A man walks into a pub with an ostritch and a cat, he walks up to the bar and says can I have a pint of bitter and a coke and......'and an orange juice, but i'm not paying for it' says the cat. So the barman serves the drinks.
A couple days later the three walk into the pub again and the man orders a bitter and a coke and some crisps and the cat says 'i'll have an orange juice, but i'm not bloody paying for it!' The barman pours the drinks and the cat and ostritch sit down at a table. The man leans on the bar and sighs.
'whats up with that cat! and why have you got a ostricth?' asks the barman
The man replies ' well the other day I found this lamp, so I rubbed it and out pops a genie and grants one wish'
'so what did you wish for?'
' well...... a bird with nice long legs and a tight p*ssy'
2006-11-22 10:57:47 · 12 answers · asked by wave 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
haha well here is one for u.
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where`s Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they`re up in bed." The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where`s Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they`re still up in bed." Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where`s Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they`re still up in bed." The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "whats so funny? Every time I tell you t hey`re still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?" The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."
2006-11-22 11:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there, are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..........Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replied the greeter, " I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
2006-11-23 22:09:53 · answer #2 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man walks into a Chinese restaurant and asks, "What's duck like?
The reply: A chicken with legs that swims on water.
groan,groan.
2006-11-22 19:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by beech7wood2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA thats funny
2006-11-22 19:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by pigtails101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can you change colour too coz youll make a better comelian,than comedian,whats your question by the way
2006-11-22 19:00:27 · answer #5 · answered by del 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
lol thats funny sick but funny
2006-11-22 19:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by Groovy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cute
2006-11-22 19:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Neville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gwad thats not a question lol
2006-11-22 18:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by skull-rider 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
LOL funnny....hehheh
2006-11-22 19:01:46 · answer #9 · answered by Sangy . 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ahahaha intresitng!!!!
2006-11-22 20:36:44 · answer #10 · answered by help 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋