Should I stay with my man?

Question

Ive been with him for 2 years+ so far and ive jus found out that im 14 weeks pregnant. Things were fine when we found this out , infact he was over the moon about this, but recently things havent been working out, we've had loads of arguments an i jus cant seem to take him anymore he make me angry. AND BEFORE ANY OF YOU MAKE A DECSION YES I KNOW THAT MY HORMONES ARE ON THE RAGE NOW BUT IM CONVINCED ITS NOT THAT. Shall I stay with him, take a break or leave him?

Answer 1

Stand by your man

Answer 2

One thing that crosses my mind. Did the two of you sit down, and discuss having a baby, or is this a total suprise to him? A lot of young women use getting pregnant to trap a man. I'm not saying this is your case, but if he (in the least bit) feels trapped by this event, then you are in trouble with him as far as having a good relationship. Women know that having a man's baby will give them a lifetime of something in common, and there will always be a bond with this man. This is WRONG, and you should be ashamed of yourself, if this is the case. Do you not know what birth control is? Worst yet, did you lead him to believe you were on bith control? If this is the case, then you can kiss this relationship good-bye. It sounds like this man is choosing to not stay with you, and is looking for a way out. I know this is not what you want to hear, but the facts are the facts. If he wasn't ready for a child, and you sprung this lovely supprise on him, then he will not stay. If this is not the case, then disregard this. Having a baby is a giant step in anyone's life, and I suspect once the realitity of it all sunk in, he is having regrets even before you have this child. I know it takes two to make a baby, but it is up to the woman to get on bith control if she is sexually active. It is your job to make sure you don't become pregnant, but since you already are, then you will have to make the best of the situation. I'm sorry to come down on you so hard, but once you think this thing through, you will see what I am talking about, and understand why the change in his attitude. I hope you will give him some space, and let him know you will do the right thing by him. He ought to be a man, and take care of this child, but too often we have children having children, and no young couple out there is ready for an unplanned pregnancy.
I do wish you all the luck in the world, and hope you can work through this. Get Help, get counseling soon. Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

Your hormones are raging......are you sure - were the capital letters to make the dumb people on here realise you know your own body. he he loved it

my personal opinion would be, stick with your man, try and work through things - if once the baby is born you find things are no better then consider your options.

I dont want to sound patronising - but having a baby is a huge thing for him as well as you. Both of you are probably panicking and concerned and unsure and excited - and a whole bunch of mixed emotions from two sides are bound to clash now and then in the lead up to the birth.

Just give it time - wait till the baby is born and settled and then see how its going

good luck with the baby...hope everything goes ok for you all.

xx

Answer 4

Chantel, first of all - I hope that you are keeping well with the pregnancy, and trying not to let the stress of this get to you. Have you tried to talk to him and weed out the problems? If you have and they are still there, then I suggest you think long and hard about things. It is hard enough having a baby when you are in a relationship, let alone being a single parent.

If you feel that you no longer love him, then maybe it is time to call it quits. Move on with life, instead of punishing yourself like this. It sounds like this is a decision that you do not relish making - talk to you family and mates, they may have some insight into the situation. Most of all, take care of yourself - you are carrying a baby and you must come first in this.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you both.

Answer 5

Things are always going to be tense, although you were both happy about it maybe he is starting to worry about the changes have a child will bring,

The amount of money the fact that you may have to give up work or take a lower wage position

It may not be that he doesn't want it anymore just that he is starting to get a bit stressed so just try and talk about it together see what is bothering him

Answer 6

Well your guys' lives are about to be turned upside down. Having a baby with someone is THE biggest committment in the world, bigger than marriage, bigger than buying a house- you're going to be parents for the rest of your lives. Suddenly he isn't just your boyfriend- he's the father of your child and you will tied to him for the rest of your life- of course you will be evaluating him more critically than ever right now, and every little flaw will be totally amplified.

This is enormous pressure for both of you, however happy you guys may be about the baby, everything is bound to be looking very different right now. There's a lot of thinking and figuring things out. It's scary stuff. You're both going to be on edge and not quite yourselves.

What you need to do is figure out a way to do all this thinking and being scared together. Open up about it. You've got months left to prepare, I really think things will fall into place and be OK eventually.

Otherwise, if the baby comes and you realise you just can't live with him, make the decision fast, before your child is too aware of what's happening.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

Have a break for a while but still keep in contact with him and involve him with the preparation for when the baby comes.

Maybe it's just dawned on him that it's alot of responsibility-i've seen it time and time again.

Sometimes men come and go but if he does leave.DON'T despair and Never stop him from seeing he child if he wants to and NEVER make excuses for him to your child or anyone else.

I really Hope he Fixes up and Looks sharpe because he may be spoilling the best think that could happen to him ever

God Bless and Good luck

Answer 8

if u love him stay with him, u may regret leaving him later on, its hard been pregnant and yes ur hormones are all over, but they sud be settling down now, u have got past 12wks, the real challange will be when the child is born as that puts a huge strain on any relationship, u have got to take time to talk things through and spend time 2gether, but dont throw something away that could be an amazing thing down the line, work on it girl and sort it out

Answer 9

You tell us...would you be better off by yourself, raising a child as a single parent and trying to date in between changing diapers, working and maybe school or social engagements and hearing what a fool you were for chasing away a perfectly good man over some bullshed, etc etc...or would you rather stay and work out your problems and give the family scene a shot? If it doesn't work out, you always have the first choice to fall back on!

Answer 10

If you know your hormones are on the rage as you say, why are you trying to blame him for making you angry? Try to work it out. I'm sure he doesn't understand what's going on inside you. Help him help you. Educate him on how your feeling and what makes you feel that way. One other thing, always stop and think about what the situation just was, why you became mad and what happened to get you there. Hopefully that will help you realize that it might not be him, it might be hormones.

Answer 11

If you feel abused in any why, drop him. If you believe it is the circumstance because of the pregnancy hence the pressure, then give him a break - it is a phase I hope you will overcome. Have a word with him though when both of you are not firing on all cylinders, talk it over during a 'happy moment'.

But, if he abuses you, verbally or physically - quit now!