The other night I came out of the shower to find my husband leaning over the bed masturbating to a porn magazine. He quickly closed the door and I ran to the bathroom crying. I thought we had a good sex life, I wear llngerie and we have sex probably five times a week. And what really bothers me is that when I was in the shower he came in and told me to take my time!!!
He told me that he's been doing it for about two weeks once a day because he's afraid of being rejected.
I am so bothered by it. I don't understand why he has to when i'm there every day, and when I caught him I was in the shower naked!
Help!
2006-11-23 10:25:42 · 24 answers · asked by Kelsey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think what you feel does matter and he probably will be more than willing to hear you out. Think rationally, everyone masturbates, but not usually when the other person is naked in the next room and available for sex. I can understand where you're coming from but don't take it quite so seriously men do not think like women, he probably just got horny looking at the magazine and went for it. He didn't do it to hurt you. Better that than to find him with another woman. Ask him to let you help next time or let him watch you masturbate, it will drive him crazy and your sex life will be even better.
2006-11-23 11:09:58 · answer #1 · answered by bamababe010 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is a serious question, my best advice is to lighten up. You could be having sex with your husband TWENTY times a week, and he'd still masturbate. It's just what men do. Don't take it as an insult to your sexuality- take it as a compliment. You were in the next room NAKED and WET- why WOULDN'T he masturbate? If it's the porn that bothers you, keep in mind that most men are visual creatures and need something to look at rather than imagine like women do (which is why God invented McDreamy, btw). Tell your husband that it bothers you and that you're not even sure WHY (since that's what your actual question was). He might offer up his reasons for masturbating or try better to be more discreet.
2006-11-24 15:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't get so upset about it-- if you have a good relationship and a good sex life, it doesn't hurt for him to have some good fantasies. And it's better that he uses a magazine than spending a lot on on-line porn, or going out and having a real affair. As long as you are getting as much lovin' as you want, don't worry that he exercises his imagination a little. I would be worried about him thinking you might reject him. If you are as active as you say, then you obviously aren't rejecting him now. Is there something else he wants to do that he's afraid to ask for? It's time for a sit down talk to make sure everything is alright between you and that you are meeting each others' needs. Good Luck!!
Good Luck!!
2006-11-23 10:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This may be an very old habit, something he did way before you.
Weird that he did this in front of you, or was hoping your were going to be in the shower longer. This may have nothing to do with you at all. Might want to talk to see if this is something that is old and a habit that he has. Good luck and sorry, but I'm sure your not alone in this.
2006-11-23 10:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by flower 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
a man will get worked up when he has sex to much and he will want it even more. Be glad that he is just masturbating and not running out finding another woman. My wife and i have sex 2 to three times a day and we both still masturbate if needed. I usually am thinking of the great sex i had with her the night before or the sex i am going to get when we go to bed am i get all worked up just thinking of her.
2006-11-23 10:46:38 · answer #5 · answered by The Tramp Collector 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is emotional adultery and he has taken your right as a wife and gave it to an ............ (whatever you want to insert here...it doesn't really matter- the point is HE GAVE IT TO...)
He purposely chose to reject you and give to......
So, I would say there is an underlying problem and if you keep the hurt to yourself and you guys don't talk about it it may get terribly worse and the abandonment and pain you feel with grow and fester and put a BIG damper on things even in regular ordinary life not to mention the sex life.
If he shrugs it off and says it is nothing...then he obviously is saying your suspicions, fears, etc. don't matter. Tell him then FOR YOU if not for himself, you would like to figure out what it is all about. And tell him you want to understand so your thoughts and feelings can be in line and not be hurt, etc.
I think maybe he needs to understand your point more and you need to find out what in the world it means when he says he doesn't want to be REJECTED.
2006-11-23 10:33:55 · answer #6 · answered by CrystalChaser 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Seriously try not to let it bother you. Everyone masturbates, and I bet you do too. If it bothers you, ask him to do it while you're out. It's not that your sex life isn't good, it's that sometimes it just feel good to pleasure yourself. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. I've caught my husband many times, and when I do, I just take over, and it's the best sex ever. Sometimes, I do it, hoping he'll catch me too. Make it fun, and relax hon, it's 100% normal. ~~~
2006-11-23 10:30:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I dont think its really a problem Probably your husband really has a drive when it comes to those things. Its not like he is cheating.... Indulge on the things that he likes also. Better yet, ask him about it. He might also be shy about his situation.... thats why you are there as a wife, to help him with things also.
2006-11-23 10:29:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it personal. Many men do it. Porn has been around for a long time. Instead of crying and taking it so personal ask him to let you watch.
2006-11-23 11:41:21 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It hurts because it sort-of makes you feel like he's having sex with other women, and that you're not good enough or too much work. Especially since you are available and willing. That's how it makes me feel......I just found out mine does it every day while I'm in the next room and it hurts my feelings, too.
2006-11-23 11:38:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋