it's so twisted who could know what to do?

Question

well I am 14 years old, ye wow, and I am pregnant, nearly four mnts I had to move to Arizona to live with my mom b/c she can help me take care of the baby but my boyfriend who's 16 is still up in Idaho I tried to just let it go, I mean him, and he totally flipped said he want's to spend the rest of his life with me have a family and I can't be with someone else b/c it would hurt him too bad to see his kid and me with someone else. He get's me all soft so I break down he says he'll call me and he might, or he'll wait a couple of days so I end up calling him I believe if he is really commited to this baby and me he should be down here in arizona with me, woriking to support us I know he will have to drop out of school but he's 16 he can I know school is extrememly important but he's failing all his classes anyway and he's been held back so he has 3 years left instead of this one and next he's a dad now not a little boy, his mom won't let him go though I'm pregnant and completely confused

Answer 1

I'm not going to criticise (spelling?) on how old you are but if you realy think about it don't you beleive that your mom would be more comitted to helping you and your baby than your boyfriend? I mean seriously. Even though he is failing school (I dont know his past record) he might just be stressed out about you being pregnant. I think that you two and your parents should sit down and have a little conference to discuss your futures. I hope that you make the right decision.

Answer 2

Honey, you made a mistake. You don't need to suffer for it, or make more mistakes in an attempt to fix this one. You have an awesome mother who is helping you through this. Finish your education, and your boyfriend should finish his. Agree to keep phoning, emailing, or writing to each other, and tell him to finish his education. Once he is finished his, then he will be more able to support himself, and your child. Without an education, both of you won't have much of a future. Once he is finished, maybe he could move closer, or you could move closer to him, and if the relationship is still good, consider dating again and maybe even marriage, who knows.
For right now, you have a supportive mother and a supportive boyfriend, which is a heck of a lot more than a lot of girls get in the same situation. Concentrate on eating healthy and living healthy for your sake and the baby's, and going to school. Go to birthing and parenting classes, they are usually free for teen mothers. Get a baby name book and a book about pregnancy and childbirth so you know more about what is happening to you (What to Expect When You're Expecting).
I'm praying that all things will work out for your good, and for the good of your baby. Remember, babies are never an accident, they are a gift from God, and God does not make junk. Don't let anyone tell you any different. much love.

Answer 3

Your situation sounds so...intense. Well, if I were also only 14, I would be confused too, becuase there are so many things going on. Trust me, many people will make rude comments about your situation, but it is only natural to worry so much, and don't know a way out. I guess you definitely want to keep your baby, though that means you will have to drop out of school and maybe have your boyfriend drop out too, and be financially unstable. I fully understand what it feels like knowing that you are pregnant, and though it may hinder you one way or another, you want to feel the joy. At 14, I would have probably belived that my 16 year old boyfriend would want to be with me my entire life, a lot of girls feel that way at 14, it's normal. He may be very committed to you and the baby at the momnet, or even the next several years, but I highly doubt he will do that for the rest of his life. I am not trying to convince you other wise, but honestly, he is, after all, only 16. He may run into other problems later in life, or even meet other people, and you may too, really, there might be good turn in your life without him by your side. He won't be able to "settle down" with you, because there won't be "settling" when both of you are not financially stable. If your mother is really understanding, you should really go to your mother, and let her help you raise this child without worrying where all of you are going to live or eat for the next day. I belive you want to put your child in priority, otherwise why would you even want to keep the baby if you can't even fully provide for him/her and have time and energy to be with him/her. You don't need to completely leave your boyfriend, you can keep in touch with him, and send pictures to him of yourself being pregnant, let him follow along the pregnancy, then send pictures of the baby, you can be great friends. It is healthy for the developement of your baby if you keep in touch with him, because if I were you I don't want my child to have no father.

Answer 4

I think you should keep the kid. You made him so don't terminate and suffer. If you do, you'll not only be killing an innocent thing, you'll also probably scar yourself and think, "oh why did I do this?" For the love of God, please don't do abortions. I heard that alot of bad things happen to people who do this. My dad knew a woman who had this and she's now divorced, her husband's dead, and her older son in rehab off and on. So please consider your future. I know it will be different and difficult with a baby and all, but thing of the joy your mom will have it you give her a grandchild?

Plus, no offense, but why did you have sex so early? My advice then, is keep the baby, live with mom as she'll support you and then go to school and finish it. You can go to alternative school and turn your life around. It's not too late!

Answer 5

Time for a MAJOR reality check. Your b/f is 16 and ONLY 16. He CANNOT support you (other than emotionally) and that baby you are going to have (through the immaturity and total selfishness of you both) is going to cost plenty! The first year of life (not counting the 10-15,000 dollars it costs to bring the baby into this world in a hospital) will cost over $ 10,000.00 At minimum wage (which is probably all he could make without a high school diploma) you two could never make it. You are going to have to have help. The BEST help you could get is by him finishing school. He needs to go to summer school and night school and finish up quicker than he is currently scheduled. That means he is going to have to WORK on school. AFTER he graduates you have a better chance of making it. You too need to finish school because if the two of you are living together apart from your folks it will take BOTH of you working to make it.

You are living under the false assumption that your lives are going to join together and everything will be peachy keen. That is NOT TRUE. Unfortunately the likelihood is you will raise this child on your own without him and you will eventually have to go to court to get child support and set up visitation. 16 year old boys (and he IS a boy and will be next year. . . even if he is a biological father) RARELY get their act together enough to give up their freedom and create a family with a 14 yo GIRL (who happens to be having his baby).

Your best act RIGHT NOW is to take parenting classes, get good prenatal care for your child and concentrate on setting up a living environment for your soon to arrive child and FORGET about anything else. IF he puts out the effort to come to Arizona and be with you. . . that's great. Even if he does, if he doesn't finish school you can figure your relationship is over. If he doesn't come BECAUSE he is finishing school. . . consider that a GOOD thing and wait for him.

You, girl, have a tough road to hoe and you have "made your bed so you have to lie in it". You are going to need all the help you can get from your folks, counselors, doctors, and hopefully, a church pastor or priest. You need to prepare for your child, work HARD in school and listen to those around you helping you to prepare for a new life in this world.

I wish you the best. . . because you will need it.

Answer 6

if your boyfriend was irresponsible enough to get you pregnant in the first place, then HOW IN THE HELL is he going to be responsible enough to support you and his baby? nobody is going to want to hire somebody that doesnt have a diploma and what will you do if something happens to him and he cant support you anymore? then you are going to have to rely on your own skills to support yourself and your baby. you need to finish school no matter what. and anyway if he loves you that much he will come back to you after high school. he will wait for you. and if he doesnt wait, then it wasnt meant to be in the first place

Answer 7

Realistically he isn't going to be able to support you, is he? You're likely to be better off with your Mum and maybe he can visit? Then when you're both a few years older, if you're still in contact and want to be together, you could work something out then.

Answer 8

i had not read more dan 2 lines of ur question... as u r 14, solution is: abortion.

Answer 9

dear lord, you are too young to have a baby!!
Do you realise that at 14 your body may not have developed fully to give birth to a baby??
You've got worse things to consider!
You need to see a doctor and consider an abortion.
I know abortion isn't the best option...but at your age....you should seriously consider it.