I am dating this girl who just broke up with her boyfriend not to long ago. She claims she likes me and quite frankly I like her too. We've kissed and had sex. She thinks she could she herself long with me. What the hell is going on? Could I be the rebound guy or is she have feelings for me now? Her sleeping with me, what does that mean? I am a novice at these things. Does she really care about me? Help please help. God I wish I know what to do. She said that she wants to use this thanksgiving break to clear her mind as to see how we can proceed from there and clearing her mind of her Ex BF.
2006-11-22 11:43:33 · 33 answers · asked by hey101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You could be the rebound but that could be a good thing. Be this to her: Be stability, be loving, be what she needs in your reality. Love her. I know a man who was rebounding and he married a woman and they've stayed married for 25 years. But who knows. You need to find out by asking her and say it won't hurt your feelings if she tells you the truth but if it will hurt you too much to find out are you willing to find out the hard way later. Do you love her? Then tell her. If she is honest and feels the same way it could be beautiful. She may need more time. She may be a real love. Enjoy your time with her and help her with her emotional problems. Don't let your insecurites get in the way unless they will come up later in a bigger form. What is important to you is important in general. but does she really need to know it? What do you need from her? Does she give you everything you need? What if she leaves you for the ex. Find out all this tell her you dont want to make yourself vulnerable to her if she will just leave you for the ex. tell her that would be ****** up. and how would she like it if you did that to her. see what she says. if she loves you she needs you to move on and shes hurt. shes coming to you for help. tell her you are serious about her you dont' want to just be her rebound you want to be her love. tell her you would rather that she take time off to get over her ex then to impulsively get with you. tell her you will be there for her as a friend but if you do that you may not stay her lover and she may move on to someone else. weigh the decision accordingly. good luck and good luck in love period. I'm helping my friend with her love problems shes in love with a girl in texas and we are in cali and she will take time off work to prove she loves the girl because she believes in love. the girl loves her but she got with someone else when my friend got with someone else here waiting for that girl to come here cuz she said she would move her. it's complicated but your situation is not the first nor the last so know you're not alone. if she wants to be with you she will. :-) Oh also tell her that you don't mind if you don't have sex. You would like to just cuddle if she would if not tell her youre versatile and you can do either. cuz she just may be drowning out her feelings in sex. Do you feel used? I think you honestly feel used. if you do. everyone uses everyone else. what would you want from her? More emotional love, more talking? Then ask her for what it is you really want. then it will be more of a fair trade. Don't let your feelings get hurt ok. We care about our yahoo questioning buddies!
2006-11-22 12:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by stranger 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depending on how long after her break up you two started dating you may be a rebound guy. Also take into consideration how quickly she was wanting sex and all that. Was it a semi-normal amount of time? The truth of the matter is that girls feel the most unattractive right after a break-up and any male attention they can get they usually go for. Sometimes they end up going for someone and developing the feelings that should have been there from the start later on. So give her a chance to think things through over the break and see where it goes. Good luck and I hope it works out for you!
2006-11-22 12:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kalli 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is using u to get over her boyfriend, doesnt mean she doesnt like you, she could still like you though, its up to you if you mind or not being the one she uses to get over it, if u dont care, then go ahead, enjoy it. But if you feel your just the rebound guy shes using to get over someone, then thats not really a good feeling to have in a relationship with someone you love.
Do u love her?????
If ur really stuck on what to do, its best if you take a 'break' then wait a few weeks until she can get over him without using you, then once she is over him, see if she wants you back-
Because if she does it will be cos she loves you, and if she doesnt, then she has no need for you anymore and she only used u.
Ofcourse you can act like friends during this 'break' but nothing more.
Also it kinda seems like shes in control of the relationship
'wants to clear her mind as to see how we can proceed from there and clearing HER mind of her ex boyf'
What about your mind! You need to clear urs too.
Goodluck, hope this helped")
2006-11-22 12:43:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure, but she *might* be sleeping with you to 'get back' at her boyfriend. What are the REAL details of the breakup? Did she break up with him because he cheated on her? There may be an ulterior motive, or you might be the rebound guy or she may like you, time will tell. Try not to get emotionally involved with her (sex is fine, but don't get that puppy love thing going), in case she is using you. That way if she reconciles with her ex and says "See ya!" you won't be crushed. Hope this helps. Been broken up with by a control freak abuser and also a gay guy, so I've been there.
2006-11-22 12:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking you could be a rebound guy. It's never good to get into a relationship too soon after getting out of another one. Plus, I've never agreed with pre-marital sex. How long have you 2 been seeing each other? I don't think this is a relationship you should stay in, seems to me she's using you to heal past wounds and eventually you're going to come into some big problems, looks like they are already starting. Hope this helped! Good luck!
2006-11-22 12:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by IndiHippi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People often have sex too soon. This girl is still thinking of the ex. She is the kind who needs attention from a guy (probably she prefers a dysfunctional one), and on the rebound she found you. It doesn't matter if you had sex. She would have had sex with whomever she rebounded with. Unless you like being a yoyo ignore her--of course that will make her come running to you.
If you want a real relationship I'd suggest you pick someone more stable.
2006-11-22 12:40:02 · answer #6 · answered by chillsister 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be the rebound guy. Why else would she want to use thansgiving break to think things over, now shes thinking if she really want to go further with you or not. Some girls stay with the rebound guy but some don't. Just don't get too close till you know her for a while longer it would be easier so you don't get hurt.
2006-11-22 12:35:13 · answer #7 · answered by azn_butterfly2124 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all this girl wants is to have someone on the back burner,,,someone who will wait for her and be there when SHE wants you,,,,the sex should not of happened at all,,if you knew she was recently broken up,,why would you allow that to happen,,that didnt make sense,,,but sorry to say you ARE the rebound guy,,tell her you cant stay with her until she is over her ex,,,then tell her she can call you when she is over him.
It also sounds like she has been around the block a few times if she gave herself to you that quickly,,and that she might not respect herself too much either to be that quick to sleep with you just after she was broken up with her ex
2006-11-22 12:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by sherrl312002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She slept with you in an attempt to try and convince herself that she no longer wants to be with her ex.
If she slept with you and STILL needs time to "clear her mind" and figure out if she wants you or her ex-boyfriend .. I'd say she really doesn't care that much about you and the sex basically meant nothing.
I would say you need to break it off or you'll end up getting your heart broken. She's dating you too soon after the breakup and may realise that she made a mistake and go back to her ex.
Leaving you ... in the dust.
2006-11-22 12:40:11 · answer #9 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex did the same 2 me and it was just a rebound thing.He said the exact same thing but it was over Easter Break and we ended up cing each other of break and then we broke up 4 good and he did not go back 2 her again but w/ another girl and it wasn't a rebound thing but I just hope that it is not the same w/ u!!! =)
2006-11-22 12:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's very confused! She might really like you but at the same time she hasn't really gotten over her Ex yet. If I were you I wouldn't sit around & wait on her, if you really like her & want something more serious & long term with her then you need to have a real serious talk & put all the cards on the table. If she seems undecided or she tells you she feels pressured then you know she's not for real. Trust me! I was once in her position. Good Luck!
2006-11-22 12:42:15 · answer #11 · answered by Buggaboo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋