I recently met my birth mother?

Question

for the first time and I'm not sure how much to believe... She kept contradicting herself as the meeting progressed. So I'm asking this question since I'm not sure if she was honest with me. She told me that my biological father is Italian(but she couldnt remember his name). I dont recall ever having met or seen a person of Italian descent that has naturally red hair. Is is possible and I havent seen it or what? My adopted family thinks she's just lying to me.

since the meeting i have cut contact with her. In my question, ..her lying isnt really the issue..I was just curious about Italians having red hair. I was mostly giving background on my question.

yes I did surprise her..and myself as well. I just dialed info for the last city my family knew her to be in and the only listing ended up being her, The meeting was her idea. somepeople that have answered seem to think automatically that I was rude and such. or that I should overlook the way she wasnt telling the truth...in my life honesty and strenght of character are very important in the people that i choose to be around. im not comfortable around people I cant trust. And No, there was no horrible drama as to why she gave us(my sister and me) up. She herself said she was too young and carefree to raise 2 small girls . She didnt realize that her children are supposed to be number one in her life.

Answer 1

Wow, it has to be so interesting to find out about family, especially since they don't feel like family. However in response to your question about the honesty, she may not be 100% sure who your dad is. But if she is saying that he is a red headed Italian, that is totally possible, and he is most likely from Northern Italy.

Here is a clip from a study done on the decent of Italians...

. . . we should not neglect the researches of Woltmann (1905). Woltmann studied portrait paintings, busts and written descriptions, to ascertain the physical features of the great men of the Italian Renaissance. He revealed that many of the individuals in question, such as Leonardo da Vinci, Tasso, Galileo, etc., were of Germanic descent, and that they possessed Nordic racial characteristics. The results of his investigations, were as follows: of the 125 men whose eye colour could be discerned, 102 had blue, blue-grey or blue-green eyes; 18 had brown or brown-grey eyes; and 5 had eyes of mixed pigmentation. Of the 108 men whose hair colour could be accurately determined, 68 had blond or red hair; 26 had brown hair; and 14 had black hair. [Woltmann (1905) 143-144.] Woltmann also discovered that most of the noble families who ruled over much of Northern Italy, produced blond individuals throughout their generations. Such families as the d’Este of Ferrara, the Bentivoglia of Bologna and the Sforza of Milan, were all largely blond-haired and blue-eyed. [Woltmann (1905) 42-49.]

Answer 2

She may not be proud of what happen in the past, and maybe she doesn't want to tell you.
I don't know how old you are, but something happened before you were born that caused some major difficulties in you birth mothers life. Give her a break, spend time with her if you want to, just don't pay a lot of attention to what she says. I have known my birth mother all my life, and I still don't believe most of what she tells me. I still show her respect, and I don't question the things she tells me. I just listen, then go on with my life.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to hear you and your birth mom have a good relationship, but if you feel you can't, don't beat yourself up over it.
It sounds like you have a wonderful adopted family. Be happy you have someone who cares for you and who is willing to be honest with you.

Answer 3

It depends which part of Italy he or his family come from. The North Italians are often blond and blue eyed, even red heads are not that uncommon in the Nord. People in the South are more brown eyed with brown hair and slightly darker skin tone.

Answer 4

I have seen Italians with red hair so she could be telling the truth. Does it really matter, either you trust her or you dont. Either you give her a chance or you dont. Just be careful, she may not turn out to be who you think she is.

Answer 5

I'm half italian,and have red or auburn hair,and other relitives have alot of red highlights,what is your moms nationally, also your bio-mom says your bio-dad is italian, well maybe he also has some other nationalaity in him as well, and she just dosen't know it, just because she seems untruthful, does not mean she is, she probally was very nervous.....

Answer 6

Really,

I met my birth mother just a few years back and she couldn't tell me whether or not she knew my father's name even. Don't worry about the hair color, because that isn't the issue.

Answer 7

maybe she doesnt know who the dad is, ,did you find out why she put you up for adoption? im adopted too, i found my bm,talked to her on the phone twice, but she wants nothing to do with me..wont even send me a pic....
when you talked to your bm, did you surprise her? maybe she just needs to get over the shock of your finding her..personaly, i wouldnt cut ties, just take it slower

Answer 8

OK just keep asking questions