Is spoiling your child wrong?

Question

He is well behaved, i get him mostly everything he want's, he doesn't act like a spoiled brat or anything, i work hard and just like to give him everything he want's but that is within reason.Some people think im doing wrong by getting him most things he want's. Have you spoiled you child at a younger age and regretted it when they were older?

Answer 1

It sounds like you have merely been rewarding your childs good behaviour, and in turn this rewarding is maintaining the good behaviour...I think there are different levels of spoiling a child. For example children who behave like spoiled brats are spoiled to a great extent, in which they are being given what then want exactly when they want it, these children have been given no boundaries and are not grateful for what they are being given. I suppose it is good to not give your child all they want from time to time, as it can teach them that they can't always get their own way. If you feel strongly about what people say observe you childs behaviour when you don't give him what he wants, thats if you have not already tried this. If he makes a great deal about it then, it may prove that spoiling a child in this way is wrong. And perhaps you may feel as though you should buy him a little less of the things he wants.

Answer 2

you get him MOSTLY everything. As long as he is well behaved I don't see the problem, but then again he's your child so why would the opinions of strangers matter in the slightest? It's a nice feeling to give somebody a gift anyway- and you work hard it's your money after all.... I know people who have totally spolied their kids but it's not just material things that spoil a child, it's lack of discipline and not teaching them respect or the value of money etc. Just dont go mad, don't reward bad behaviour either.

Answer 3

Aw! Isn't it hard? You love the child so much, and want him or her to be happy. But material goods don't lead to more than a temporary sort of happiness, and become a craving. Or addiction. Outings might be fun, but are also misleading. How far and wide can you go before your child gets bored and insists on more?
Restraint is more sensible; even children need to learn the pain of suffering and wanting and waiting, otherwise they won't grow up as sympathetic playmates and have little idea of the injustices of others in this world.
A child who grew up spoiled in my times was despised by its peers who had been deprived. Very alienating.
In a perfect world, all children should be spoiled to whatever degree their loving carers can, but this is never going to be a perfect world.
A truly good character can only be enhanced by learning what misery is; and what the opposite to greed is.
Another good lesson is fighting or working hard for what you desire. All ways to strengthen character.
Once your child grows up, they'll be glad of these lessons.

Answer 4

I had 1 girl first...then 5 boys...I spoiled my girl so badly she got to be a real pill. And she thinks too much of herself today.....She is a responsible adult and very independent but is of the notion that she only deserves the best .
I sometimes think she was born with this personality. But I know I let her feel this way and she became selfish.
Don't give them too much..if there are too many toys ask them to bag some up for Goodwill or other less fortunate children. It will turn your child into a compassionate, caring, generous person.

Answer 5

I suppose it depends, I myself have an only child, she's 16 now, I too gave her anything, within my budget, she wanted and what she needed. When you only have 1 child you can usually afford to do this, I don't think its wrong but you do need to teach them the value of money. When I was not at work and went into town, I would tell my daughter before we went that I didn't have much money so please don't ask for anything! She was cool with that. Now I work full-time and she's older I just set limits, eg Birthday present, £150 limit, can get what you want but that's the limit. She's fine with that.

She has pocket money but she has to earn it, eg tidying her room, emptying the trash, polishing furniture etc.

She is now at the age of "name brands" however she's not silly, she would never dream of spending £150 on a pair of jeans etc., not when she can get some for £25 that look just as good!

So its how you bring them up too

Answer 6

Have him earn some of the things he want. Even if he is a good kid, self-reliance is great thing for a child to lean. Create or find a project your kid can do for you this will build his/ her self-esteem. What is important is your child character and his inter-worthiness. When a child is given everything he will lose the value and the intent of why something is given to him. The child will see you as just a provider of all his wants and desires ,and not for the true love you have for him. So the secret is not to give your child every thing. Let him earn some of it, besides eventually in the work world he will have to earn it.

Answer 7

I would say if he is well behaved, then probably spoiling him isn't such a bad thing, but... I would make sure you discipline him anytime he does something wrong. I made the mistake of letting my kids get by with too much, and while they are still young and under the age of 13, its pretty hard to make them mind when they never had to before.

Answer 8

I myself do not have any children but a friend has two that she has treated as you do yours. Well, the oldest, a boy has been in and out of jail for stealing. He has stolen from everyone including his Mother, Grandmother and Step-Father. The youngest, a girl wants for nothing and is 13 and now rules the household (in my opinion, always has). She tells her mother what she is going to do, not what her mother wants her to do.

I know I have no children, but I strongly believe that you can give them too much. I find that is what is wrong with the youth of today - they are too use to having things handed to them and do not understand the word NO or how to work for anything they want.

Answer 9

I dont knock you for wanting the best for your child, just like anybody else does. I am afraid to say that I think some people go OTT and when the child grows into adulthood, they demand a certain standard of living.

I would say its fine provided you dont always give in and make them work for rewards rather than expect it all the time.

Good for you for wanting the best

Answer 10

It's not wrong I can see why you do it ,my son is now 15 and he had everything he wanted but now he's older he doesn't appreciate things. So now I say no to him more but I have only ever bought my kids what I can afford,he's got a younger sister who's 11 and she appreciates everything. But that's just down to her personality.