how can i be Sad, low, depressed and high, happy, hyper, at the sametime?

Question

I've been a cutter for a long time now been on 6 lots of meds for depression. Coz I have been on 6 lots and they not worked my GP has taken me off meds and is now saying "well maybe your just a low person". But how can I be a low person when I'm not always low. My mood changes from 1 min to the next I would be smiling and happy 1 sec then the smile just drops just like that and I get very low and tearful for no reason. I panic a lot over nothing I could panic looking at the TV or on the PC I have been know to pass out with it. I have been sent to see Crisis Teams and CMHT for an asst many times. Nothing happens I get sent home the last time I went they send try going for a walk and eating better. But sometimes I'm to depressed to eat and when I try and go for a walk I panic at that time they did change my pills to Prozac but did not work so after that I tried to kill myself and they just said "well we could try upping your meds" that did not work in the first place. Then my GP took me off pills saying the thing. So since then I have had no meds and its getting bad again cutting deeper 6 times a day crying most the day. I work weekends but I go and I can start with being high and yelling and **** then the next min I'm so so low again I don't know when its going to change. When it dose I feel like I'm not me like my body is doing things and my brain is on the out side looking in. I do the most silly things like not looking when I cross the road, taking things out the oven with just my bear hands and I don't feel it till I come back down and hit the ground hard.
At night things happen a lot I have trouble sleeping bad I can sleep in the day no trouble at all. But at night I can't sleep so I go to bed late and I have to get up at 9 in the morning for my dog. I cut mostly at night I can see there getting deeper but I'm at the stage now where I like to see them deeper and to see the blood and I really couldn't care care less now. It’s a time where I feel at me lowest but can feel high and hyper but it don't last long and its back to being low. Sometimes I feel lost in myself like everything changes like I'm not myself no more. I don't know what to do with myself……………….

Answer 1

Some symptoms of Bipolar Disorder Type (2) not to be confused with Type (1) Big Difference.I have type (2) it can be controlled and there is help it just takes them a while as they have to be certain it Bipolar,thats why it takes along time until they finally say yes it is.
next time your at the doc ask for another referral to psychiatrist and Do Not withhold any info from them they need to no everything.
All the best

Doctor is not the expert you need psychiatrists

Answer 2

Hi-I'm sorry to hear that you are so depressed you are harming yourself. I suffer with depression and take a medication called Zispin 45mg. I was told by a psychiatrist at an alcohol treatment unit 20 years ago that I suffered with a chemical imbalance in the brain which he labelled clinical depression.So it is an illness. Over the years I have tried several and have found this one to have the least side effects. Everyone is different of course so it may not be the best thing for you.A doctor is the only one qualified to make that decision. However the zispin stabilises my mood swings so I don't get the black depression I used to when I couldn't move out of the armchair and even the thought of doing some minor task would exhaust me. I used to drink heavily too but eventually found that this wasn't the answer either-tried suicide twice. I joined a 12 step program which helped me to talk out my problems with people like myself. The depression lifted after this but years later it has returned but not nearly as bad as it used to be.I haven't had a drink of alcohol for over 20 years.I also have a faith in my Creator now which helps me a great deal-couldn't do without it in fact. So if you feel like talking then please email me if you think I can be of help. Take care. R

Answer 3

Wow, you sound like you are really struggling. All that emotional upheaval must be exhausting and draining!! First, I think you should explore different therapists. It doesn't sound like you are actually doing any psychotherapy...just medication. Secondly, most people here I'm sure are saying it sounds like bipolar. I think you should research Borderline Personality Disorder. You might see some similarities. I'm by no means saying you have it, but it's another avenue to explore. There are some effective treatment strategies used in conjuction with BPD that you'd probably benefit from. They work to help change thoughts and behaviors rather than just using medication. But the key is that you really HAVE to want to get help and you have to be willing to work hard. No reward will come easy....good luck and I hope you can feel some relief soon.

Answer 4

If you have tried all of those meds and none of them worked, your problem may be more serious than the doctor you mentioned is diagnosing it.

As much as I am reluctant to share these websites and information with you, I really think that ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) would be the best option for you right now, since it has been known to help people like you who are not helped by any other treatment.

Answer 5

You need a thorough psychiatric evaluation by a psychiatrist. GP's know next to nothing about serious mental illness. You most likely have bipolar disorder, which can be treated successfully with the right medication. Your self-mutilating behavior is a maladaptive response for handling the psychic pain you are experiencing.

Answer 6

i doubt you're even gonna read through these, so i dont know why i'm bothering, but look:

you only get one life. once it's over, you die, and you never get another chance. you can spend this one life you have doing WHATEVER you want. it doesn't matter. once you do it, you will die, and everyone who knew you will die, and everyone that was ever alive at the same time as you will die.

now, your emotional state is made up of 3 parts:
1) physical (meaning them chemicals in your bain that cause emotions)
2) external (meaning the state of your world/life, the state of things around you)
3) internal (meaning your personality, your thoughts, the WAY you think about things, the way you decide to feel about things, etc.)

your medication treats ONLY part 1, the chemical imbalances. no amount of pills is going to change the situations you experience every day, obviously. it is only in YOUR power to fix #2 & 3.

decide what is making you unhappy, and fix it. decide WHY these things make you unhappy. try and be logical. you CAN change your life, i promise.

Answer 7

you sound manic.. everything else is secondary.. you settle on one hting to the exclusion of all other things..and you flit, never finishing anythng but moving on after a few minutes hours days.. but never weeks... and sometimes seconds...

that is classic manic depression... and i reconside my symptoms...im not a cutter, or anything so self destructive, but i do everything else... mind you im stoned 99% of the time..largagtyl..5milligrames..little blue one.... a couple of tokes and planet zog here i come... my dad died, and for almost 18 months i stared at a wall, contemplated the big bang... (9mm) and i wrote... and i treated my long suffering lovely wife, and out two kids with utter disregard and contempt..

and befroe any of you start thinking oh goodness martha, this ones a right monster.. yes i am... and whats more, i know i am.. its what i am, and who i am... i'm a genius, stuck in a forking wheelchair... and oh boy do i get depressed...and then i get manic... and i dont sleep at night... so i stay up till im nodding in the chair..maybe 4am..and i'm up again at 8-maybe 8.30 and it starts all over again... another forking day... another 19 hours of boredom and inactivity... and there aint no meds.. just a liquid cosh... i'd rather be manic than sedated...

all you really need is someone to talk to... to help you understand whats going on... shrinks dont know jack..so ask another victim...and find out how they cope...donat ask teh man who makes shoes how they fit..ask a person who wears them..

be good.
later
stuart

Answer 8

You should award yourself 10 points for a longest question.
Because we are not supposed to be happy or sad all of the time.
Happy some times, sad some times, but mostly in the middle.
We would be very boring otherwise. How would you enjoy the happy times if you did not have some sad times with which to gauge them by? Bi-Polar my asse, normal more like.

Answer 9

Change your doctor and see a psychiatrist. What you are describing are the typical symtoms of a person suffering from bipolar disorder. Your G.P. is not qualified to treat it.You need a specialist.Best of luck to find a good one.

Answer 10

Well i´m not a senior but i will b a freshman and most of my friends r leaving to another school- so at first i was really excited but now i feel bad because we have been together for 10 years(not kidding, since pre-k )