I spend a year wiv pathologically jealous guy.I loved him very much,and still do,even thou,our relationship was very hurtful.he was nice for 6 monhts,after he started to be abusive,pushed me,broke many of my things,and was getting worse.he didnt have very good childhood,his mum took care of him and loved him very much,but there where other things what influenced him.in the end of our relationship he also beat me twice,after i left,and it has been 6months.i would love to be with him,because he is nice guy,even thou he has problem.he said he"l be different this time,because i left for such a long time and it made him see he cant treat me as he used to.I feel very hurt.it has been long time we are separ8,but my love isnt any weaker.l miss him so much.i never felt so scared and so lonely in my life,even tho i went thru breaking up wiv guy a was 6 years wiv.it was hard,but this is hard,as i love him so much.i would love to come back to him,but i keep away,cuz i feel that is right.
2006-11-23 12:09:18 · 23 answers · asked by Eli 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
it is right according to society,to leave relationship like this.but i love him,and i would like to help him,cuz he never was happy.but im confused and hurt so much.i was his first proper girlfriend,he told me,his girl is everything for him,his all life and the most important in his life.he said he would like to have family,even tho he is just 21,im 23,but why didnt he behive according to it?i tried so hard to make him happy,gave evrf up,job and friends,i tried so much,why was i treated so bad?i just wanted us to be happy?i didnt get anything back even tho i gave up so much,why was it like that,why didnt he keep what he said and treated me like the best thing in his life?i dont want him to get hurt in his life,he is vey different person,than other people,u know.i want him not to be so jealous.i want my sweet guy back,the one i met 1,5 ago. i want him to change.i pray to God every night, asking for helping me. but He doesnt respond.I just wanted to be happy.i just wanted to make him ...
2006-11-23 12:18:51 · update #1
i just wanted to make him happy, for the first time in his life. i never wanted to hurt him. i never wanted him to hurt me. i keep asking Lord for help, but He doesnt listen. So hear i am, sitting lonely and heartbroken.it doesnt matter, if i have friends around.it doesnt help. i just want one person. but he hurt me so much.
2006-11-23 12:20:43 · update #2
and it keep coming to my mind, maybe, if i try one more time,maybe it will work,since he saw i left him for a long time,not just for a week as before.i miss him so much, i think i will die.
2006-11-23 12:22:55 · update #3
Do NOT call him A-shole,ok? thank u all for ur opinions, i do apreciate it, that is why im asking, to hear ur views, but do NOT call him names, if u dont know him personally. thank u.
2006-11-23 12:30:53 · update #4
once an abuser always an abuser, stay away from him
2006-11-23 12:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It's funny how some people keep saying this person is nice or that person is nice when that person isn't. He beat you physically and you still call him nice? Come on. It's like someone who do all nice things but he cheats on you and you still stay with that person. This person has mental problems if he touches you like that and throw things and break things. I never ever touch a woman in a violent way whatsoever. And all my friends never loy a finger on their girls also. If it ever comes the point I have to hit her then I leave her and find someone else that won't get me that angry. So this is not a nice guy. Ok? Remember if you miss him or still choose to stay with him it's you who are insecure and lack self-respect and self-love. If you know someone whom you love very very much and that person keeps hanging out with a man who physically baets that person you love , would you tell that person that the guy who beats the person you love is nice??? And that the person you love should stick around anyway??? Do youself a favoer and start loving yourself instaed of the abuser. And if you can't do it then seek counseling.
2006-11-23 12:21:34 · answer #2 · answered by Believe me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you must understand that being jealous is not a sign that someone loves you, it is a sign that the jealous person is very insecure about himself, secondly, abusers always promise change, but it will never come about, thirdly, you must examine why you want to be with only him? it is YOU that also has a big problem with your self esteem...why else would you want to be with someone that hurts you? The facts are that you sacrificed everything for him, you loved him, you tried to change him, but it didn't work....The facts are that if you get back into the same situation things will only escalate to worse...leaving for 6 months is irrevelant...time does not change an abuser..and "nice guys" don't beat up on someone that they profess to love...you need to get help for yourself, and discover WHY YOU ARE TRYING TO "RESCUE THIS PERSON...there is some man out there that will truly love and treasue you for who you are..and therapy for yourself will help you with your self esteem too..Why are you so scared??? Feel like you can't live without this loser?? that's bullcrap, you can, you did before you met him, remember?? you cannot change what his childhood has made of him, so put him out of your head, get therapy, and have a happy life, because if you go back, misery, fear, and helplessness will be your constant companion for you and your future children...guaranteed...That is, if you live long enough, because one day he will kill you!
2006-11-24 00:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by mousyfan 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I used to date guys that were not good for me at a time in my life. I was one of those girls who was a "rescuer". I would fall in love with guys that I wanted to "fix" for some reason or another. Then one day somebody told me..."why do you look to the gutter for love? Set your sights up instead of down". This comment changed my life.
I'm not sure what your background is like and why would you want to go back to that abuse. You dont deserve that.
I once was told this as well..."I believe that God shows us a glance of what our true soul mate is like through the good qualities of those we meet or date". I believe that this guy you have met has some good qualities that you love, but his bad side just isnt a healthy one for you. keep looking sweetie, because your TRUE soulmate will have these qualities and more.
Good luck! Keep us posted!
2006-11-23 12:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by knowitall 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Though he may have had a rough life. You cannot have a successful relationship wiht him. He needs to mature and learn how to cope wiht his problems himselve. While you have a close connection with him, I have been in the same position thinking I'll never find someone else. Looking back I have always found someone. You may be hurting now, but time heals all wounds.
Take Care
2006-11-23 12:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by Chemist 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. Abuse does not end . He need psyc. attention. It is hard but if you can become more active with others and allow yourself a chance to see how it is to have someone treat you with respect , I am sure you will know that love is not the only requirement in a relationship.. lol
2006-11-23 12:13:46 · answer #6 · answered by lepluver 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nice guys do not hurt the women in their lives. The man you love is NOT a nice guy, he's an abuser who acts nice in order to manipulate you. I know, I've been there before.
You see that good part of them and think that if you try harder then they'll be like that all the time but, no, no matter what you do it's the same old thing with them. They get frustrated and they take it out on you!
You are not alone, it's happened to many, many people. You're a good person but you need to see the truth that he probably won't change. It's easier for him to find new victims (or keep pulling you in) than to go work on changing himself.
2006-11-25 11:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Believe you can accomplish something and you will.Do something you love most!You are on the answer board for a reason,What we discover is his misbehavior towards woman.If he beats you, so what not he can do with his children too in future.Your love is not weaker cause it might be your first love.Just " Hope" is knowing such type of people,like kites,are made to be lifted up!
2006-11-23 12:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by precede2005 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right It is extremely important not to forget why you got away from him. Violence, in any situation is a choice. No one deserves to be battered. You may be lonely sometimes and think about him, about the man your heart belonged too, but he consciously abused you. Batterers always say it won't happen again.......Staying in safety and being treated in an enviroment where you are not scared is important!!!!!!!!
2006-11-23 12:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek help.
The fact that there's something wrong with this ****** goes without saying. What might not be PC to say is that there's something wrong with you, too. You need to investigate why you chose (love is a choice) to love someone who abuses you and why you would even consider going back. He's not going to change. You need to. And if you can't do it for yourself, do it for all you family and friends who are going to have to one day bury you if you go back to this man.
2006-11-23 12:21:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless he has undergone extensive therapy, and his therapist can assure you that he is no longer a danger to you, STAY AWAY FROM HIM.
You are following your instincts now by staying away - don't falter or weaken. If he wants to change, he will have to do it on his own, because *he* wants to. You can't wait around to see if he eventually decides to get help or not. Get out and LIVE YOUR LIFE.
2006-11-23 12:15:36 · answer #11 · answered by dreamweaver.629ok 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋