I have resentment toward my mother. The things that she has done to me , shes lucky that I talk to her at all. She has done some good things but very rotten things. She was very controlling when I was a teenager and I missed out on anything social, which I resent. she used to block the door from letting me leave and one time she threw my things on the lawn when I was 20 and needed her support the most. She basically kicked me when I was down all the time. Basically I went to Thanksgiving today, ate dinner, stayed for 20 minutes and then left. I feel guilty about leaving rigt after I ate but being in her house and looking at her makes me want to leave because I cant stop thinking about how she made me so depressed that I was in a hospital at one time and needed medication.
My question is...Should I feel guilt? How do I forgive and let it go?
2006-11-23 10:59:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
No you should not feel bad - 1 thing you can do is write her a letter getting every hurt out -put it all down on paper then rip it up, burn it BUT DO NOT give it to her as this will just cause more hard feelings - after you write your letter you will feel better, that is what I did with the way I felt about my step mom and no things were not all better over night, but now I have no hard feelings toward her - just try it see if it helps.
2006-11-23 11:13:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three parts to this answer:
[1] Have you found a trusted person to sit down with face to face to talk about this? It can be a counselor, therapist or someone in a church or other group to which you belong. Sane people work to keep their sanity by seeking professional help. This is not about blame. It is about help with sorting and processing your experience and feelings and then learning how to move forward.
[2] It sounds like your mother has her mental health issues. You cannot fix that, but it is important to know that her behavior towards you was far more about her history than you. Knowing this can help you let go of her entanglement with her and move forward.
[3] Forgiveness is more about being able to let go of hurts that continue to weigh you down. It is letting go of the power that her behaviors has had on you. It is not excusing another person's behavior.
Do seek help. You will be glad you did. This is about your life and well-being, not a specific holiday.
Ken
2006-11-23 11:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by kennethmattos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all the details involving your mother, however I do believe that forgiveness is more about the person doing the forgiving than the person being forgiven. This act is for you, not your mother. A true act of forgiveness will free you mind, body and spirit. It will allow you to be with your mother and know that you have done what needs to be done to move on, what your mother does is up to her and you cannot change how she views what she did to you. She is her own person just as you are your own person. Letting go of your past and forgiving is your first step to inner freedom.
2006-11-23 11:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by poodle mom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No. You're still hurting from the way she treated you. And you may for a good while. Just have it in your head that one day, you'll have spent all of your rightful-resentment and make up with her.
Hey, my sister didn't even come over for turkey, today!
2006-11-23 11:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know Jesus as your savior? There is only one way to let go of this kind of resentment, and that is to ask the Lord to take it from you and replace it with His peace and His forgiveness. I completely understand how you would feel the way you do and why you find it difficult to deal with. How to forgive such pain, how to really let go of it? In our own strength, we can't. But Jesus promises that we can do all things through Him, because He will strengthen us. The bondage that you are in, this resentment, is hurting you, causing you to be angry. You don't need to carry it the rest of your life. I ask that you seek the Lord and ask Him to help you lay this down at the foot of the cross. Allow Him to give you joy in the place of anger, forgiveness in the place of resentment. No matter how horrid someone is....we need to never return evil for evil. Living this way is a truly joyful life.
2006-11-23 11:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Esther 7 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Get help.....otherwise while you hate her, you cannot love another person.....you have a problem....she doesn't as she did the best she could.
She did not make you depressed. Depression happens to the best of us......Facing our own problems gets us out of depression, and taking responsibility for our own faults even if they are silly to others....is what gets us on the road to health!
So please........stop blaming your mother....because when she dies.......who are you going to blame for your feelings then?
Thank GOD you have a mother........and try gratitude...
Thank YOU GOD for everything.
2006-11-23 11:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by May I help You? 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
you shouldnt feel guilty. you should go out and get drunk at the bar. thanks what im going to do in a bit. get drunk and get laid. will make it the most memorable thanksgiving that you ever had!! cheers,
2006-11-23 11:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 6⤋