Well, I'm just wondering if I am reading too much into this whole thing. I've been dating a man, who I've known for 10 years, about 6 months now. Since the beginning of this relationship I have had a problem with the fact that he is not divorced. He is legally seperated and has been for over two years now. The first excuse was money, so I printed out fee waivers. The excuse now is time but he really has plenty of it. I hate nagging and I hate that he is annoyed by me bringing up the subject but I cannot and do not feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who is still legally married (seperated or not). Do I have a right to be pissed off? Or am I blowing things out of proportion?
2006-11-23 05:57:43 · 5 answers · asked by snow_sammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, you should be annoyed. And that should also be enough to warrant you giving him his walking papers.
IOW, why should he divorce?. He obviously likes the setup that he has.
2006-11-23 06:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he was married since point one!!! Why are you nagging now? In the past 6months you have dated him, have you slept with him? if yes, you were pretty comfortable then right??? You are given him pretty much what a man wants without real comittment. He say "she knew i was married/seperated since the begginig whats the problem now?" You were not that conscious about it then were you?? If he really wanted to get divorced he would have done it already you accepted him this way, why would he need to do anything else??
2006-11-23 06:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by HelpmeFast 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he's stuck in a cycle of grief/loss over his marriage. I don't think that he's deliberately stalling because he doesn't want to be with you. Change is hard, and maybe he still needs to grieve and process what went wrong in the marriage before he moves on to another serious relationship. He might benefit from a few sessions of individual counseling to help him get through these loss issues. There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It sounds as if he's in the depression stage.. Get Dr. Kubler-Ross book on grief/loss issues and relationships. It might help you gain a different perspective on things. Good Luck!
2006-11-23 06:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been in your same sitution and it was going on for 3 years and he is still not divorced.If he really wanted to be divorced he would be and this way he has an excuse not to get to close to anyone..
2006-11-23 06:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure he's even married ?
& if he is, perhaps he's safe by not settling up with her & getting divorced ...
could be she's in the same spot as you ?
that is , if he's married at all..
check courthouse records , you'll know if he's married, legally separated ?
2006-11-23 06:09:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋