What's happening with bisexuals?

Question

When I first started looking around I was one of the few open bisexuals, now there's more and more. Basically what I want to know is why are so many bisexuals who are using their sexuality as an excuse to cheat. I understand and can even accept polygamy, even though I could never do it myself, but I get tired of people saying that because they are bi they need to be with both a man and a woman at the same time and then still try to pass it off as love. Whatever happened to love being devoting yourself to your significant other? Where's the loyalty anymore? I don't mind open relationships but how can you still pass it off as love?

So what I want to know is am I really the only bisexual monogamist left out there?

Monogamist is someone who practices monogamy.

Answer 1

There are a LOT of happy monogamous bisexuals, believe me. I generally notice that most of them are the so-called 'established' bisexuals- ones who have known their sexual orientation for a long time and come to terms with it. It seems that most people grappling with bicurious/bisexual feelings start to think that they should have the 'best of both worlds', not realizing that bisexuality does not equal polyamory.

I agree with you that it's a tired old excuse to say that people who want relationships with both men and women simultaneously do it because they are bi. I hate that excuse, and the negative stereotypes it furthers. I still feel that monogamy is the best expression of love between two individuals, and I, a bisexual female, will almost without a doubt be monogamous in my future.

However, even though they aren't for me (or most people), polyamorous relationships can be and are, indeed, loving. That was the only thing that irked me about your post- for some, it's not 'passing it off as love'- there is true, deep genuine devotion betwen two, three, or however many other indivuals are involved in the relationship. Loyalty has little to do with it, since polyamory isn't cheating (it always must be okayed with everyone involved). A lot of people do cheat and call it polyamory, but that's not right.

All in all, just know that you aren't alone. Long live bisexual monogamists!

Answer 2

monogamy doesn't equal love. there are some people who consider them selves 'tri-sexual' and they alwasy enter a relationship with 3 people of mixed gender.
it is possible for a bisexual to be a monogamist, I am.
some of these people are just young- they lakc the maturity and the motivation to be with only one person and just like a str8 or gay person they try to justify that without admitting it's there age/maturity/ect

Answer 3

It has been my experiance that the monogamous bisexuals are not out or are not as out or are not as active in the gay community. The mono bisexuals either pass for straight, pretend to be completely gay, or avoid large scale gay gatherings.

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and have no interest in monogamy. We're the only out bi open couple we know, but we have plenty of single bi friends who are mono/poly/undecided.

Answer 4

being bisexual don't mean cheating at all. i wouldn't consider myself as bi even if i don't find the idea of having sex with a woman unattractive at all. for me it's all about sharing and respect. You respect the person you are with either man or woman, either same or opposite sex. monogamy is all about finding the one that fulfills your needs and makes you a better person. all the rest are bullshit to me...
please....... there is a better excuse to cheat or change partners!!

Answer 5

I'm monogamous but it's very frustrating. I think doing anything with a guy is cheating and I can't do that. Though, it's possible my marriage was a mistake.

Answer 6

Nope, you're one of the only *two* monogamous bisexuals out there.