How do I comfort a child who has received poor PSLE results?

Question

How can I console him while letting him see he shouldn't be satisfied with failure?

PSLE is an exam in Singapore, folks.

Answer 1

Most answers seem to focus on the child and how to console him. However, a child around this age still takes his cue from his parents/adults.

The first thing is to ask "What has been my expectation of him?", "Did my words or body language communicate my disappointment toward him?" For example, you have mentioned "poor". This is subjective. To you, it could be "poor" but to him, it could be "I've tried my best!".

At this point in time, consoling him would not be of much use if, in your heart, you still hold the idea that his results are "poor".

Having checked your own feelings, now affirm him that you accept his results, even when he has failed! If you can honestly tell yourself deep inside that a single exam result is not the end of the world for either of you, than look at him in the eyes, hold his hands, smile and say in your most reassuring tone, "It's OK" and give him a hug.

What you have just done is to bond with the child and gain his trust first with 2 words, "It's OK" and a smile. This would mean more than a whole lot of motivational words and lecture.

Once done, cool off. Some time later, wait for a "teachable moment" where you can sit and talk about areas of improvement. He will be more receptive of your words then.

It may be tough to do but its worth trying - my boy got his results today, too.

Answer 2

Hi i'm from singapore and have completed my PSLE a few years ago. I am not an expert on how to console people but please try this method out.

Tell the child that PSLE is just a minor stepping stone to future, bigger and better paths. Not doing well in the PSLE should not hinder him/ her from pursuing a better future.

I have many friends who did badly in the PSLE. I'll give you an example. I have this friend by the name of Yuan Xin. Now she is a very bright girl. However, she did not work hard with the resources she was given. She was of Express calibre but was posted into a neighbourhood school into the Normal (Technical) Stream. However, within this year, she has worked very hard and has topped the level at that school. She has also been offered the chance to promote into Sec 2 Normal (Academic).

Now, since I do not know the nature of this child and how 'badly' her results was, there is always one thing you can be sure of. There will always be somebody worse off then the child. Just know to work harder for what he/she wants in the future so he/she will not be disappointed by lousy results again.

I wish you luck in trying to comfort this child. All the best.

Regards,
Lynn

Answer 3

Well,PSLE only determines which secondary school the child is going to,not the future.A bad psle result doesnt mean a bad o level result.Many students also did pretty well in o level despite their poor psle result.Failure is the mother of success.Take this as one of the setback of life.There are many rocks in life.If one is faltered and smashed by only the first one,how to go to work in the society?You should try to move it aside.The child can also strive harder in the o level to show that poor psle graduator can also be a successful o level graduate.

Answer 4

You first have to ensure him that failure isn't everything.
Ask him whether he has done his best or whether there was anything affecting his studies.
Help him find out what caused his poor results and encourage him to work on those factors.
Show him that failure helps to pinpoint problems in his approach which will help him do better next time.
Maybe you can tell him a success story of someone who did poorly in PSLE but did very well in the "O" levels?

Answer 5

I am a child who had just collected my results today. My PSLE results are okay but you can tell the child that he has tried his best and failures are normal through life failing his PSLE does not mean that he would not succeed in life.

Answer 6

Move on. Know and understand the character of the child. Let the child learn to accept failure but not defeat. Find out what went wrong in his performance - cognitive? confidence? or just things didn't go the way it should on the day of exam. Take this as an opportunity to allow yourself and child to evaluate your individual roles in getting his/her development right. Exam results are not everything, it is the development process that matters most - that makes the child a winner in life.
In the meantime, some chocolates and ice-cream may be good for comforting!

Answer 7

well,i din do really good in my PSLE as well.most importantly you have to let him know tt there's no use crying over spilt milk.i know it may seem a bit too harsh.but try to let him understand this first.you can also talk to him in private and ask him if there are any problems he faced during his study/any subjects he has problem in and try to help him improve.and also you may want to tell him this:an exam is like a race.in a race,there must be a person first and last to reach the finishing line.however,no-one is a loser if he tries.a person only loses when he gives up.and in order nt to give up,he shd keep trying,continuing to train and prepare well for the next race so that he will improve.
he should also not pit himself against others but to use his past results to create a borderline/target so that it wont be so upsetting for him.
you may also want to tell him that he's doin all tis for himself and nobody else.and that his future is all in his hands.he could just sit there and cry about his results,blame people for his results or he could have an enjoyable holiday for now,and when his new school life begins,learn from his previous mistakes and correct them.HE HAS THE POWER TO CHOOSE!!but at the same time,he should not stress himself too mush as stress only reverses the effects.also,try to let him get realy interested in a subject by applying it to his life and suroundings once he have learnt something.i personally feel that science is a really good subject to start with.i am nt asking you to make him tell you everything he has learnt but to be really comfortable telling you about his school-work automatically or to share with you his newly-gained knowledge : )

i really hope this helps.send my regards to that person.try to motivate him as much as you can(",)

rmb: no-one is a loser if he tries!!

Answer 8

Ahhhh!!!...been there done that!!...Failing exams that is......
From my "personal" experience, I feel that failing an exam is just like stepping on a bad patch of mud while crossing a field . Failing to do so results in really soiled shoes. But the Best thing is you can always buy new shoes(retake the test)!! You don't have to carry on wearing the 'soiled shoe' for the rest of your life! And having the support of parents especially when the child is down is really really important. I mean the world is an 'evil' place when you are down and nearly out. So if you reach home only to be put further down.....it's just not rite....Will drive the child to contemplate various ways to kill himself/herself......I remember coming up with several dozen ways to vanish myself from this world. Remember mud will clean off but hurt will remain indefinately. Does the last sentence even make sense? I hope everything does as I just sustained partial fingerprint lost due to all this typing!!
(p.s. Tell your kid to try and try again and never give up and than stuff him into a luggage and bring him to a 3rd World country for vacation so that he can see/understand life without education etc...)

Answer 9

You first have to ensure him that failure isn't everything.
Ask him whether he has done his best or whether there was anything affecting his studies.
Help him find out what caused his poor results and encourage him to work on those factors.
Show him that failure helps to pinpoint problems in his approach which will help him do better next time.
Maybe you can tell him a success story of someone who did poorly in PSLE but did very well in the "O" levels?

Answer 10

What is PSLE?
you might want to look at this a little differently, if he needs consoling, he obviously isn't satisfied with the failure.

I'll assume this is your child and say this. give him your love and support. don't think less of him for not preforming well, but offer to help him improve. try to find ways for him to have fun learning.