My boyfriend and I keep having a lot arguments, is that a sign for us not to get married?

Answer 1

Could be. If you can't work out your problems before you get married. Then being married will be no different, maybe even worse for that matter.

Answer 2

NO! Not necessarily.

More important is HOW ARE YOU RESOLVING THE ARGUMENTS!

I think the best marriages are where you are not too closely alike. That way your strengths can cancel out his weaknesses and vice versa! Sure, you have to have some common ground. But if you both agree on everything, you will soon become bored with yourselves and get divorced! Are you two closer after the arguments? My wife and I have had MANY arguments in our 30+ years together. We still don't agree on everything. But we learn from our arguments-- at least we learn how the other feels about the subject! Sometimes we learn to stay away from that subject (LOL).

Answer 3

I think if he's referring to us and we in the context of a conversation involving children if there are any , than that is normal, those children will always be their children and us and we make sense. If there are no children than you are right you need to talk to him and explain that now the two of you should be us and we. Calling her by her name during an argument is upsetting as well but maybe it brought up memories of when they argued. Either way yoy need to sit down and have a long talk. And I say talk not a shouting match or an interrogation or an accusation fest(ival). If you really care for him than you owe to yourself to make the best effort possible to see if you can work it out. Because you are right it is a problem.

Answer 4

It depends on what your arguments are like. Every couple goes through ups and downs. However, if your arguments are really nasty, this is the time to learn how to handle conflict constructively. Many couples benefit from premarital counseling. You can get this kind of counseling through your faith community or from a counselor.

If you find that your partner is putting you down a lot or hurting you physically, these are definite signs to reconsider the marriage. Also if you are finding a lot of your life goals are totally incompatible such you really want kids and he really doesn't etc, then you may also want to reconsider. However, some conflicts are normal, so if they aren't terribly nasty or earth-shattering, I would look into premarital counseling. Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

Not necessarily. Lots of couples argue, hon. As long as you both aren't arguing over really important things (political views, how you view each other, your future and what you want in life...) If you don't waste too uch time nitpicking or disagreeing because you're too different, then you could overcome these arguments and be ok. Try working on taking time to tell each other the GOOD things you love about each other and the things that bring you together - not apart. Listen to each other's feelings, make compremises and don't "keep score" in arguments ("YOU did THIS! Well YOU did THAT!!") Keeping score can be damaging. Remember that many couples can sink their own ship if they don't take care of it.

Answer 6

Depends on alot of things. What the arguments are about, How long you have been dating, your ages, your backgrounds and etc. etc. There is no set answer. My husband and I have been married almost 13 yrs and dated for 2 yrs before that. When we dated we fought like cats and dogs for awhile. But we was going through some stuff. When our problems were solved we quit fusing as much. We are happy, but we still have the typical fuss here and there... but who doesnt.. Marriage is a big step, just make sure you are ready and be happy!

Answer 7

I would say it depends on the way you are arguing. Do you have really bad fights with a lot of kiss and make up afterwards? Then the two of you just like the highs and lows (and wihtout lows, there are no highs for you).
Or are you arguing about really important question like how to spend you life/family yes,no/where to live etc.?
If that is the case, then maybe you are heading toward different directions in your life and it might be wise to at least postpone the wedding a bit in order to find out whether you are looking for the same things in life.

Answer 8

Are you engaged? If you are it might just be the stress of an upcoming wedding. It's scary to think you are making such a big commitment to another person. It could be a manifestation of that fear, not incompatibility. The best thing to do is figure out what is really triggering the arguments and talk about it.

Answer 9

First off you both need to sit down and figure out what your problems are and why you are fighting about them. Then try to resolve the issues. If this doesn't help maybe seek some pre-marriage counciling. If you love him then try to make it work but if you can't see yourself being married to him and your tired of the fights and things don't change then break up with him and find someone who does make you happy. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Answer 10

Could be, even though all couples have arguments, it's not a good sign especially if he has a real bad temper...it isn't good for you and just think if you brought the child into the picture...If you can get him to counceling, now is the time to go...and get some things settled before you get into something you'll regret...

Answer 11

No, people that love each other have disagreements sometimes. It just maybe a sign to work on communicating and listening to one another. It is also a chance to learn to not fight over the little or big stuff but to try to work things out with out fighting and that may mean that the woman has to be the bigger man and let it go and solve it later. good luck. and try not to jump to conclusions, if you are having doubts, talking to your boyfriend or a counselor.