Why are people offended when I say "Merry Christmas", when what I mean is, "Have a great holiday?"

Question

I am a christian trying to engage those offended by this statement in a dialogue. My goal is to understand why this would possibly be offensive, when I'm just trying to be nice. I'm not saying, "Happy Birth of Jesus Day", but rather, "I hope you enjoy your time away from work with your family." I understand that I could say just that, or "Happy Holidays," or any other number of politically correct greetings, but I want to understand why those who are offended take offense. Again, I'm trying to start a dialogue here - please help me to understand.

am a christian trying to engage those offended by this statement in a dialogue. My goal is to understand why this would possibly be offensive, when I'm just trying to be nice. I'm not saying, "Happy Birth of Jesus Day", but rather, "I hope you enjoy your time away from work with your family." I understand that I could say just that, or "Happy Holidays," or any other number of politically correct greetings, but I want to understand why those who are offended take offense. Again, I'm trying to start a dialogue here - please help me to understand.


UPDATE: I've never experienced someone getting offended by my saying "Merry Christmas" before - I'm simply trying to understand why someone would be. Some of the answers below are really good and very valuable - please keep them coming.

Answer 1

Maybe they are not christian and don't think much of christians.

Answer 2

I can't imagine anyone being offended by the words "Merry Christmas". The intent of these words aren't intended to stir antagonism with anyone.
Of course, if the people you are referring to are the politically correct cops then I can see where they might be inclined to take offense.

With these, there isn't anything you can do about it.

This falls into the same pattern of greeting someone by saying "How are you? Or How you doing?" These words aren't said with the expectation that you want to hear the latest report of the gynecologist and the reasons thereof.

I really wouldn't worry that much about it because it's very intent is good.

Answer 3

I know this isn't what people who have already made up their minds want to hear but this has been grossly misrepresented. My christian friends sent me a number of emails, each protesting an episode where they thought there was an anti-christmas or anti-christian agenda. And each and every one of the stories, when I actually went and read the story, were only about cities and corporations trying to be more inclusive by adopting 'happy holidays'. And no matter how many times I sent people the original stories with snippets that showed their perceptions were incorrect, I *NEVER* had one person see the light. NEVER. They had their minds made up and that was it. When they complained about the 'liberal anti-Christian ACLU' and I sent them a list of 20 actions where the ACLU supported a christian's right to express their religion on tv, in school, and elsewhere, NOT ONE of the people took the facts and changed their perception. And so it is with this misperception that there's this anti-christmas or anti-christian agenda out there. When people are given the facts, they NEVER EVER accept them. And when a few isolated cases appear that support their perceptions, they blow them out of proportion the same way racists do when they see a news story about a black man committing a crime.

Answer 4

I'm curious who has been offended, too. No one I know, who isn't of Christian faith, finds Merry Christmas offensive. As a matter of fact - this question has been approached several times here at YA in the past week, and all the atheists, pagans, and other-than-Christians who answered all agreed they weren't offended by Merry Christmas.

You must encounter a lot of sensitive people? Or do you believe Bill O'Reilly's "Culture Warrior" - a tale of a fantasy war going on against Christian conservatives ?

Answer 5

Saying "Happy Holidays" is going to offend those people who view this as more than just a holiday and as something extremely important. As in: more improtant than memorial day or Martin Luther King Day or whatever other holiday.

So in essence, there will always be someone offended by what you say. In short, say Merry Christmas if you want to say it. I know I do and I sleep at night just fine.

Oh, and I've never had a single person tell me they were offended when i said Merry Christmas.

Answer 6

I have had some people respond to my "merry christmas" with a rather cold "we don't celebrate christmas" . . . as they were muslim but I couldn't have known and honestly I think that they should have been able to see that I was just wishing them well.
I mean if someone were to wish me a Happy Ramadan if I lived in a primarily Muslim area, I wouldn't be offended as they obviously are just being nice.
However due to my experince I have generalized my "merry christmas" to "happy holidays" over the last few years.

Answer 7

I am not offended by it because I assume that people who say it are doing it with the best of intentions.

However, if I know somebody who celebrates some particular holiday during this time of year I will go the extra mile and show them extra respect by acknowledging their holiday appropriately.

On the other hand - if I don't know what they celebrate then I will go out of my way to still be respectful and wish them the more generic Happy Holidays.

Question - Are you cool with people wishing you a happy Kwanzaa Ramadan or Hannukahh or Chinese New Year?

A

Answer 8

To be honest, I never gave it much thought until I was in college and couldn't stop myself from saying "How was your Christmas?" or "What did you get for Christmas" to a friend, even after he had told me he was Jewish and celebrated Chanukah. I wasn't trying to insult him, it was just a habit. After that embarrassing episode, I resolved to be more considerate and not assume.

Now, when I know someone is a Christian (or non-Christian who celebrates the secular aspects of Christmas), I say, "Merry Christmas." If I know someone is a Jew, I say, "Happy Chanukah." If I know someone is a Wiccan, I say, "Happy Yule (or Winter Solstice)." If I know someone is a Humanist, I say, "Happy HumanLight."

And if I don't know what they are, I say, "Happy Holidays!" It's inclusive and doesn't presume anything (or less, anyway--I suppose it's possible they could be against celebrating holidays in general).

Answer 9

I hear about this all the time, but I've never actually heard of an actual incident of it. I mean, has someone ever said to YOU, "I'm offended" or "Don't say Christmas".

I know that Fox News would love to have us believe that it happens, but I just don't think it does.

I think "people getting upset over 'Christmas' is an urban myth. Like aligators in the sewers.

Answer 10

You are assuming everyone wants to know how happy you are at your Christian holiday.

Say what you mean and "have a good day or holiday " is more middle of the road, won't offend anyone who doesn't share your joy of Xmas.
Now.. Have a nice holiday season.

Answer 11

If you mean, "have a great holiday," then why don't you say that? In this way you accommodate all holidays that are celebrated this time of year.

Honestly, I would think people who do not celebrate Christmas are so used to this time of year being incredibly Christmas-centric that they would be used to it by now. So they should no longer become overly upset or get extremely offended.

However, please go back to your original intention and practice INclusiveness and not EXclusiveness.

Good question!