving, Christmas, New years, or summer family roasts. I know this sounds cruel, rude, and hard but trust me in the long run you will be stress free after wards. The ones you are comfortable with you can get together with the next day or set on another day. Those family members will figure out what your problem is pay attention to why you are uncomfortable and start setting up a day with you, before the big family gathering. Trust me! It took me awhile to figure this out, but when I did this is exactly what the ones I'm comfortable with did for me. Now, I am able to get out in the world and know not everyone see me the same as the idiots that I'm not comfortable with.

Answer 5

Dear William A,

To have depression is most probably the most lonely time in ones life. Nobody really understands what you are going through but everybody has some great advice that, most of the time, just makes you feel more crap anyway. Its great that you are on medication for that shows that you are trying to get better. You still have something in you. The medication is just a tool though. It helps pick up you serotonin levels and gives your brain a break, but it is not the only solution to depression. You have to get a counsellor skilled in this to guide and help you through this rough time. No man is an Island and we weren't put on earth to carry our burdens alone. Don't give up! There is hope and things will get better. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

In addition to the meds, you need someone you can talk to. Ask student services at your university, or student health dept. There are no shortcuts. All this did not come on you overnight, and It will take time to work through these feelings.

Maybe there is a support group that could work with you. Join Toastmasters International. They've helped many people in your situation. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I have a solution that you will find very unusual.

"Find and read the English version of the Holy Qur'an, from the begining (Chapter-1: "The Opening" a.k.a. "Fatiha") all the way to the end (Chapter-114: "Mankind" a.k.a. "Nas")".

It will take a few days -take breaks in between- and since are already used to being alone (like myself, though my case is far, far, miler than yours), you should be able to complete the reading.

I've tried it a couple of times and words can't even describe how it does miracles on the mind (mine inclusive). It's the ultimate medicine/therapy for depression. I still don't know how it does what it does but it is undoubtedly a "miraculous" miracle...the poetic way it is setup (if the reader speaks), the way in which its Message soothes the soul....incredible stuff.

I wish you all the success that you really really deserve in life.

Answer 8

I knew a young fellow who was once getting counselling for over three years. I finally asked him if he did not feel it was a good time for a re-evaluation of his health program. It would appear to me you might benefit from such a re-evaluation, but if that does not appeal to you, for whatever reason, mention some of what you just told us to your regular doctor. Perhaps he can guide you in a way that will make your life a little easier to bear and a lot more pleasant. I can talk with you with absolutely no problem at all. And I do not believe what I am telling you is making you uncomfortable at all. So this type of communication is okay.

Answer 9

First get to the bottom of how this depression started.
1 Did something happen in your life that hurt or upset you, if so your depression could be a reaction to that.(Reactional depression) medication and someone to talk to about the problem.2 If nothing has happened you could have endogenous depression (Which comes from no-where) And you must seek your doctors help, you will definitely need medication and professional help. Don't be frightened to seek help either way, once you do, you will be half way there. (Fellow sufferer.)
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Answer 10

You sound as if you're going through a time in your life where yourself and others are making huge demands. I agree that you should speak to your GP about whether the antidepressants that you're on are the right ones for you. Also, I wonder if you're allowing yourself time for YOU? Sometimes we all need time by ourselves to unwind. You love your family and other people, but you also need to just enjoy your own company, doing what you want to do without being made to feel guilty by the demands of others. If they love you, they'll have to accept that you need time for yourself and that your time to be with others can only be governed by how you feel.