April i was supposed to have gotten married to my college sweet heart but he called the wedding off 4 hours before it was supposed to take place and told me he needed space and time to think. We have not spoken since that day and recently he left a message now he has left 3 wanting to speak to me again saying he loves me still and he never meant to hurt me.
2006-11-23 06:10:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He was my first everything and i feel like an emotional mess.
2006-11-23 06:11:42 · update #1
I had a similar situation w/ my high school sweetheart. We had been planning on getting married but then he told me that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore (there was another girl involved as well). It was too painful for me to wait around and see him distancing himself. We didn't speak for months and then out of nowhere I received a message from him asking for forgiveness and that he knew I was the one.
My advice is if you still love him then try to work it out b/c you'll always wonder what would have happened. If you know yourself (like I did) and know that you'll never get over that level of hurt and betrayel then move on and don't drag it out. It will hurt more in the end if you're wishy washy about what you want. The ball is in your court now so take the time and "space" to figure out what you really want. Deep down you know what will make you happy and what won't. If he makes you happy and you believe him then don't worry about what family/friends will think of you. Your happiness is what's important. So if you know that he is your everything, then start out slowly building back trust. Make him take you out on dates again and show you that he's committed to this relationship again.
Deep down you knew he would come back didn't you? They always do you know.....Good luck!
2006-11-23 08:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Marianna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, I'm sorry .... Marriage is something that some people take seriously and some dont. This is to some a life time commitment and to celebrity's its a way to boost there ratings.. He was afraid , It could be because of the amount of people there, it could be he has cold feet, could be someone put a stupid idea in his head.. The question isn't why he came back its what is it and is it worth fixing.... There is a issue it has nothing to do with you but affects you no matter what.. I believe that he didn't mean to hurt you..I wish i had been in his situation, but it would have to be in this time in my life.. He may not be ready yet, i would talk it through with him and find out what it is that scares him, if you do this you will be loved at a level that he has never loved you more.If it doesn't work out know you were the one that did everything you could do and it was his choice.. I would rather give 100% and fail then wonder why.. Michael
2006-11-23 14:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by canadianchipndales 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your lucky that it all came up then. You would have been in a mess leading to divorce. I have done the same thing in relationships because I always felt that there was someone else that I could date, which in turn is a translation for "I need space".
Marriage can't be forced and he is obviously scared to say how he really feels about you because he may lose you or hurt your feelings.
Guys like "us" are scared to hurt peoples feeling and in the last moment in time when it is near being too late we explode because we haven't told anyone how we really feel. In the end it hurts everyone. He has felt this way for a long time...all the way through the planning and the picking out of the dress he has been overloading his mind with thought of being with you forever and has drove himself crazy.
I would suggest getting some mediation and talking about what you both really want. Tell him that you need to really know what he wants and don't blame him for felling the way he feels. If he wants to marry...make sure that is what he wants...if he doesn't just be glad that you didn't have kids and go through a messy divorce...ending up in hatred.
Really...this is a time for a counselor where you both can really open up and tell each other how you feel.
2006-11-23 14:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by alfredtwyman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has not contacted you since calling the wedding off, 4 hours before it happened in April........it is OVER between the two of you. No use opening up wounds that are beginning to heal. Disregard his messages, and move on in your life! Good Luck!!
2006-11-23 14:22:01 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him some time to a least say what he has to say. meet somewhere public over coffee or something. sounds like some issues need worked on before any other steps can be taken.
if one or both are involved with someone else now, make sure that is known to both of you also. don't jump right in to anything new until you clear up the pains between you.
2006-11-23 14:17:53 · answer #5 · answered by blueJean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pray and have patience. if you still love him respond to his call. it sounds like he still loves you however, he has some personal issues to work out. I believe it will all work out. He loves you Girl... Don't rush into anything to quickly. You want to make sure he is for real. just relax and be cool. your first conversation shouldn't be about the past let the present guide you. you can revisit the past in time. let him bring it up. Remember Baby steps. you got to crawl before you walk and run. you'll be fine. you will probebly be planning your wedding next year this time. If you believe in a higher power pray and have faith. you'll be fine. He called because he cares!!
2006-11-23 14:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by dee dee s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
than ask him why he did hurt u, sounds as if he is trying to be with u again, but be careful not to fall back into it. he did call off the marriage, wasn't sure, got cold feet, or was seeing someone else, but what he did to u was not only hurtful but had to be embarrassing to u. personally i would never let him back in to my life, as if he is so unstable and doesn't know what he wants, he won't make a good mate. just be careful, ususally when a man tells us he needs his space, it means he has someone else, the relationship with that someone else must have ended.
2006-11-23 18:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably went into another relationship and thats why he called the wedding off and they broke up so he came back to you hoping you would be easy to convince to go with him again but be strong dont be pulled in by false love!He just needs you for a while till he finds another girl!DONT GO WITH HIM!TRUST ME!!!**
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2006-11-23 14:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him.ask him his reason for what he did.Don't settle for i just needed space,i was confused,or to needed to think.Any excuse that vaguely answers your question.It is best to let your instincts guide you,not your heart.Being your first in everything,it may be hard.But if you let your heart take over,you won't be able to hear the real truth in what he is saying.
2006-11-23 14:26:41 · answer #9 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he had reservations about the marraige and he handled it very poorly. If you feel like talking to him, go ahead and talk to him, but it might just trigger more feelings of "emotional mess".
2006-11-23 14:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋