How can I stop fighting with my mother without giving in all the way?

Question

Recently we've been fighting like everyday or the stupidest things. For instance we are redoing my room (which is rather small) and I have all of this furniture in it which she picked out from when I was a baby. There’s not enough room for all the furniture so the only thing that can really just go into another room is this large antique (and ugly) vanity. The logical thing would be to get rid of it in order to get a much smaller desk but my mother will NOT let me put it in another room- even my father agrees with me. We got into the huge fight over it and of-course she won.

I'm trying to get over it but I just can't. It's so annoying how she wins every single argument we have with threatening to take something away. That was just an example. We fight about what she says (she doesn’t remember saying things and then contradicts herself- mental disorder perhaps? :/ ) and other things along those lines.

I guess I just have to continue doing homework on the floor...

Any advice?

Answer 1

First off, in an disagreement, keep hold of your temper. Try to reason with her without raising your voice. Try to negotiate a compromise. Before she can threaten you with taking something away, try saying something like, "I would really like to move this vanity somewhere else so that I can make room for a desk. I know you don't want to, so why don't we make a trade? I'll do something you want in exchange for this favor." This will demonstrate that you are mature and are considering her feelings and wants too. It used to work with my mother.

Answer 2

See it from your mom's point of view: She picked all that out for you. It probably means something to her.

You just need a desk... or a spot to work. It doesn't have to be in your room, right? Kitchen tables work nicely.

Look, I'm 22 and I haven't lived with my mom since I was 18.. because then I was a mom. Your mom may be crazy, like mine, but she's your mom. I miss talking to my mom... but you still have a choice. Try not to fight. Offer suggestions instead.

Like this:
Mom, I know that you really love this stuff, but I need a space to work. I'd really like the find a small desk and maybe some shelves for the walls for books. If I can't have a desk for my room, then can you help me find a place to work and study?

But chill out. I know that about half the fights I got into with my mom could've been avoided if I were just nicer and more repectful. Give it a shot. If she says no, then say ok and go to your room. You might think you're growing up for not starting a fight over it,

Answer 3

seems like daughter is like mom. both want to have their way. believe me, this is a common occurrence. it's hard when you are the child to win. so, rather than fighting all the time, discuss in a mature manner - when she says she will NOT do something that you want - simply and quietly, tell her you're not understanding, WHY it can't be done. let her give you an explanation. don't let her off the hook, especially if there is yelling going on her part, just say mom i don't want to fight with you -- i'm just trying to understand why it can't be done and why you are getting so upset by my asking. if she can give you a legitimate answer, maybe she is right -- but if she can't, then you can say it doesn't make sense - i still don't understand - PLEASE give me a reason. hope she'll understand where you are coming from. but don't do it with yelling -- it never accomplishes anything - accept more anger. try to remember, she is your mom - and, even with all the disagreeing, you love each other - so try to be kind to each other.

Answer 4

try to reason with her.tell her things she wants to hear.for instance tell her that it will look much better in the living room or in an office or even a den.tell her it could be like a studio for her when she needs time by herself.also try to see it in her point of view or sale some stuff that you and your mother agree to sale.

Answer 5

properly, i'm a liberal mom raised by two divorced truly conservative Republican (study: authoritarian) father and mother. So right that's what i imagine: you're literally not being allowed to make sure who you're. you want to be able to make alternatives, so that you develop into your human being human being. Your mom seems so reliable, yet truly she is the weakest member of your spouse and youngsters. She does no longer have the grace to be able to be incorrect, to compromise, or to enable her family contributors contributors exist as human beings cut loose her. Pity her. No, truly, pity her. enable me inform you a touch something. there have been prisoners of conflict subject to chinese torture. a number of this torture lined brainwashing, in which human beings were compelled to say the most horrid issues about united statesa.. One man made it out sane, and nevertheless very American. How did he mentally ruin out the brainwashing? He continually reminded himself that he became purely declaring the words for survival. He became purely declaring the words for survival. He became purely declaring the words for survival. He became mendacity, yet purely because he needed to. enable your mom be perfect, because she will't manage life any opposite direction. Remind your self that you're stuck, because of your age. comprehend your self. comprehend that you should have a minimum of a few say, and that you'll be able to do this with human beings, purely no longer such as her. practice compromising with others outdoors the abode, so that you nevertheless comprehend the thanks to have vanity. you could educate this on your dad. And if she ever sees this, pray. because she is purely too darned susceptible to face up to it. purely construct your self, silently. and performance it your human being way once you pays the charges. Stinks, yet carry close in there.

Answer 6

I fight with my mom sometimes but now she is my best friend. so it is normal to have fights but try to relax and understand your mother, try to be a friend and make her understand you in a soft way without fighting.
Trust me she is the best person in the world who love you and care about you!
I hope that i had help you! Contact me again to know if it works and best wishes of having a good life with your MOM.

Answer 7

i know exactly how you feel, before my mom died we used to fight all the time and i'd always joke the time we got along was just the calm before the storm, the thing is that it wasn't until almost the very end that i realized how much i loved her and i while i agree that our moms can make us want to scream our lung out, they're our mom's and we need them more than we think

Answer 8

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, for FREE

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/

Answer 9

tell somebody