i am 10 weeks pregnant not planned, i have been with my patner nearly 3 years, i asked him last christmas to marry me. he said yes but not to soon, every time i even talk about getting married he changes the subject, i have tryed to talk to him but he does not say much he is not the talkin type... he has been married before to a total *****. so maybe thats why he dont want to get married yet... he is just happy plodding along as we are. what do i do? i wanted to be marryed before we have this baby but its not looking likely why?
2006-11-22 22:07:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds like a no. You have been having sex with him, probably living with him - he has no need to get married; you are giving him all that he wants and he is totally comfortable. Talk to him again, and get married before the baby comes!
2006-11-22 22:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am defiantly no expert on this kind of stuff being I'm only sixteen.but if you can't talk to each other about stuff like marriage. you have some problems. you need to start off by figuring out why he won't talk to you about it. maybe he is overwhelmed with the unexpected baby and now another marriage? you've been together pretty long. here is what i think. if he doesn't want to get married before having the baby stay with him and maybe after you have the baby you can get married, you'll be able to fit in a wedding dress better:P and your baby would look adorable in a dress or tuxedo. but if he doesn't plan on getting married to you at all leave him and take him up on child support! I'm sure their would be someone out there who is willing to be a good husband and step father (:
2006-11-22 22:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is saying that he's not ready then no amount of talking is going to get him to change his mind. He's obviously scared and although he loves you he's just not ready. think that you need to sit down with him and tell him that you want to get married to him not only because you love him, but because he is the one you want to be with and you want to get married before you have the baby. If he still changes the subject then you may have to face the reality that this is a man that you will not end up going down an aisle with.
Also the other thing you have to be careful of is, if you do get married and it doesn't work out, he might blame you and say that you forced him into it. So that is something else to bear in mind
2006-11-22 23:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one. Does he know that you want the baby in wedlock? Maybe drive that point home instead of focusing on the actual wedding/marriage bit - put the focus on the baby's future.
Really though (I hope this doesn't hurt) but he shouldn't have said yes if he was still having issues about his past marriage - that's not fair on you. It could be that he said yes to make sure you stick around but he's not really ready for the whole commitment?
If he won't talk, write him a letter or something. This is important to you and if you're going to be married you need to be able to communicate. You need to get your point across to him and get the ball in his court so you know where you stand.
2006-11-22 22:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by BluLettice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, i'm not trying to be a prick, but asking complete strangers will not get you an answer. you need to go and talk to a guy. if i found out my girlfriend was asking complete strangers on the net if i was going to marry her and asking for advice, believe you me, i wouldn't be happy. Cook a nice dinner and tell him what's on your mind. Even though you asked him a while back, he probably is not thinking about it, but you are obbsessing each and every day.
Good Luck!
2006-11-22 22:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by zaitsev_v1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't look like he wants the responsibility of a marriage. Since he won't discuss things with you, it doesn't look like he wants you very much either. He's been getting what he wants from you and now he's getting more than he bargained for. WHY HAVE YOU STAYED IN THIS DEAD END RELATIONSHIP??? AND WHY DID YOU NOT PREVENT THIS PREGNANCY???? His ex may have been a total ***** but he doesn't come across as much of a prize either.
2006-11-22 23:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that he will marry you. I would start looking into being a single mother. He wants to be a child, not have the responcibility of a wife and child.
2006-11-23 09:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by ebrinkleywc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it but dont nag or gripe or make him feel like he is doing something wrong. Ask him if he wants to marry you tell him you dont want to make him do anything he does not want to and that he can be honest with you.
2006-11-22 22:11:39 · answer #8 · answered by faithwalker_1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R U crazy?? If you had to ask him to marry you, then the answer is NO. He doesn't want to get married again.
2006-11-23 01:17:57 · answer #9 · answered by DeniseT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him straight...but prepare to be a single mother.
2006-11-22 22:09:35 · answer #10 · answered by saumitra s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋