I do not understand why, if you are/were that close, why not stay involved, and if you're not, what can they offer you that a number of other people can also offer, especially if your contact with them could/does run the risk of upsetting a new love?
2006-11-22 07:34:19 · 12 answers · asked by LuckyEddie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
because they are not sure of the future , they want to keep a door open in case they want to come back ..!!
2006-11-22 07:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by bobby s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maintaining a friendship after being involved intimately is next to impossible in my opinion. I've always tried to do it...kind of like a consolation prize for the runner up. But I've always found that it leads to trouble. Friendship usually is an attempt to leave the light on for the other person, if they would ever change their mind. After being in love with someone, maintaining a friendship prevents either party from completely moving on. It prevents closure. And you may be able to stay friends for a while, until a third party enters the equation. As soon as either party becomes involved with someone new, that's when it becomes difficult. It leads to jealousy and resentment and the friendship dissolves anyway.
A clean break is the best break.
2006-11-22 07:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥Mrs SSG B♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If being friends with two of my exes upsets a new love, then tough shi.t. I have two exes that I am friends with - we don't talk every day or anything like that, but I consider them both good friends of mine. As far as why not stay involved - I don't want to be involved with them in that way - we don't have that kind of chemistry, and I have no desire to have sex with them. Kind of tough to date someone you don't want to have sex with. What they can offer me is a friendship that is genuine - they've seen me at my worst, and they still have respect for me, value my opinion and advice, and enjoy talking to me. I enjoy being friends with them because they are guys that defy the stereotypes - they aren't liars, they don't cheat on girls (they've dated other people since me), they aren't sleazy, and we have things in common.
The people who don't understand this probably just have a hard time with platonic relationships with the opposite sex. I know there are a lot of guys and girls who are incapable of truly being only friends with the opposite sex. But not EVERYONE is like that. Not everyone is the same as you!
I'm starting to think huggi123 is the only other reasonable person who answered this question!
2006-11-22 07:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people keep ex lovers as friends because believe it or not the relationship did not end bad. They probably realized the love wasn't there anymore and just decided on being just friends.
2006-11-22 07:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by huggi123 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My thoughts exactly.
I don't get it either. Even with relationships that didn't end on a sour note, I don't want to see that person ever again. It's like reminding yourself of a failure.
I know some people do because even though they say they don't, they still have feelings and haven't given up a secret hope that one day they'll be with that person again. Sad.
2006-11-22 07:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by jirstan2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well...depends. i have a former booty call that i say hi to once in awhile. he's a smart business man that i admire. i have a non sexual fondness for business people that go out and create their own life. men and women alike. but i don't say anything more than happy holidays and happy birthday. i don't call him. i e-mail him. nothing more than a few words. i would never think to meet up with him for drinks or even call to shoot the breeze. it's just someone with whom i am not enemies with.
I don't send text messages or call him. i don't keep him informed of my daily comings and goings. he's not even important enough to tell him i'm married and pregnant. not to be rude, but informing everyone of this info is exhausting. i would never invite him to a holiday party or a family gathering. i wouldn't even think to ask my husband if it is okay.
and my husband can't say he has a problem with it since he has all his old girlfriends numbers in his cell and calls them once in awhile just as they call him. and he sends them text messages, and e-mails.
2006-11-22 07:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your ex always haft to be a failure of your love. Your ex being a friend is protection, because you know that one person still cares about you. I don't think it upsets a new love its just someone who you can turn to if things go wrong with your new love. Don't know if it was explained. ROCK ON!!
2006-11-22 07:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by celloman2007 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with pinkopal 2
2006-11-22 07:39:17 · answer #8 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some people just don't know when to let go and move on!
2006-11-22 07:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
AMEN! I agree completely. Either stay involved or move on........
2006-11-22 07:38:52 · answer #10 · answered by barhopper 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋