Moving out, help?

Question

I'm 20 almost 21 years old. I have a dilemma. I really feel its time for me to move out and start my own life. I've been extremely sheltered my whole life and my mother has completely controlled my every move and if I asked for any freedom, she'd blackmail me so I couldn't do it. I don't have much, if any, of a relationship with my father and I feel like a prisoner in my own house.

I have a new chance at life with my boyfriend and his family in California, a different state from my own. His mom absolutely loves me and supports me 100% if I decide to move.

I've thought about expenses, there are some places already interested in hiring me (thanks to furious resume emailings!) in that area. I have free place to live and free food. I plan on selling my car to pay for my student loans and my credit card bill and I have money already saved up.

How do I tell them I want to move out?

Also extra info:

I've been with him for almost a year.. We met through friends and fell inlove and have been talking everyday almost all day and seeing eachother when possible.

I've saved up quite a bit of money if things do end up going wrong I can rely on the money I saved... if that backfires I also have an uncle in california I can always rely on. <3

Also:

We only plan on living with his parents until we can find an apartment to live in

Answer 1

=you say that you have been with him for over a year but am wondering if it was a long distance relationship or that he recently moved out there. It is great that you may already have a job. Part of me wonders if you are running away from your troubles. You can continue to make your student loan paymennts andd credit cards without sellling your car. Yoou will need a car to get to and fromm workk etc. If you have money saved up than I suggest you get your own place as soon as you can and if it works out he should be able to join you in the apartment shortly. Make it cleear to him and his mom that you will only be staying with them until you find an apartmennt. Either pay your owwn way or help around the house until you move out. Don't leave on a bad note with your folks if you can help it. This is an opportunity of growth for you and I wish you the best.

Answer 2

Listen. By law you don't have to tell them anything. It's ridiculous that your mom treats you still as a child. I left home at 17! Imagine that. However, I don't think moving in with some boyfriend's parents will help. It's still the same controlling situation. You'll be back to the same thing and eventually you'll get tired. Try moving in with a female roommate and pay half the rent. Show some responsibility to your parents. Show them they are wrong and that you are capable of doing things on your own.
What if you and your boyfriend have a fight? I think living under his roof and with his parents will make him feel awkward. Or ask his parents to rent you the room. It's not nice being a moocher.

Answer 3

If you stay, they are going to knock you down until you get so depressed or you marry the first thing that asks just to get out (I did, not fun). How long have you been with this boyfriend? Did he live in your town first? If not, how did you meet him? Do you have enough money to make it on your own just in case? (Sorry to sound like a mother here, but having been in your situation one needs to have a really good head on their shoulders). Above all...don't look back. Don't call them when things go wrong, don't let them know they "were right". If you go...you have to be totally independent of others, be strong. It doesn't sound like they are going to budge so if this move is what you want...just sit them down and make them listen. Don't accept any guilt trips. Once out...make sure you do not live with the boyfriend's parents for a long time. That can cause undue pressure on you as well. Good Luck!