2006-11-22 22:35:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am on the other side of the equation. I married a hearing woman. What helped is that she is fluent in sign language. But that does not even everything out. These relationships take a lot of work. Communication is one of the most critical aspects to being human. Yes, it affects our relationship. We do experience life differently. She jumps with sounds. They are not issues for me. Her family, very great people, do not sign, so deeper relationships are blocked. It takes work.
2006-11-23 13:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by kennethmattos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a 2 year relationship with a Deaf man. It wasn't his deafness that eventually ended it, but his mental health issues regarding severe grieving over the loss of his grandmother for over 4 years after her death and his own health issues following an HIV+ diagnosis.
Back to your question, aside from his declining mental health, it was really a wonderful relationship but Deaf/hearing relationships can be a challenge. In my opinion, it is important that the hearing person be fluent in the communication system or language of the Deaf individual. Typically for a "big D" Deaf person (as opposed to a "little d" deaf person) this means American Sign Language but may mean a mixture of ASL and another signed system. Also, the hearing person must realize they are in an equal relationship. I've seen so many D/h relationships where the hearing person is simply a co-dependent and looking for someone to "help" or "take care of" and this is no basis for a healthy relationship. So long as you respect your Deaf partner as an equal in the relationship, and learn about/appreciate his/her culture and language, there's no reason for it not to succeed.
2006-11-24 15:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a deaf guy many years ago. I didn't know any other deaf people at the time. We had issues -- most of which didn't really have much to do with being deaf. He didn't learn any sign until college, and still didn't use it very often. He spoke and read lips and perferred to be called hard of hearing. He had a lot of denial about being deaf -- which was reinforced by his family. (He wasn't allowed to sign at home, etc.) I was often confused by him waiting me to repeat what people said for him and then other times NOT wanting it repeated because he didn't want people to know he was deaf.
The things that affected our relationship... it was hard to communicate sometimes due to misunderstandings with lipreading -- and I was pretty crappy at remembering to face him when talking in the beginning! Using TTY relay was a pain in the butt -- I had too many operators that were not professional and would add in their personal opinions. (Now that I know more, I would report them!! Of course now there is video relay which is sooooo much better!) I know that I had some skewed vision of what I thought a deaf person was like and what they could and couldn't do, so that didn't help!
I did start learning sign, but he expected me to be really good at it really fast and that became a HUGE problem. I know a lot of deaf folks aren't like this, but the relationship dynamic just made it intense.
We broke up over other things, but I continued on learning to sign. I'm go glad I did!! It has changed my life.
2006-11-24 19:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by InterpreterNatalie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had 16+ year relationship with person who was deaf in one ear and couldn't hear out of the other without a very strong earphone. We went five years once without an argument!! The off switch on an earphone is an amazing peacekeeper. (relationship ended in death, not mine, in 1995) There are some peculiar problems, and some unexpected benefits to such a relationship.
2006-11-22 22:42:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did date a deaf guy once. I have to admit using the phone-relay system was very time consuming at times, and at times the subtle meanings in the way something is said was lost to the actual words. However,the facial expression and body language usage usually made up for this.
2006-11-22 22:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by onionheadinvancouver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No so long as you can use basic signs you will be OK
2006-11-22 22:39:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry never had
2006-11-22 22:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by geez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
==========================================================
If you are single and have the time, please visit my site:
http://www.**************/go3.php
2006-11-22 22:55:54 · answer #8 · answered by dana brown 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋