My friend has been married to her husband for 19 years.they have 4 kids all boys.about 3 weeks ago she found out her husband has been cheating on her with a co-worker. which he just lost his job because of this.now mind you this is after having been to marriage counciling for 6 months before this affair. he totally lied about alot of things about the affair.he tells her he loves her and only her and wants to make this work. he says sorry over and over. after a few days she found out all the facts and truth about the affair from the other women. he told her that the other women didnt mean anything to him even tho this went on for 4 months. when she recently went into his phone the other girls number was still in there but under a mans name. they are going to try marriage counciling again. She is really confused. What should see do? and what about the boys?
2006-11-23 05:40:39 · 22 answers · asked by d b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he also talks very badly about her to people he used to work with. he told the other women that he couldnt wait till he leaves his wife.
2006-11-23 05:43:32 · update #1
What ABOUT the boys!!?? Boys grow up and model their father's behavior....Is that ok? Children also feel the pain of an unhappy marriage...Adultery is a very personal issue, and one that your friend will need support and help through. I suggest she get counseling on her own as well. Prayer, and time should help too... Can she ever trust him again? Does he truly want this relationship? I feel that women stay in bad relationships because they feel trapped, helpless, there are groups, and centers to help with this...But if it were me? I'd be done with it-when no respect, honesty , or integrity are in the realtionship-then there really IS no relationship.
2006-11-23 05:59:06 · answer #1 · answered by lil_grrrl69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he know that mummy will always be there why should he change.
As the saying goes love is not enough nowadays. Trust only trust will free your soul.
The boys? Tell them the truth, you lay in the bed you make, and their fathers has been in too many beds lately. It will not hurt them to know the truth. If they findout in later years that she stayed because of the kids, they might feel guilty. They can also learn that you have look into the future before making a decision.
The truth is the best way to go. Throw the b....... out of the house, I am sure the other women would gladly take him in and his dirty laundry.
Stay friendly, and insist on him taking the children half of the time ( dont want him having to much fun on his own).
When he has to take care of everything, and see that he is only half a man without his wife, might shake him up enough to change, but maybe she does want him back then.
We are all here to learn a lesson. Now its time for him and her sons to learn a lesson. If you piss your wife off to much she might just kick you A.. out of the house. And if you really made a mess, she just might not take you back.
PS: Remeber you are women and you are strong.
2006-11-23 06:10:32 · answer #2 · answered by eidunotno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife should leave this cheating husband.. Either leave of let him find his clothes outside with the door locks changed. He can't be a father to the four boys if he won't even try to be a husband to his wife.
2006-11-23 05:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she could try and work it out.but the problem with that is she would never forget what he has done.she could not trust him,and a relationship without trust isn't much good.every little argument it would be brought up.any ware he went she would be wondering what he was up too.this would be a total nightmare for her.i would tell him u can be a dad too the boys.but as for being a husband he had his chance and he blew it.show him where the door is.hope this helps you and your friend.tell her good luck with what ever she decides.
2006-11-23 07:20:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, at the start, have the decency to speak approximately it along with her. it would be incorrect to basically chop up and in no way communicate it over along with her first. cheating is in no way precise, yet a minimum of supply her the prospect to take care of herself. After listening to her out, you have got a greater effective recognize-how of what to do. that's a no longer hassle-free difficulty with the aid of fact it includes a baby. the baby desires a father, no count number if that guy is you or the real dad is irrelevent. He nevertheless desires a reliable father parent to assist him via existence. If it did no longer contain a toddler, i might pass away in a heartbeat. yet with the aid of fact this occasion WILL impact the baby, you may desire to artwork something out with the mum.
2016-10-04 07:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman DID 2 mean something to the jerk!!!! The boys will learn this behavior and mitght think that it is OK. She should see a new counselor by herself and start fresh and brand new with her boys.
2006-11-23 05:44:18 · answer #6 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should consult God about everything you do and before you do it. If he is still lying and cheating I think he might have and addiction that he needs serious help with and he should seek help now!!!! But if you love your husband It does not matter what anyones says hold on to him. but enough is enough!!! You deserve better and your children .
2006-11-23 05:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by reddogbetsey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for her to consider getting a divorce. Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
2006-11-23 05:45:16 · answer #8 · answered by questioningly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is crap...he doesnt care about the wife he's just scared of loosing her and regretting it...scum bag.
2006-11-23 06:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to run. He is a lier and a cheat. Once this pattern starts it doesn't stop.
2006-11-23 05:43:47 · answer #10 · answered by Merrie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋