Maybe once or twice a year in an argument, he will bruise my arm, or throw something at me. Last time I was in the shower and he kept 'snapping' me with a wet tube sock.
In the heat of it I think "I cant do it anymore" but then I remember how sweet he is and how hed do anything for me.
Guys always beat my mom , but bad, and she could never talk to them about anything or they would get mad, she'd have to walk on eggshells around them. But my relationship is not like that.
Should I leave?
2006-11-23 05:08:23 · 31 answers · asked by roxy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bruising your arm and throwing things at you IS abuse.
2006-11-23 05:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If someone in anger is capable of hitting a female, then its only a matter of time before it escalates. Men should not hit on their wives or girl friends PERIOD.
They are not punching bags and even when you have an argument, talk, yell, do what ever makes you feel better, but don't hit.
You need to leave this guy cause you will find that one day, a bruise will be the least of your troubles. I deal with abuse almost daily in my line of work and I can tell you, no matter how bad the beating, they don't want to leave or press charges cause " they still love them!!!"
Love shouldn't be painful, it should be caring, sharing, holding and spending quality time together without hitting each other. Yes, I have had abused husbands too, not many, but a few.
2006-11-23 13:20:13 · answer #2 · answered by bigmikejones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you will know when it is safe to leave. (If you chose to leave). You do not deserve any type of abuse. There are local support groups, and Battery Intervention Groups in your area. However, it may be difficult to persuade a spouse to attend. Usually, a spouse has to be mandated by the court.
It is proven that Anger Management Classes do not work for abusers. Instead, there are Batterer Intervention Groups that may help the abuser. FACT: Anger Management methods are never appropriate for use with abusers, as they do not accurately reflect the cause of battering. Further, anger management theory suggests that the reason the abuser batters is because he/she has been provoked. It fails to account for premeditation, diffuses responsibility, implies that there is a quick fix, and misrepresents the depth of the problem of the community.
Protect yourself with a safety plan. (Ex: After you are finished viewing the sites on the computer, go to your Internet explorer link, and right mouse click; hit Internet properties and delete temporary Internet files, cookies, and web history. After talking on the phone, call a local business in your area to make your calls untraceable. If he gets the phone bill, all of your calls to domestic abuse hot-lines will not be listed). Attached are some helpful numbers. I am sorry that you are going through this, and it is not your fault.
2006-11-23 14:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by Nut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave and get therapy(for abused women).
Just the fact you are making excuses for him tells me that you are already conditioned to being abused.... abuse is abuse whether it happens daily or once a month --- it doesn't and shouldn't be tolerated! His "sweetness" is the thing that keeps you hopeful he'll stop the abuse.... that's all part of their game.... be real sweet and then abuse and keep repeating the pattern.... You think your relationship is better because you saw your mom being abused differently... it's all abuse and you don't have to live like that, the choice is yours.... just remember, if you have kids they will see what their dad is doing and think that's how couples relate to each other and when they grow up they will seek a mate who abuses and if you have a son he will become a person who abuses.... stop the abuse before it taints another generation.... you're a fine example of how abuse affects another generation - don't subject your future children to that kind of legacy... get out of this relationship ASAP!
2006-11-23 13:54:49 · answer #4 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hits me occasionally but is not 'abusive' should i leave?
What do you think abuse is? If he hits you, its ABUSE, no ifs, ands, or buts. If I was you, I would have left after the first time. There is absolutely no excuse for a man to hit a woman. You can do better than him, but you need to get out of the relationship as soon as you can for yourself. Occasionaly will probably turn into an every day thing. You can find a man that will treat you with the respect you deserve, but you have to take the first step and get out of there.
2006-11-23 13:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He IS abusive to you!! One hit and I would have walked out that door with out batting an eye!!! Don't live the life that your mom did, that is no life. If a man cares anything about you at all he WILL NOT ABUSE you and that means hitting as well. He is not a man period. Get out of there!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, after answering this question I went back and checked out your other posts....is this the same man that is 34 and not married to you and you have only been out on 3 dates with him? What is the real story here now?
2006-11-23 13:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He may not be as bad as some. But he is still abusive. My ex didn't hit, punch or choke me very often. But the threat was always there. Since the divorce I am able to sleep every night without being afraid. You deserve to be safe in your own home. He will probably never change. My advice is to leave and never go back.
2006-11-23 13:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by Beth T 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts? Your relationship will be like your moms were. You can break the cycle. True love does not hurt you and you should realize you are worth more than any guy ever hurting you. You are seeing the things that preceed the full knock out drag down fights, it starts just like this. So leave while you see there is a problem-and you know there is one otherwise you woulndnt have asked.
2006-11-23 13:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by fan_wan :-) 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Leave. He will hurt you really bad one of these days girl. Save yourself . Better not to say a word about it. Just leave. He makes you feel horrible now. Don't allow the physical pain to follow. Like broken bones or a broken neck. It happens more so than what you think. Good luck.
2006-11-23 13:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, This is all up to you. You say you love him him so why not try to make things better? Try to talk to him and let him know that this really hurts you. This maybe all you's two need is to sit down and have a talk about your lives together. I hope that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for both of you.
2006-11-23 13:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes!! Of course you should leave. No person, man or woman should be abuse or abuse in a relationship at any time. Just because it only happens every so often doesn't mean that down the road the frequency won't increase or that it won't be more violent.
It sucks because you love him...but if he really loved you, he wouldn't treat you this way... at any time.
2006-11-23 13:16:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋