I brought her a free-range organic turkey from Whole Foods. I sprinkled in ex-lax into the stuffing tray. I won't be there tomorrow because her family hates me. Her mother complains that I drink too much and knows about my porn tapes.
I want to clear them out of the apartment so I can go over later tomorrow, have some beers, watch TV and nail her.
My stupid girlfriend told the mother I owe her money and that I slapped her around. I slapped her around a few times only when she was nagging me for the money I owe her. Should I just dump her before Christmas to avoid getting a gift? I want to do her as long as possible.
I was thinking of dumping her on Christmas eve. Or I was going to buy her a counterfeit handbag on Canal street and keep her around until New Years. ?
2006-11-22 15:24:43 · 15 answers · asked by everyyoungwomansdream 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your a scum bag!
2006-11-22 15:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by Tim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seems like your crying for help because you know you're such a loser or you're drunk when you wrote this and are having some fun.
I recommend you be nice to your girlfriend, pay back the money, and dump her before Christmas before she dumps you.
Oh BTW, sprinkling EX-LAX into the stuffing tray won't make them go diarrhea because you need a LOT of EX-LAX to make that happen. At best, you'll make them have a really nice crap. I know because I tried when I was like 10 years old!
Besides your story has soo many holes. You probably couldn't afford a free-range organic turkey if you were borrowing money from her. And knock-offs still cost around 20 bucks, so you probably can't afford that either!
Have fun!
2006-11-22 15:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by Bryan 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need the system cleaner of champions: Colon Blow! Notes: 1. Take a day off 2. NEVER be more than 11 steps from the toilet! 12 is one to many (very messy) 3. Have reliable plumbing (good, hungry gobbling ability) 4. Have a toilet snake handy 5. Stock up on: reading material and good toilet paper 6. Keep hydrated 7. Keep air fresheners handy 8. Be prepared to be amazed (keep digital camera handy) 9. Invest in padded toilet seat (you'll be on it most of the day) 10. Carry fresh underware on your person at all times! Trust me, IT WILL CLEAN YOU OUT!
2016-05-22 20:25:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOSHE SHOULD DUMP U ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!**DON'T U EVER SLAP A WOMEN AROUND!! 1 WAY TICKET 2 HELL U BASTARD!I CAN'T BELIEVE U HAVE THE GUTS 2 POST THIS QUESTION!! OF COURSE SHE S THE STUPID 1 WHO STAYED W/ U!! SHE MUST HAVE LOW SELF OF STEAM!AND THE EX-LAX THING...WELL THATS RUDE!!!!!BUT, IF U INSIST ON BEING A JACKASS DEMON FROM HELL BEATING A WOMAN THAN JUST GET OFF UR LAZY *** AND PAY HER BACK!! DO U EVEN HAVE A JOB??DON'T DUMP HER ON C-MAS DO IT 2MORROW OR THE NEXT DAY!!U BETTER PAY HER BACK!! IF U OWE SOME1 MORE THAN 20$ THEY CAN TAKE U 2 COURT....AND WOULDN'T U HITTING HER MAKE 4 A JAIL SENTENCE... OH! I THINK SO!! MAY THE LORD 4GIVE UR SOUL AFTER CENTURYS IN HELL!!
2006-11-22 15:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by IWasASoccerFanB4TheWorldCup*USA* 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to grow up. You should do her a favor, dump her now, maybe she will find someone that's not a *** before Christmas.
2006-11-22 15:34:22 · answer #5 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THREE LETTERS FOR YOU: WTF. You better hope that they trace it back to you. And hitting a women means your less of a man to start. This is almost dam funny LOL. You should pack up and run, cause her family just might find you, and sit around and beat or better slap your azz around. Get help dude.
2006-11-22 15:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by J J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you answered your own question. She probably won't be your girlfriend after tomorrow so you better hope you get her while you can
2006-11-22 15:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by sxyalmond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what was the question Mr. W. Clinton?
2006-11-22 15:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by nonlinear_systems 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How many orphanages have you burned down?
2006-11-22 15:29:29 · answer #9 · answered by terry t 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a real charmer
2006-11-22 15:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by Clarkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats nice
2006-11-22 15:26:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋