Is it truly possible to forgive a man who cheated on you after 13 years together, left you for the other woman, broke your heart and the heart of your child, has moved on so fast that you begin to wonder if he ever loved you? Can you forgive in this situation or simply put it out of your mind so that you do not go insane? Can you ever be friends again or simply civil for your child's sake? Should you be friends?
2006-11-23 08:00:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How can you be friends with someone who has betrayed your trust? You can be polite because of your child and because in life you get more with honey than you do with vinegar! HOwever, that is all I would be. No information, no jokes, no real conversation. Then take a deep breath. Realize that he looked at your relationship with all its pluses and cons and decided to try his luck elsewhere. UNfortunatly he forget to inform you about his decision. Take another deep breath. Realize that a cheater is a liar is a sneak-- aren't you worth more? In other words, through thick and thin you stood by him but he could not do the same. Honey, he is not wrothy of your love. Put on some make-up, get dressed and go out!
2006-11-23 09:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by joan w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has moved out and on long back. If he can find happiness, so can you! Get a job, get some friends, get a hobby...take your child out on short trips, drive to the zoo, mall etc etc.
Its very difficult to forgive or forget. Try counseling. There are social work organization that will help you. Do you go to a place of worship? I have always found that prayer heals.
Your child and your ex-husband need to talk to each other. You should only lend your child emotional support and no opinion. Be the dependent parent.
As for you being friends with him, only time can tell. But for now, let it be between child and father alone. You stay out. You needn't show any emotions...even smile. First get a grip of your emotions and then learn to manipulate them.
You can do this!
Good luck!
2006-11-23 08:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by sadsmile 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can forgive but unfortunately you never forget. Civility is important for your child's sake but friendship would probably not happen because of the trust issues - you have to trust your friends. Good luck - there are always new horizons to move towards.
2006-11-23 08:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by zappafan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself tim eto grieve first...Without griving there is no healing. Yes you can forgive but not forget. My ex husband cheated on me 3 times that I know of while I was carring his child. Now we are somewhat of friends. I still do not trust him but my kids can not even sense it. We attend ball meetings together...Openly share and swap visitation to suit what is best for our children. We are both remarried and the strange thing is that I love his new wife as a member of (not my family but) my kids family. The past is between us not the children...Grive, Forget, and Move On...It does take time though. In my case it took about 3 years...Now we know that when it comes to our boys we are ok...
2006-11-23 08:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by nekiawhitaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need time to heal before there can be a friendship, hard to be friends without trust. I hope you have some support (rough deal) I know that the scars are deeper when kids are involved so be careful of causing further damage. It would be a good time to start looking after you, make it a priority your worth it, he certainly isn't. Have you heard the Dixie Chick Song...not ready to make nice ? I dont think you are yet and shouldn't be!
2006-11-23 08:15:04 · answer #5 · answered by karenschonert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes forgive. The key to forgiveness is to realize that it it that persons issue and their choice to do those things.and to come to terms with the evidence that maybe the guy was not capable of truly loving you. We rationalize things in many ways. When one of us makes a decision out of selfishness it truly is our own shortcoming. I would be inclined to weep for the poor guy who is really pitiful, and feel good that you are not that person.If you really love/loved him let him go.Hold your head up an know you did the best you could.One day he may open his eyes and find he is of little substance and regret the choices he's made. if you love him pray he does because it means that he is learning (don't pray out of spite )
2006-11-23 08:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by someone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't dwell on the past learn from it.
It is hard to forget, even harder to lie to the ones you love.
In your situation I think the only way to forgive would be to forget.
Anger will fade but that does not count as forgiveness.
What will you do to this man in the next life when choice is given to you? (retorical)
2006-11-23 08:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can truly forgive but you'll never forget b/c in your lonliest times or when they are not in your sight that issues will surface and for that split second you'll think they are cheating not saying that they will be but that will be your initial thought just forgive and let go and let god do the rest he'll remove the doubt from your head and heart!
2006-11-23 08:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you do not have to forgive or forget...
The pain & anger fades with time...
AND...
You do not have to be friends...
You need to be civil for the childs sake but that is all...
2006-11-23 08:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never forget. You will forgive after you realize that you are better person, than him. He will not be important to you anymore and after that you will forgive, bcs you just do not care.
2006-11-23 13:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mike S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋