My gf and I took a 'time apart' for many reasons, but mostly because she said she needed to find herself & experience more (I was her first serious guy). She tried to kind of keep me on a string, staying in touch, telling me that she really loved me & knew we'd get back together,etc. Left me in a pretty confused state as I was unsure of whether to move on — she would never give me a straight answer. I told her honestly that I would have a hard time dealing with it if she got involved with other people. 4 months later we DID get back together — we both had missed each other and it looked like our relationship was back on track, then some of the details of her past came out; she had made out with people in bars and had sex with one of them, really lived it up. Thought I was OK with it but it bugs me more and more now. Never had to deal with this issue b4 in our relationship, I had complete faith and trust in her. Now I worry alot that she is fickle and that I'm not enough for her.
2006-11-22 10:16:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have to add this: we had been together for a LONG time before this, one of the things she wanted was more committment from me and I was confused and unsure, thus the 'time apart' — really a lot my fault. The time was good for me to figure out the things I wanted and how to get them (and yes, they included her and making a larger committment), but during the break I did not find myself ready to even consider another girl, even for a kiss or whatever. I spent time with myself, etc. I have a hard time with how ready and eager she seemed at the time to be single and indifferent to me (though she claims she loved me all the way through and thought about me). ANYWAY, I was more or less OK with all of this but it DOES bother me, it was a side of her personality i had NEVER seen before and it scares me. I want to propose to this girl and make a future, but I need to get over this stuff and I don't know how. It's eating me up in many ways,
2006-11-22 10:16:53 · update #1
Go on and propose... Things should be fine. It just sounds like she needed some time apart to see if she really wanted to be with you. Lots of people go through this and may be with other people in the mean time. She found her way back to you and that's what matters.
2006-11-22 10:26:33 · answer #1 · answered by brit_m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you were split at the time, she owed you nothing. If you had just met someone you probably wouldn't care that she had recently messed around.
On the other hand she is the one who split with you and for a reason that seems to clash with her later behavior.
You have to be able to just quit allowing yourself to think about it. Or call it quits. No use you suffering or her being punished. The relationship could be fatally flawed at this point.
2006-11-22 10:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did tell her to move on and find herself, which she did. It included getting serious with some other guys. Why bother with what is in the past? You can't change the past but you can change the future. If you are ready to commit to her, and she is to you, you both should move on from here. Don't sweat the small stuff.
2006-11-22 10:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by judirose2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? you seem pretty young. from personal experience, i'd say you really need to at least hook up with a COUPLE of other girls. just to see whats out there. if you still find yourself wanting her back.. go for it. you cant be mad at what she did. if you were her FIRST serious relationship, she had to be curious of what else was out there, she's only human, i hope. but yea... good luck on that son!
2006-11-22 10:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by smizzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it behind you and never refer to it again. We are all human and we are curious. She had a look out there and decided you were what she wanted. Accept that and be glad. Good luck.
2006-11-22 10:37:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well love is true maybe blind but true, i know i couldn't sleep with another guy, when i love my man, i couldnt let him touch me!! maybe she just had a little too much to drink even though that isnt an excuse, but may help ease pain. if you really love her and except her for her go for it!! would you rather be with her or mad at her??
2006-11-22 10:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by collegechick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing i can say is tell her how it bugs u and get it off your chest
2006-11-22 10:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by ღStarzzღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to prove to you that she will no longer hurt you. You need to define to her what that would take.
2006-11-22 10:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by jackbutler5555 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋