i have always been against prenups because once i get married im not getting divorced...he say its just incase something crazy happens like i cheat and then we divorce and i take his money...what should i do? is it fair because now he has so much money?
2006-11-22 08:26:39 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Do we know your fiance?
2006-11-22 08:28:51 · answer #1 · answered by Sweetness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This comes down to what is important for the two of you and you in particular since you are asking the question.
Pre-nups are supposed to protect both parties.
Do you have your own career; if you divorce and his career flops (god willing it wont) would you support him or feel that you should with spousal support
If you dont have your own career what do you plan to contribute besides bills deducting from the incoming money?
Vice versa-what was he doing before he struck it rich? Were you helping him pay his bills and did you make him sign a prenup? WOuld you make him sign one if you hit the big time?
Then there is the final issue; dependiong on where you live the law of the state the prenup is signed in prevails. In some states no matter what you get half. In others you only get what you bring in-unless the prenup provides for more than that. If the prenup doesnt meet the state limit where you are married then the judge will automatically up the ante. Having said that I think it is best for prenups to have a cheaters clause which causes a person who cheats (whether it is him or you) to walk away empty handed or with less than their fair share but again depending on the state they will get the legal limit. You also need a lawyer; not someone who is working for the record company and looking out for his best interest but someone independent whom you pay to preserve your interests.
Hope this helps
Congratulations on your pending nuptials.
2006-11-22 08:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agree on it, but also make sure that the prenup has several protections for you: if you catch him cheating on you with a fan or anybody all his money and property goes to you automatically, and an automatic divorce without any rights for him, and that he should maintain your level of life until you die, and that he should pay for any children you have until university, no matter if he turns poor or not.
I really don't like prenups. But sometimes they might be necesary, but I don't really know how when. The deal with him becoming famous is, that he never knows if he's for a long time, or just a one-time thing.
Make sure that if you get married, you (as a couple, or at least you) save some money in case his show becomes on more short-time famous.
Added:
Also, if you decide to sign the prenup, go first to a lawyer you can trust and have him explain to you in clear terms what the contract says. Forget the romantic side and your never-ending romance thing, be objective, and know what you're signing and which compromises you're aquiring.
I think that some things you sign in a prenup aren't really valid if they go against the law, or in which cases they do. Don't sign it blindly just because you love him. In this case, be more cold and get good counsel on the contract. And keep a copy of the contract with your family.
2006-11-22 08:33:18 · answer #3 · answered by Roberto 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't marry you without a prenup. I'm not saying that you're marrying him for his money but when divorce happens people get crazy. Also just so you know you don't have to just sign whatever prenup he hands you. Prenups are negotiable. Get yourself a lawyer and have the two lawyers work it out. You talk to your lawyer; he talks to his lawyer and you two don't talk about it and that way each of you can get mad at the other's lawyer instead of each other. However a prenup is essential unless both of you have nothing.
2006-11-22 08:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a prenup if you really want to marry him... dont if you dont want to marry him. A prenup doesnt mean you wont get any money it just sets a limit to the money. Have one drawn up then have a lawyer ffor you look it over. Most prenups are pretty fair.
Just because he wants a prenup doesnt mean he doesnt love you or doesnt trust you... todays society is so messed up and things happen that you never planned on. Feelings change.
2006-11-22 08:35:02 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most of us never marry with the thought that we'll be divorcing that person some day but statistics are against us. Remember that a pre-nuptual agreement is a legal document and is something that can be negotiated. I'd take a look at the agreement and hand it over to my attorney for a "counter pre-nup". If significant amount of monies are involved, this is not uncommon. He seems to want to protect himself from doing something crazy" like cheat. Explain to him you want to afford yourself the same benefit. If you pay a penalty for cheating then so should he.
2006-11-22 12:28:25 · answer #6 · answered by L R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we marry, we never expect to get divorced, but this is the real world and divorce happens to the best of us.. If you love the guy, sign the prenup and marry him. After awhile, if he sees you two are staying together, he will drop that prenup. Good luck.
2006-11-22 08:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by Dyan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sign the prenup if you want to marry him. That is just telling him that you are not in it for the money. If you were to divorce, you could still receive some kind of spousal support.
2006-11-22 08:35:15 · answer #8 · answered by spool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't sign anything other than a marriage license. By asking you to sign one, he's telling you that he loves his money more than he loves you, and if he leaves you, you don't get anything. The other thing is that if he puts divorce as an option before you get married, he's not serious about the relationship. That's why so many marriages break up. People go into them figuring that they can always get a divorce if it doesn't work. Once divorce becomes an option, you've given up in the marriage, and it sounds to me as he's given up before you've even started! I'd run!
2006-11-22 08:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your self in his shoes....if you was the one with all the money what would you do? I'll tell you what I would do,I would make sure I had a prenup so my man couldn't cheat on me and take me to the cleaners at the same time with his new chick, but one the other hand if you have been with this guy while he was dead broke and help him get to where he is now ...Hell yeah you deserve some of the money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Good luck
2006-11-22 08:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by queenmeplse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't plan on getting a divorce maybe you guys could compromise. Sign the prenup but make sure it is something that you agree to like for instance if he wants to leave you than you get the house and spousal support and if you leave him then you walk away empty handed!
2006-11-22 08:32:13 · answer #11 · answered by Lori J 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋