family advice?

Question

I was suppose to go to my cousins house for thanksgiving, my family on my dads side never had a problem with me bringing my half sister and suddenly they had a change of heart and my half sister is expecting to go and shes 8 years old. I feel really sad that this is happening especially around thanksgiving. My family have came out of town for thanksgiving as well. My aunt was the one who told me not to bring her and she was rude about it. So i have no idea what to do? Some one please give me advice. I think that if i show up i will not feel comfortable. then if i don't go they might think that i am acting immature.

Answer 1

If I read you correctly, the half sister is proof of someone's cheating or divorcing, and your Aunt is taking her anger over that cheating or divorcing out on an 8-year old girl.

I would not want to live in the same county as such mean-spirited people, let alone eat at the same table with them.

What do they expect you do do with the child, dump her at Denny's around 2, tell the waitress to feed her the hot turkey sandwich, the rest of you go to the cousin's house, then pick the child up at 4?

I would thank the Lord there is more to "family" than blood ties, find somewhere else to go with that poor innocent child, even if it means taking a turkey to the Salvation Army and asking if you can eat with the homeless people, and shun your mean-spirited Aunt for a couple of years. I would make plans to eat Thanksgiving with friends next year, not family (at least not that family.) I might go so far as to invite 4 - 6 older people from my church to my house for the dinner and promise to call them all "Uncle Bill" and "Aunt Margaret". They in turn can tell your half-sister "My, how you've grown". Thanksgiving 2007 could be better than Thanksgiving 2006 by light-years.

>> if I don't go they might think that I am acting immature.

One of the MAJOR hallmarks of maturity is consideration for people younger, weaker, poorer or otherwise less powerful than yourself. Making your half-sister feel loved on Thanksgiving by eating with her is more important than offending your aunt, to my mind.

Answer 2

Since you don't know why your "sister" is not invited, I would suggest that you have a conversation with your aunt and let her know how disappointed you are that your sister is not welcome and ask why the change of heart. It should be made clear that your "sister" is your family too and you can't imagine having Thanksgiving without her; and you couldn't possibly hurt her by leaving her behind. If this doesn't change your aunt's/family's mind, nothing will. Spend your Thanksgiving with those who are also thankful for You. If your sister only has you to spend Thanksgiving with, you should be there for her. She'll never forget the sacrifice you made for her. Your aunt may also come to the realization that whatever made her not want to invite your sister wasn't worth it. Hopefully, your aunt will realize she made a hasty statement and you & your sister will both be at her table for Thanksgiving and sharing all the things you are grateful for - family being one.

Answer 3

I wouldn't subject your innocent 8 year old sister to some squabbling adult even if an aunt . There is no immaturity on your part in avoiding a possible situation as that , this rests squarely on your aunt and if asked explain tell them you were made to feel uncomfortable by your aunt and for the child's sake chose to stay home. Very sorry to hear this at this time , it happens to many families during holidays and is quite unfortunate for all . I wish you a Great Thanksgiving in spite of this , god bless

Answer 4

Well, I think they are the ones being immature, not you. Specially if your aunt was rude about it. If she had always gone in the past and all the sudden they changed there mind...Me myself wouldn't go. If you have no other family to go to maybe you and your sister can do something else specal together. If you feel bad about not going, maybe go for an hour or so (I don't think I would even eat) and then leave and go do something with your sister. Its kinda mean to hurt an 8yr olds feelings and very immature.
Good luck.

Answer 5

just tell them that if ur sister cant come then ur not going to go because she is family as well and u don't want to leave her out. i think they are the ones being immature about it especially if shes come every other year. your aunt was wrong to be so rude about it. hope you can sort it out and have a good thanksgiving

Answer 6

Do you look at her as your half sister? I have 2 sisters and technically they are half sisters but i dont see it that way and neither does any other family member. In fact when my father passed away a so called family friend said my sister shouldnt do the eulogy at the funeral because my dad was not her dad....that woman was pathetic and has no family values and i have never spoken to her since.You by the sounds of it have family values and you shouldnt be parted from your sister if you dont wish to be..you love her and your aunt needs to pull her head in...i wouldnt go until she apologised and made your sister feel welcome or there are going to be ongoing problems forever, nip it in the bud now.Good luck...you arent immature and if i was your little sister i would be proud of you for loving me.

Answer 7

I think you should have Thanksgiving with your half sister. If your aunt will not welcome her, fix your own dinner or find somebody else to eat with. Let your sister know that some "grownup problems," which she had nothing to do with, have come up, causing a change of plans. Make sure your sister has a really nice time.

Answer 8

I am so proud of you. You are a loyal person. You are concerned about the feelings of a small 8-year old child. You have to make a decision. Wherever you go, with your sister of course, make sure you both are welcome. You are not only acting very mature, you are considering other people's feelings, a small child that is vulnerable and cannot defend herself in this case, and you are a very brave person with good values. I pray that you both can be welcome to somebody's home, arelative or a friend, where the real spirit of Thanksgiving is alive. May I send you a hug?? Have a nice holiday!

Answer 9

Wow. I can't believe grown people would treat an 8yo child that way. Are you sure it is the whole family and not just your aunt?

I think you and your sister should spend Thanksgiving together. I doesn't matter where you go to do it, as long as the two of you are together.

Answer 10

The family are the ones being insensitive. You should do what you feel is right. Follow your heart. If that means that just you and your sister do something together, so be it. Your still with family for the holiday. If you do this, the rest of them may come to their senses. If not, it is their loss, not yours.

Take care of yourself and your baby sister first sweetie!!