my dad is dying from complications from enphezima (not eating is one) i'm trying my best to care for him even though the result will be the same, yet i still fell guilty that I should do more. comments?
2006-11-22 22:57:51 · 5 answers · asked by oldguy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry, you got it rough. I don't know where the guilt comes from but it is common. I felt somehow responsible for my sister death in a car wreck at age 25 ,and I was 150 miles away.
I guy I know felt the same way you do and his father was 94. I think your emotions get all displaced or something. Just do the best you can. Good luck.
2006-11-22 23:03:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your feeling guilty about how your taking care of him. I think your feeling guilty about something(s) that may not have been resolved, how you treated him etc., in the past, and now it's too late to make up for it. Believe me I understand where your coming from. My father died in 1998, and I was in a different state. When I moved from living near by, I had to choose between my dying father or my young 9 year old son that was getting in trouble in school etc. My ex called and was having a hard time with him, and talking to him on the phone was useless so I had to move. My thinking was, there isn't much I can do for my dad but I could still keep my son from coming up to be an *sshole. My dad was stable when I left but cancer is never really a stable thing. After I was gone 1 year, my father passed and had started declining immediately after I left. We had planned on going into business together with my younger brother. I still to this day feel like it was my fault he started to decline, and would have gotten better had I stayed. He died almost exactly 1 month before his granddaughter (my second daughter) was born. You are taking care of him, and doing your best. It always feels like your not doing something right, when no matter how hard you try, or how good or bad a job you do, the result will not be good. If there is nothing that can be done to save him, make sure he knows you've been there for him.
2006-11-22 23:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AT the moment you are feeling guilt and when he does pass over it will turn to grief. Do not worry what you are feeling is normal and it would be good to talk to one of the hospital social workers that look after your father for some advice.
One of the actions of grief is anger towards the deceased as people feel why did they go and leave me. This is normal and one of many so seek advice and it wil make it easier for both you and your dad.
The Doc
2006-11-22 23:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel guilty but you shouldn't you are doing the best you can. No matter what you do it will all be the same but all you need to do to be happy is take care of him like you are doing and hopefully you might prolong you dad's life. Just remember you just need hope.
I hope your dad is fine
Bye~Bye
2006-11-23 00:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by Tina D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of people have lots of problems and lots of people who care for them some times do feel guilty.. this is beacuse their is nothing u can do to help his condition improve. yet you want to. you have to try and not feel guilty just think about the things you do do for your dad. xxx
2006-11-22 23:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by sweetchick18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋