We have been dating for a long time. He wanted to go to a show that I couldn't attend because of prior committments. He said that he already had tickets and that he would ask his guy friends if they would go. Anyway, I asked him yesterday about it, and he said that he's going with another girl. Normally, I am not a jealous person, and I usually don't care if a guy has another girlfriend, but a few months ago, he wanted to go away on a weekend trip, but I couldn't go. He got upset and sent an e-mail to another girl (who he says is just his friend) saying that they should go away together because it would be fun. After we talked about it, he said that he was never actually going to go away with her and that it was just because he was disappointed that I couldn't go. But, to me, asking another girl to go away with you seems pretty bad. Also, when we used to fight, after he would go call another girl and talk about us. Do you think that I'm overreacting about all this?
2006-11-23 04:17:29 · 14 answers · asked by isabelle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He is not treating you as first and only. It would be OK if he went with other guys - just - but no way if he goes with another girl (unless you are QUITE sure about her - like she was a sister or cousin or gay).
I think you need to rethink this relationship and probably look for someone who actually wants to be with YOU and not just anyone.
Sorry - language problem: for 'goes with' read 'goes out with!
2006-11-23 04:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by pica_septima 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Your questions are all very valid. But I encourage you not to be upset.
1. it is normal for guys to be friends with women, platonically. It is a far better manner for men to learn about women as people, and helps relationships on the romantic side be stronger and more special.
2. However, the frequency of his asking other girls out does raise a red flag. He doesn't probably see you as his girlfriend, per se. From my outside perspective, it doesn't seem like you are dating. Best to enjoy this as a casual relationship and not expect too much too soon. It could develop later into something deeper, but looks like it is not there yet.
Hope this helps and good luck to you. Keep asking your good questions.
2006-11-23 12:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't put up with his little mind games. He's insecure and can't handle you doing your own thing and he will probably only get worse as the relationship goes on. If you put up with it you're basically telling him it's ok to try to use other women to make you jealous. Conclusion: Dump Him. I wonder how he would like it if you made arrangements to go away with another guy...?
2006-11-23 12:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know from experience (speaking as a guy) that if you can't trust the one your with, then there is not really a basis for the relationship. i put TRUST, COMPROMISE, AND COMMUNICATION FIRST AND FOREMOST in my relationship. if there is no trust it usually doesn't work out, and if you can't communicate....... don't be afraid to confront and face each others feelings. it is important to me to know where i and the person i'm in a relationship stands and how we feel. but i would say that if your relationship has sunk.
2006-11-23 12:31:40 · answer #4 · answered by jeffy6733 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not overreacting at all!
Basically, he's got a substitute girlfriend.
When you're not available (like for that show, or that weekend trip) he calls her in.
I'm sure he's had her "substitute" for you in other activities too..
Basically he's cheating on you and you're perfectly right to be mad with him about that.
Tell him to ditch his substitute girlfriend.
2006-11-23 12:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow his actions are really quite disrespectful. i can see him asking one of his guy friends to accompany him somewhere if you can't go. or maybe even a family member of his. but by asking another female he is fishing for trouble. and it looks like he found it. you are not overreacting. his behavior can lead to cheating if it hasn't already. good luck
2006-11-23 12:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
friendship is not an ordinary matter.u must understand eachother sharing eachothers problems.ordinary excuse is not accepted.u must tell him if he really likes u and understand u and is ready 2 share ur problem.if not forget him as ur all time friend.remember d world is too big and u r not alone.good luck.
2006-11-23 12:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiend , this is not the guy that is sincer and loyal to you and committded to your love , is he is ready to replace you every now and then he might do it permenantly .
2006-11-23 12:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you have to worry about this situation but I think also that you have to tell him about the things that can upset you because you won't support it forever.
2006-11-23 12:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by anyangmaeh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Break-up! Trust me if she can't be patient now and wait for you or repect that you might be busy...imagine if you were in the hospital!
2006-11-23 12:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋