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15 answers

Yeah, why not. What could it hurt? If they're estranged, they probably won't come and it will be on their conscience.

2006-11-22 11:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by E B 5 · 1 1

I think it depends, how estranged they are and would she want you to do that?.....
I don't know how old you are but if you are under 30, not your problem in my opinion. Over 30ish..it is up to you if she is not capable of doing it herself.
I am a true believer in forgiveness, in connecting at the end, the last time you have to say I love you, is indeed, the last time, but if she would not be comfortable with this, then perhaps it would be a mistake.
I have read many many tough questions here and always try to give a good or hopefull answer, but I would need more details to answer this with any form of correctness. You are between a rock and a hard place, my gutt tells me let them know.... my heart tells me to think long and hard, if you even think for a mili-second she wants to see them and make amends, then full speed ahead, if there is doubt, feel it out gently and make her last days be the way she wants them.
There may be reasons she does not want to see them that you are unaware of, don't push it,,maybe just suggest it and encourage her gently. Tough one, sorry for you, sorry for her, it jsut isn't always fair...sounds like she is lucky to have you and maybe that is all she needs and wants.........good luck.

2006-11-22 11:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am sorry about your Mom. I can see you care so much for her, that you feel an obligation to make everything right for her, before she is gone.
For that reason, do you know what your Mother would have wanted? Is she conscious, can you talk to her? If not, did she ever mention to you her wishes to see her stranged family ever again? If there are powerful reasons, you have to respect her feelings.

My Mom was very sick, and they brought somebody to the hospital whom she did not want to see when she was in good health. She reacted pretty bad and angry. She couldn't talk by then, but she was visible upset.

I know it is all about forgiveness and closure, but in this case, what would she want? How bad were the circumstances that lead to this situation? In my mother's case, I Iearned years later that there was some kind of sexual abuse.

Are you doing this for her sake or for her family's? Unfortunately, you will have to make a choice.

I hope you make the right decision. It is not easy for you, you are the one dealing with the guilt and worry of doing the right thing.

Take care! Best wishes.

2006-11-22 11:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by GrandMamma 2 · 0 0

What does your mom say?
If she's unable to express an opinion now, you have to go by her past actions and expressed opinions.
If she wants them to know, tell them. If she has shown no sign of wanting to hear from them, then don't.
There is a reason she is estranged from them.
You can tell them after she dies, if you think it's a good idea.

2006-11-22 12:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0 0

I would discuss it with your Mom. She may be at the point of making things "right", seeking closure. If you haven't already, I'd ask hospice to get involved. (Your Mom's doctor can help with this) They are great at helping in these types of situations. If she doesn't want to make ammends, at least you've offered. It's all about supporting her and her needs at this time.

2006-11-22 11:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffani S 1 · 0 0

It sounds as though even with the actuality that your sister likes to imagine she is self sustaining, shes no longer! yet im afraid your mom and father are likely specifically responsible for her behaviour. You did not say what type of abuse it replaced into so im assuming its actual? This in itself consequences human beings in diverse strategies. while you've realized to 'cope' with it, she obviously hasn't, and is protecting alot of resentment in direction of your mom and father for in spite of it replaced into they did to you all. As for you in a courting, she is jealous of you, effortless as that. i imagine she loves you yet likely would not comprehend recommendations on the thanks to manage this and he or she cant. you're properly, she does want help. possibly your mom and father ought to communicate with her and tell her this, as i can't imagine of the different answer. really you're the superior of both and he or she looks to you for re-coverage. pay interest to her, and help her as a lot as you are able to, up till the point she crosses the line, if she does this and your no longer satisfied with her reaction e.g. her strolling in between you and your bf, provide up, examine out her and say please dont try this, i'd not do it to you so please dont do it me. Be direct so she is conscious you received't take any nonsense from her. i wish all is going properly, it should be positive for her to seek medical help as i think if she would not, she ought to also succumbed to suicidal concepts.

2016-10-16 10:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Yes, I do think you should let them know. Do you know for sure that this is what your Mom would want?
I hope they come to see her and that things from the past can be left in the past.
I'll say a prayer for you and your family.

2006-11-22 11:19:33 · answer #7 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 1 1

i dont talk to my 3 brothers or my 4 sisters. I wouldnt want my daughter to tell her aunt or uncles that im dying(daughter is 16yr).
if family dont care while we are alive and they dont care about us after we die(they forget about family after in the ground). why should they be aloud to a funeral.??
if she wants a funeral for her mom, just have her friends and the people that have been around in the last 5 years of her life be at her funeral. thats what i would want. not family that dont want to visit or talk to us. I invited family to my new house for the holidays and they dont talk to me. so wouldnt want them at my funeral. and my daughter dont even know them at all.
no, dont tell them. they wouldnt care.

2006-11-22 11:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0 0

yes i think you should u dont want them to end up being cross or hating you because you didnt tell them. they are still family and they have a right to know

2006-11-22 11:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by rk 3 · 1 1

Yes.

2006-11-22 11:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

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