i was talking to my friend today and i found out that he likes me alot. but apparently he didnt have the courage to ask me out till now. i asked him why and he said that he never thought that he was good enough for me. i am so confused. why do people always think that they arent good enough for others?? why do guys always use that as an excuse??
2006-11-22 18:54:26 · 21 answers · asked by oksana_a666 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think it's an excuse, but a lack of confidence. Maybe he was worried that not only would you reject him if he asked you out, but that he may also lose you as a friend. I hope you were kind to him!
2006-11-22 18:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is something to shock a few people: Its not an excuse, it appears to be the truth, as this is common. It is a confidence issue with him, but also a rejeciton avoidance action on his part. Most men, do not handle rejection very well, and putting themselves in a spot where the potential of the unknown, and becoming rejected is very unpleasant. So its a defensive mechanism. Also consider that maybe the poor fellow hasnt had much in the way of luck with the opposite gender, and that can play into it as well. Men and women communicate differently, and sadly not many are taught on understanding the communication difference, so messages sent by one gender are not always picked up by another, or can be confusing and sometimes misunderstood for something completely different. I am sure he does like you, but to him you are difficult to attain your interest in him, as he may not receive the "green to go" signals that are sent.
2006-11-23 03:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kris p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a fear of rejection.
Insecurity... people need to worry less about what other people think..
i dont think its an excuse, theres a good chance its the truth...
the same thing happened to me with the girl i`m seeing right now..
she asked why i didnt talk to her sooner, and my response was that i thought she would have nothing to do with me...
people focus too much on looks nowadays..
"we`ve got just one life "
2006-11-23 02:59:34 · answer #3 · answered by One_Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly its not intended (at least not in general to my knowledge) as an excuse.
Its an honest feeling that another person is above them in some way, out of reach.
There is a phrase about 'putting someone on a pedestal', and it is often true.
In addition many people suffer from low self esteem for various reasons.
Its a pity really, as I think a lot of potentially great relationships end this way, before they even have a chance to begin.
-dh
2006-11-23 02:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe that's not an excuse. Some ARE shy and fear rejection. You know....he's got to be "the man" and feel in control. If he's rejected when making a pass...control goes out the window!
Comfort him...he finally made the move and you didn't reject him. You two are good to go and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
2006-11-23 02:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by BadBill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do it, and my friends do it a lot too, its because the only thing the guy can think about is how there is always some other guy that could be with you. doesnt matter if he's better or not its just the fact that there is another guy that can be with you, and that there are so many guys everywhere, why would she choose me?
its because girls can get any guy they want most of the time. honestly, as long as they are attractive, they can get whatever guy they want as long as they act the right way. they can trick a guy into going out w/ her if she wants. that doesnt work w/ guys. guys cant just go around tricking girls into going out w/ them, its never like that. this is why guys are afraid of stepping up because its up to the girl, and there are a lot of guys out there
2006-11-23 02:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by 63godtoh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where the hell was your "courage".
Whats your "excuse".
Why didnt you get off your smug butt and ask him out?
I hate it when chicks act like this.
First to put someone down but the last to actually make things happen.
Stop criticizing and You make things happen and take the risks for a change.
He's a human being for goodness sakes.
2006-11-23 03:15:02 · answer #7 · answered by Its me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys use that as an excuse because they don't like to share their feelings because it makes them feel helpless and they always use that excuse because it seems like it is so sweet but after you hear it from every guy it is not so sweet any more.
2006-11-23 03:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by Samantha M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree wif rebecca. That is not an excuse. He might have weight the probability of losing you as a fren. Because to him, your presence meant eveything. Guys said dat because they think that girls wanted some guys who are way better than average. But we guys are blinded by the fact that girls judge us by our character but not on appearance.
2006-11-23 02:59:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody likes rejection so we do whatever we have to, to avoid it!Even tho we like somebody, we are afraid to tell them that because we are afraid that they might respond with, "well sorry but I don't like you, at least not that way!" So we don't say anything and later could kick ourselves for not saying anything when we find out that the other person likes us that way too! It's human nature to protect ourselves from hurt, emotionally or physically. *hugs* JAC<
2006-11-23 03:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by jackaboo007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋