DOES ANYBODY KNOW? what the best way to get over death is?

Question

i know 'noone gets over it' but my brother commited suiide 18 years ago, i was 13 he was 15 and i always thought i was o.k, but my kids make me realise its no as easy as i thought, my partner has a big family i dont. and i always feel alone lot. we did not always get on there was a lot of serious family problems. but i just feel lost somehow

TO TOM H
ITS NOT ALWAYS easy,,,,ok your the dozy one for being insensitive.
i have been waiting for counselling, on list by time i get seen it will of been 2 years! pathetic

still waiting for the counselling, takes so long to get seen, 2 years nearly now

Answer 1

I had family problems when I was young and I only started having problems in my late 20's. I wouls advise you to speak to you GP and explain what happened if you can. you might need some proper counselling to get out all of your buried feelings concerning you brothers death. It is also a possibilty that you may be suffering from depression and it is a symptom to look back at the past and think that previous problems are affecting you now. Have a think about how you feel about your life now and if you are happy with it. But please speak to your GP and let them help you. Best wishes X

Answer 2

Have you tried any kind of counseling yet?? I just lost my brother last year and it still hurts even today. But when you let the past keep creeping into your present and future life it makes it very hard to get on with your life, I know. You have to come to grips with your feelings inside. Counseling can bring out the parts of you that you keep bedded inside of you since you were little. Does your partners family treat you good?? If your family is small compared to his try letting them take you in as part of theirs. I am adopted and I can say that even as time has gone by the many things in my childhood that were bad and rotten have come to haunt me as an adult, but then again I became strong thru counseling and was able to overcome many of my fears that are held inside since childhood. Give that a try and open up to your partners family as well you might notice that being excepted into his family will fill most of that void your looking for. Hope this helps and good luck

Answer 3

Firstly, I am very sorry about your brother. To lose a family member is extremely difficult to deal with and of course it is not something someone can forget. Dealing with someone committing suicide can be harder than if he died from unforeseen causes because he chose to end his life and it can be very hard for someone to get closure since it will always be a wonder why he did it. With someone who died naturally, you can get closure by convincing yourself that he lived a good life..but someone who decided to end his own life you cannot convince yourself the same. I would say time heals the pain, but there will always be the weight of his death. Just try to think that he is in a better place now, and that you will reunite in the future and all your questions can be answered. Hang in there...again sorry.

Answer 4

The best way is to focus your time and attention into caring for other people, as if they were part of your own family. Soon you will not have time to think of loneliness, and you will have engendered a large base of emotional support from those who love you in return. Each person is unique, and no one will replace your brother. But, there are many people out there who need a friend, and who you could truly sympathize with given the experiences you have had. "Cast your bread upon the waters, and after many days, it will return to you."

Answer 5

I know is hard but you gotta move forward and u have to understand that death is part of life... that our life has a meaning specifically cause there's an end. You just have to make the most of life. My dad died when I was 7, but I always pulled my strength cause I take heart that he's in a better place.

Answer 6

no there is no best way. Everyone grieve in their own time and place. Death is something that a lot of people,have faced already aand everyone deal with it in their own way... its a powerful process. Look at your faith. If you believe that the person is going to a better place, it's easier to understand and cope with. Death is huge, you have to come and understand it in your own way. You haven't resolved the death. I don't think that you have confronted or asked why it happened. You don't know how you are supposed to feel. Have you ever communicated how you felt?
I don't know what to tell you... but i think you have yet to resolve it. Do you know why he committed suiside? do you think you could have done anything to stop it? You didn't know he was going to do it. You couldn't have prevented it from happening. "You can't predict what you don't know."
You are not alone... i think hes with you.

Answer 7

I don't think we are allowed to get over the deaths of those who leave in such ways. My cousin was killed in a drunk driving accident and every time I think of her it makes me so sad. I am sorry for you and I hope you can find some thing to help fill the void.

Answer 8

Sorry, that happen to you.

Surprised; its so affecting after long 18 years!!

DO READ a book called "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. I'm very much sure - IT WILL HELP..

Answer 9

I'm sorry that happened to you.

A lot of time has passed, so time has not seemed to help.

Have you tried grief counseling? Since you were so young you may not have been able to process the death of your brother like you would now.

I would try that, and again, I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

nobody can live upto 110 years. but no wrong in tryin. try ur best to stay fit and strong. say NO to tension and say YES to a happy life. that is the best way to keep of death