I need help proving myself.?

Question

Basically, In my class I am the only boy who dresses correctly, and behaves in a non-mad way. In first year I wore two straps of my school bag, while everyone else wore one (This is not the cause but I had to mention). So far, I am in third year and everyone with a few exceptions, is calling me gay. EG."Matthew is gay", "Look how gay that is." "Look at matt the gay nerd". I cant see any reason for it (No im positive im not gay, or do I walk gay). But im the only one in the class that gets picked on in the same way. What could I possibly do to become not known as gay. Help please!

Oh by the way we wear uniforms, not normal clothes. By dressing normally I mean top button in etc!

Answer 1

People will think whatever they want to think, and trying to do something about it is a waste of time. Anyway, do you think there's something 'wrong' with being gay? Are gay people lesser people because they're gay?

Your classmates are simply immature bullies. In these cases, I find it's best to do one of two things: either take a strategy of self-parody and beat your bullies to the punch (this is a common and effective strategy to deter bullying), or follow the counter-intuitive approach of ignoring them.

I would tend to go with the former, even though the latter has been shown to be effective. But that's only because that's my personality; it's difficult for me to cow-tow to other people's biddings, even if it may be for my own good.

But each situation is different. Are these people the kind who will get sick and tired of keeping the insulting up if they're ignored? Or would the latter strategy be more likely to catch them off guard and shock them into submission? If you don't give someone what they want (and in this case, they want to get a rise out of you due most likely to being jealous of you), eventually they'll realize their energy is not worth the effort and discontinue the heckling.

Either strategy could be effective. Certainly the very worst thing you could do is deny their claims. That is exactly what they're looking for, and that will guarantee their continuing the harrasment.

Years ago some kids came up to me and, because I had a big nose, started teasing me. I responded by joking around about how if they think my nose is big, they should see my parents' noses. Their reaction was one of being perplexed and caught off guard, and they muttered something unintelligible as they ceased the harrasment and walked away.

Like I said, it's counterintuitive, and so it might not be easy for you to do. But it's been shown to be effective in such situations.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Don't let what other people say bother you so much. It's not your fault that they have nothing better to do than say negative things about you. Just go on doing your own thing. Don't waste your energy trying to prove yourself to anyone but yourself. If you really like this girl, be nice to her. If you see she needs a hand with something, help her out. If you guys happen to make eye contact, smile. Just be a gentleman. Other than that, keep your distance. Don't follow her around like a puppy dog or stare at her and make her uncomfortable. Anyway, if she believes what her friends say, then why would you be interested in a girl like that? Don't waste your time pining over a girl who thinks you're a loser.

Answer 3

God did not put you here to prove yourself to anyone! As long as you are happy and you treat people the way you want to be treated, you're doing just fine. Karma will get these people back for ridiculing and making fun of you. You know you're not gay, so what everyone else says shouldn't matter at all. Let your marvelous personality shine through, find people to socialize with who aren't gonna judge you for the way you look or carry yourself. I'm sure you're a beautiful person, you just haven't found anyone worth sharing that with, right? Well, EVERYONE is worth sharing that with. You just be nice until you don't think you can be nice anymore, then kill 'em with some more kindness! Have a blessed day and a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Answer 4

Hey Matt,
Take heart - you are more mature but it will take many of them years to see that. Don't compromise - I am a High School teacher and I think the world of students like you. At our school it is often said that the kids who are calling you names, etc. will be the ones working for you some day. You are on a success path, stay on it. And remember to keep the end in mind - your graduation, college, your success in life... if you know where you are going you can get there. My guess is that the others do not know where they are going.
You can't stop them altogether, but have your own strength and direction and that will be seen, and go along way toward making things better now.

Answer 5

Adolecents in school can be real mean. Usually people pick on others as a way to keep the negative attention off of themselves. They are often masking their own insecurities. I can tell you that life gets better after school and people will appreciate you for your individuallity. So hang in there.

Get a girlfriend if your not gay. It doesn't have to be serious. My best friend in high school was gay and didn't let anyne know about it until after high school. I was close to him and knew it all along. If your not gay, and you truley know your not. Don't worry about what people say at school. Your fortunate that at least you know who your friends are. Most of the namecallers have shallow friends that are there only until they do something deemed not popular. Take care and celebrate your individuallity.

Answer 6

What are the reasons that make them call you gay?? Do you dress or act like one and very different from them?? Did you do something that made them call you that?? I think you should find out the reasons why they are doing that to you and then try to clear those reasons up with them and tell them firmly that you are not gay and also let them know that you really dislike what they say of you and tell them to stop saying that. If you keep feeling bothered by what they say of you, then let the teachers know that you feel bothered by that and ask the teacher if s/he can address that or talk to those students.

Answer 7

Well those people are jerks and you shouldnt listen to them! i know how it feels to be called gay because people called me les all the time because me & my best friend who's a girl joke around alot. I started by ignoring them & they must be really messed up, how does 1 or 2 staps make you gay??? its just a bag. Maybe if you have a girlfriend you could prove that your straight. well im sorry if i wasnt much help but i did my best.
good luck!! have a happy thanksgiving!

Answer 8

there is nothing wrong with having your own self of being... you do not need to conform to what everyone else thinks. If you know that you are not gay, then, the hell with them.... just remember that after school... you will basically not ever see any of these kids again... but if you want to fit in... then dress the part ,just remember you don't have to act the way that they do.

Answer 9

try to get a girlfriend and there are ways you can still dress nicely and not be considered gay. You just have to find that fashionable laid back style. Go for an athletic look. Good luck

Answer 10

The first thing you need to do is remember a lot of people have a short attention span. They'll do something mean one day and then forget about it the next.

The key thing for you to do is pretend it doesn't bother you, because the mean kids FEED on the knowledge that something bothers you and continue doing it because of that. If you make it look like you don't care what they think, they'll move on and forget all about bothering you.

Looking like you don't care what they think is the absolute key.