a man who cheats and leaves his wife after 24 yrs sayin he hasnt been happy for the last 8 which is a huge surprise for the wife who tried in vain to always keep the lines of communication open.........now he lives with his 21 yr old girlfriend and sees the kids on the weekends when he can........he makes the kids a part of his life even though he is commiting adultery as we are still married..........he feels no guilt or remorse no shame........ive heard people say he is going thru a mid life crisis.......thats nothing but an excuse.........its been 8 months and it is getting easier heartwise but i have alot of questions as to why....why did you find it nessacary to hurt me to this degree.......since this time he has barely said 2 words to me and when he does its usually very cold..........has anyone any advice or opinion on what i have written here....
2006-11-23 08:44:30 · 13 answers · asked by kelly h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's a special place in hell for him. The Devil won't even give him any ice water while he burns in the lake of fire.
You need to understand he's no good for you. Why? because he is an idiot and does not deserve you. No need to wonder why any longer.
2006-11-23 09:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like a midlife crisis - excuse or not. He will continue to say and do horrible things. He is not doing these things to hurt you intentionally. He's just being extremely selfish - part of the crisis (as is the 21-year-old).
You haven't indicated whether you want him back or not. If you don't then file for divorce. If you do want him back you may have to either wait it out. It could be longer. My husband came back after 5 months and did whole-heartedly regret what he did to our relationship.
There are lots of sites and books that could help you through this time if it's what you want.
Start with www.midlifeclub.com
2006-11-23 16:51:41 · answer #2 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'd be shock to hear the things I have. I use to work on the phones and I can't tell you the amount of times men have poured there souls out to a stranger on the phone. they arn't happy nor have been for years some take a heart attack or triple by pass others have gotten into a car accident or lost in the stok market i've heard it all. bottom line these men are truly honest they just can't seem to have ther epartners understand even when i ask each one have you tryed telling your wives this. they say oh yeah she knows we don't sleep together or sex is nul andvoid or its poor or i have talked to her abou tthis and all they say is yeah yah goes in one ear out the other or its denial or there to busy with the kids trust me the list goes on and on.
Now why did he hurt you in this way. lets face it 24 years no matter how he would have gone about it it would have stung either way. with or without another woman im sorry for you but its more common than youknow. he wasn't happy he told you last 8 years im sure there were signs perhaps you didnt see them but regardless its done now and he's moved on which is what he wants you to do. as women we hang on longer we hurt and were very sensitive not that men arn't they too take it hard but in there own way and they don't pine as long as we do so im sure this was very difficult at first for him too no one wants to throw away history like that but he also knows he's not living this way. and for ever how many mmore years he has left on this earth he wants to give it a shot one more time and maybe another if this one does'twork out too. you can't blame a person for wanting to livelife and getting more out of it especially when they feel the life there in is at a dead end. if the tables were turned you would want the same kind of freedom.
Good luck in your next chapter in your life what done is done now you need to heal and move on. if you stay this way you will only become bitter he's gone on with his life for him its past tense.. you now need to worry about you and move on too.
2006-11-24 05:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason it seems it is harder for a man to accept he is getting older. He thinks if he can get a younger girl in the sack that makes him younger... I do not know why but it seems to be such a common thing now.
I know it must be very hard but go on with your life. If he sees you are enjoying yourself MAYBE he will wish for the old days again and start to warm up to the idea that you are really more his style than someone who coould be his child.
2006-11-23 16:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by Molly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on and get uself the life you deserve and when the dust has settled and things are not to raw get the person you deserve, he is only commiting adultery in the legal sense in his mind the marriage is over. get some counselling and move on for your own sanity, repeatedly asking why only hurts you. he wants to go in another direction is the only reason, the 21yo will want someone her own age and he will be dumped but by then you would have moved on
peace and good luck
2006-11-23 17:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine how much he has hurt you. For him to do that to you and you didn't' even see it coming.....he's not worth your tears and grieve. I've been married 30 years and if he did that to me...I would never forgive him!! He would have lost all my trust and I would want to know why too! Don't let him treat you badly in your own home...make him leave and see an attorney so he has to pay child support to help you out. I'm sorry this has happened to you...please find someone to talk to and help you get through this tough time.
2006-11-23 16:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by breezygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we could live to be as old as Methuselah we will never understand men and why they do the things they do. Use this as a lesson learned and move on to something better. It hurts, but you have to move on.
2006-11-23 17:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound cold-hearted... Don't waste your time considering the why, who etc etc...
They left you in what sounds like a cowardly way... Don't let the anger drag you down... (I know easier said than done)
2006-11-23 16:59:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a goose, mid life thing, he is missing his younger life. He will learn the hard way.
2006-11-23 16:55:36 · answer #9 · answered by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not the end of the world..get on with your life and stop dwelling in the past..you only live once so make the best of it and find what makes you happy..
2006-11-23 16:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by roobeng.indahouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋