How to get over being obsessed with a man?

Question

I am crying all the time. I want this man. I had him for about a year and I am not sure what went wrong. We remain friends - it is like I need him in my life. I have aniexty attacks when thinking about him and his new girlfriend. I wonder why I was not good enough. I have lost alot of weight. I can't sleep some nights all I think about is him and this woman. It is unbelievable, I have never felt like this before. It is almost like I am loosing control of my life. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and just cry. I don't know how to let go. When I try it feels like the end of the world. I do take Wellbutrin and I have compulsive obsessive disorder and I suffer from depression. In the past I have been able to handle tuff situations, life failed relationships, but this one will just not go away. Why? What should I do? Help please.

Answer 1

go see a therapist and talk about this u have a serioius problem, i been where u were at, i was in college i started working out hanging out with friends and family and talking about it did help i write have alwayz been able to get it out in writing. journaling will help, but u need to get in and see a shrink, ur dr can refer u2 one. talk to someone. u also need to cut ties with him all 2 gether for your health and sanity, lots of people have been where ur at at one time or another u need to focus on you right now no one else. i know its hard 1 day at a time when u find yourself focusing on him and his gf think of something else, go work out call a good friend, call on god. get your mind off of them and let go just let go and move on its hard but does get easier with time.if u need to talk email me [e-mail] same im or its under cj. impt thing talk to someone and journal how u feel and all thats going on it will help.lol.

Answer 2

You'll be fine. He's gone. History. Face it. You're not the first or last that will leave this. Face it. Just think, that YOU ARE SUFFERING and he ISN'T. He's having fun out there and you're crying your eyeballs out. Is that RIGHT???? NO IT ISN'T. It's not fair at all. So put yourself together and look around you, the world hasn't end and it won't end just because of that. There are so MANY MORE AND BETTER GUYS THAN THAT ONE. You're wasting your life. You're there feeling sorry for yourself while he's having fun with the girl. If he isn't suffering then why should you???? Life is greater than this relationship. Life is beautiful, hard but beautiful and you're wasting valuable time thinking of him. Let him go, it's not easy but try to do something else, go shopping, go out with friends, read, go to the movies and live your life as good as he is living his. He's not losing anything you are. He's not crying you are. So just stop. Cause you'll realize sooner or later that doesn't matter how much you cry things are sometimes not for us, so you'll have to wait. The right one will get to you one day. So make sure you'll look pretty tomorrow cause it might get to you tomorrow, who knows???

Answer 3

I have felt this way recently. The guy I was involved with I really loved him. I could never do anything right lately, I was alway wrong. The only time he was happy was when I was doing something to help him out. I cried and I cried I couldn't even hear his name or talk to him without breaking down. This kind of thing never happened to me, I was afraid that I was losing my mind. So I went to see my doctor and told him what was going on. He did some tests and found that my system was all a mess. He put me on medication that has helped but I keep telling myself that it takes two people for a relationship to go wrong. He always put the blame on me. I am angry with him now but I can control it and yes there are still times when my heart still flutters a bit. It will get better but the older you get the longer it takes I think

Answer 4

I understand well what you are going through, I have been facing the same problem too (but I might be in better situation than you, I'm not suffering like you do). I kept saying to mayself that I wanted my man back. I was looking through his space and almost died to see his new pictures taken with the new girl happily,etc.

What I'm doing is thinking more about myself and feel the love you got from other people that come in different forms. I know it's extremely difficult at the beginning. I must admit that now (it's been 3-4 months ago) I'm still obsessed about him and thinking of him a lot, but it's much less than before.

The best way is thinking about youself because this is your life (I'm telling myself as well). No one can steal it from you. You can't control people's minds, even yours too. So you should think how to get the best thing to your life. I'm sure what you are doing is not the best way. It's not very healthy at all. You must keep telling youself that you deserve better. The man who doesn't waste his time on you, you shouldn't waste your time for him. The man who loves other girl doesn't deserve your love, believe me.

Anyway, I hope you love yourself best and wish you all luck. No one takes care our heart best than ourselves. Good Luck

Answer 5

First off I just want to say how sorry I am to hear about your story. I have been where you are. Exept there was no other woman. He didn`t leave me for anyone, he just left me.
This may sound stupid and I apologize but: You just need TIME. Believe me when I say that it WILL pass and get better....but you have to LET it pass and get better. You are strong. Stronger than you think. Something awful has happened and it may seem like it doesn`t make any sense now. But everything happens for a reason. You are either NOT meant to be with this man OR not meant to be with him at this time. Start living your life again! There is so much to love out there! Good luck with everything.

Answer 6

well somethings in life aren't perfect and crying won't help true that's how love makes you feel but learn since you loved him doesn't make him perfect and he could have been cheating on you all the time you might not have realized this love makes you disregard his bad conduct. if the relationship ended in just a snap there must have been some lie to it as this will come down on him hard too. he can't just pac-up and say what the f@uk i am leaving ...impossible. learn from me i liked this girl at school so much i would think off her all night and my grades went down and next thing i know she said i would rather be a lesbian so what does this teach you there are good and evil people camouflaged in this world so take time to love and life goes on forget about him

Answer 7

First of all you probably would be better off with not being friends with him anymore. I mean if you honestly think about it, you are only remaining friends with him in the hopes that he will one day change his mind and want to be with you again...If that is going to happen, it's not going to happen this way. You have to cut off all ties with him and start from there. Him being around as a friend is only hindering your healing process. Believe me, I know. You want to keep him as a friend just to have him in your life in some way, shape or form, but that's not going to work.
Once you cut off ties with him, then you will begin to heal. You have to understand that you can't make him want to be with you. He has moved on and now it's time for you to do the same. If you guys are meant to be together (which I'm sure you feel is the case) then it will happen. But in the meantime, you have to take care of you. No man wants a woman that is going to totally break down because he walked away.
So cut off your ties with him and begin your healing process. No one said it was going to be easy. It's going to get harder before it gets easier. No one likes change. He's what you are used to and accustomed to. Now you have to change all that. It's easier just to mope. You have to be stronger than that.
I've been thru the same stuff with some exes of mine and I'm also on an anti-depressesant so believe me, I know exactly how you feel. But your life is not over.
Take care of yourself.

Answer 8

Make new friends and keep busy. If you are just sitting home and only thinking about him then you will continue to be miserable. Keep him as a friend but look else where for a boyfriend. There are lots of other fish in the sea of love.
Don't say any thing about how you feel or he may just quit being your friend.

Answer 9

Try to stay busy. Don't sit at home and think of him. Visit family, friends, and others. Volunteeer to help others...that will take your mind off of your troubles. If all else fails...do like when a dog gets run over...go out and get a new one. good luck

Answer 10

I would try to go to a therapist and surround yourself with friends and people who care about you also try to stay busy so you have your mind on other things you need to find things you enjoy to keep your mind off him like painting or a good book get a pet anything to keep your mind occupied good luck