If people know that their sex life is a big deal to them, why don't they make 100% sure that they "jive" with the other person before they get married? I'm tired of hearing about people who stay married but cheat because they're not sexually satisfied.
2006-11-23 04:00:14 · 24 answers · asked by charleston chew 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And if good sex is crucial to you, why get married at all, since there's no guarantee the sex will be good forever?
2006-11-23 04:05:19 · update #1
Because the Christian tenet forbids premarital sex. So you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
Kinda like teaching abstention as the sole means of birth control - so kids have no idea what they're supposed to do when they eventually succumb to their raging hormones (or get drunk).
2006-11-23 04:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because you are sexually compatible when you get married doesn't mean you won't have an affair.
When you are with someone for a long time it can be really easy to fall into a routine when it comes to sex. Many people choose to have an affair to get the "excitement" back instead of putting in a little effort to spice things up at home.
Keeping sex interesting in a long term relationship is possible, but it requires honest communication without judgement. Unfortunately, a lot of folks just aren't willing to work that hard.
2006-11-23 04:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mary L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because sexual compatibility is only possible through relational compatibility. Sexual compatibility is a misconception. It is not an issueby itself. Speak to any expert and they will tell you that two people who have "great sex" will not last more than two years. True great sex comes from communication, humor, love, attention, sacrifice and all the other things that occur in a great relationship. Sex between two people who really love each other is far better than sex between two people who are simply sexually attracted. Though it seems incredible at the moment, the feeling quickly passes.
There's really no such thing as "sexually compatible". It's not like putting a round block in a round whole, though it would seem that way. There's so much that's misunderstood about sex, because of the things that are immediately pleasurable.
2006-11-23 04:10:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rockstar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree about the cheating.
But, on the other hand, no matter how compatible u r sexually, pre-maritally and even way after the marriage, lots of other factors can change that comfortable or ecstatic, if i may say, level of sexual compatibility.
People cheating because they are not sexually satisfied in a marriage, atleast for me, is a lame excuse. If u r committed to ur spouse and even if u r tempted to be unfaithful, u may not do it for the sheer reason that u can't bear to hurt him/her if ever he/she will know about it. As adults, we should know better that we are no longer teenagers who can't blame elevated hormones as the cause for cheating. If one is not satisfied with the marriage, learn to work it out as a couple. If things are ironed out in a marriage, sex will be great.
2006-11-23 04:21:45 · answer #4 · answered by dolphin saver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is caused by neglect in the marriage, it is not a sex thing, you cheat to be close to someone else cause in your marriage you are not getting the closeness you need, some say it is the lack of sex that make them cheat, but it is the day to day, little things that must be kept up with, the hugs, kisses, phone calls just to say hey,
time alone together to connect emotionally and yes sexually. Marriage is a life long relationship and so it takes work for it to last.
2006-11-23 04:20:30 · answer #5 · answered by picture 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, what is it with people thinking that sex is the only part of marriage??? There is ALOT more to marriage than sex. Usually people get married because they love each other, and sex comes from that love. My wife and I are sexually compatible. And she's the 1 woman that God had for me. The reason that people cheat, is because they are thinking only of themselves. They feel that they are not getting what they want, and if they are not getting what they want, they will go elsewhere. Instead of thinking of their partner and their partners feelings, and needs, they think of their own first.
It's really sad because it's something that our society pushes, that you should think of yourself, it's all about you. Well, we need to have a self-less attitude where we put others, especially our spouse before ourselves. If we did that, we wouldn't have the issues with cheating like we do.
2006-11-23 04:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women do cause they are bored with their life style. Others for the thrill of cheating and being able to get away with it..
Men on the other hand do it if their spouses are sick and can't perform anymore and they have a need too take care of. They don't want a divorce they like their life style but want to find out what they are missing out on.
Divorces are caused from a lot of reason not always sex. Most of the time it is used just for the lack of anything else.
2006-11-23 04:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by Angell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i dont know why ppl get married if they start out not sexually compatible. but alot of people when they are in a new relationship they are both highly sexually attracted to each other cant keep there hands off each other kind of thing. but after a while when the relationship grows in to a more serious relationship and kids come theres not as much time or someones looks has changed and there is so many reasons people cheat on there spouses but i think the couple should focus on the problems they are having with out adding more to them. they shouldnt get married if they cant comunicate and work there problems out as a couple. to me marrige is a one time thing if hubby wants out he is gonna have to die first lol j/k but i do feel very strongly about marrige.
2006-11-23 04:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by cute redhead 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes the disatisfaction comes after marriage, and they meet another, and all of a sudden they claim to be disatisfied, think it's just an excuse or way to get out and be with the person they are cheating on, just a way they don't have to take the blame, i believe the cheating comes way before the disatisfaction sometimes.think they meet someone new, and it's exciting, the other person is all over them like we use to be when we first met them, and if they are weak or have a low self worth, they will fall for it everytime.also i think when a person has an affair that we do get compared with the other person, and than our mates say the problem is with us.
2006-11-23 04:11:32 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just means they have fallen out of love with that person... I don't honestly believe that people know what the sex is gonna be like 5 or 10 years down the road and it's always great in the beginning.. Real love is more then sex and those who cheat haven't found that yet... Fear is why people stay...
2006-11-23 04:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Remember Charlotte and Trey on Sex in the City? If you have no sexual chemistry you won't make in marriage. Also sometimes people that want to wait rush to get into the marriage and that's a bad idea. I always thought connecting sex and marriage was stupid. Sex with love yes, meaningless sex no.
2016-03-29 06:47:17 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋