My husband wants to give my engagement ring to my friend Jessica, i'm kind of torn, what should I do?

Question

I love my friend Jessica so much and I want her to have a nice engagement ring but at the same time I wanted to one day be able to give my ring to my son when he grows up so he can give it to his bride to be. My husband says that since I have a wedding band now I don't need an engagement ring and that I would be selfish not to give it to him. He said he is not going to take it from me but he will be very disappointed in me if I don't give him the ring. I asked him if he could buy her a new one instead and he said that the Thanksgiving holidays are here and he will be spending a lot because relatives are here so he needs to save some money. I know I shouldn't be selfish and I really guess I should give my ring to my husband but would it be wrong of me to ask her for it back after the wedding? I mean I'm not trying to be selfish, I just would want it for my son for the future. Is this bad?

My husband wants to give her the ring because he really likes her.

Answer 1

Wait, I forget, was it Jessica or Angela who had the ham bone? Regardless, just be a good submissive and do whatever your husband tells you to do.

Answer 2

You are not being a bad wife! THE RING IS NOT HIS TO GIVE AWAY OR, TO DO ANYTHING WITH!
Why does your husband want to give something away to some other girl that he gave to you out of love? I am confused. Does he love this girl? Is he planning on asking her to marry him? What about the guy who, I assume, is going to ask her to marry him? I know that he would be incredibly upset. Why doesn't your man seem to care about the feelings of others?
Is your husband ENGAGED to Jessica? If not than he needs to back off. Her fiancee will get her an engagement ring. As a matter of fact, if I were Jessica's fiancee I would be both insulted and suspicious.

It is customary for the female, in America, to wear BOTH her engagement ring, which was a gift-meaning that it is not his, and the wedding ring or band.

I have answered several of your other questions and frankly, he treats you real bad and you are really "less-than-intelligent" for putting up with it. I have no clue as to why you do (put up with his treatment of you) and I can't think of the reason that your family has not stepped up in your defense. Why does he act like this? Is he from this country? Is he used to women's roles being different? Whatever the reason, you sound unhappy and I would either talk with him or pack your stuff, including your kid and leave. Do not tell him where you are going.

Y'know what? Every time I am on Yahoo Answers I check out your questions because I need to remind myself, sometimes, that life can be worse. You are in a horrible situation and you need something to change for you to be happy. Maybe, you used to be OK with this treatment but it is obvious that you no longer are. It will be up to you to change the situation.

I wish you luck!
By the way.. you write in very good English.

Answer 3

I wouldn't give my engagement ring to anyone - unless it was from a previous marriage, then I wouldn't care. I think it's unreasonable to ask a woman to give her engagement ring to someone else; in a practical sense, one doesn't need any rings at all - neither engagement nor wedding rings; but since when has an engagement been a "practical" affair? The sentimental value of such an item cannot be measured in practical terms. You are not being selfish in cherishing the symbol of your love.

And as far as your friend goes - if her fiancé can't afford a reasonably-priced ring, perhaps they should re-think the whole "getting married" idea. Supporting a family can get much more expensive than a single ring could ever cost.

Answer 4

So...your husband wants to use your engagement ring to propose to your friend Jessica? Are you all poligamists?

Whatever.

Your husband is in the wrong here. Even on the documentary I saw a month or two ago about a few people living in a poligamist-type relationship, the man bought a new set of rings for each of his two wives and his new fiance.

And anyway, she might not even like your ring. Has he considered that? It's not fair to you to give up your things for her. He gave it to you, and it is your ring now. If he had asked for it back before the wedding, ettiquitte says that you would have to, but now it's yours to do with as you wish. It is definately your right to save it for your son, and you should be disappointed in your husband for asking this of you.

Answer 5

What a terrible thing to do!! If he is your husband then the ring is yours and he shouldn't be trying to give another woman your ring...friend or not! If he is your ex-husband then the ring is technically his and you should give it back. This question is a little confusing all together, though. Why isn't your friend's fiance giving her a ring?? Why does it have to come from your husband??

Answer 6

I would be so mad at my husband if he put me in this position. Don't you dare let him bully you into giving up something you cherish and want to pass on to a child one day.

This is not selfish at all. He is asking you to give away a very personal item that was a celebration of your love for each other. I would be terribly offended.

No one needs a nice engagement ring it is a frivolous thing but nice to have. Your friend will not suffer having a simple ring that her fiance buys for her.

Answer 7

First and foremost: it is your ring and you should be able to keep it if you want to. You should not feel pressured to give it away.

Second: I still wear my engagement ring, I just waer it next to my wedding bad. It's a set and that is very common these days.

Third: Although it's a very generous offer and I'm sure your done will be appreciative I don't think he is going to want to give it to his future wife. I'm certain it's more common that women want their own wedding rings.

I hope you decide not to give your ring away so you can keep it and wear it. Good luck!

Answer 8

I think that you shouldn't, because he proposed to you with that ring. That ring is and was a symbol of his love to you and it was a promise ring that he will be with you forever. Giving the ring to borrow to Jessica for the wedding but not keeping it because it was yours, and you want to pass-on the ring to your son in the future. I dont think it would be wrong asking her for the ring back after the wedding because its yours and yopur husband gave it to because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Answer 9

certaily your friend would not expect you to surrender your engagement ring to her and certainly your husband should respect how you want to use your ring... it was a GIFT to you... In fact I am surprised that he is being so insistant about something so personal.

I think you should explain how you feel to your husband and that this is something you want to keep and start a tradition as a heirloom piece to pass on to future generations and how special the ring is to you as a symbol of his love and promise to you. but that ultimately it was a gift he gave to you so now it is yours to decide what happens to it.

As an aside... it is not mandatory to have an engagement ring when you get engaged... It is also entirely possible that your friend might have a family ring she can use and keep as her engagement ring... and that would be more special for her than using a ring from a friend... especially one who was pressured into giving hers away.... no one would want a ring under those circumstances.

Answer 10

To answer the question (even if it is fake): No don't give up your ring, it was a gift from your husband to you and no one else.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-NOTE*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
This person is a fake, read ITS other questions.

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Answer 11

Your engagement ring is YOURS. If you don't want to give it to your friend, you shouldn't have to. If you did want to, I'd wonder what was wrong with this picture. Why would your husband want you to give something so personal, that he picked out to symbolize his promise to you to love you and spend the rest of his life with you, to some other person? That is just too weird. If you want to give it to your son when he is older, so he can give it to the person he chooses to spend the rest of his life with, that is fine, but it should not leave the family.

If Jessica's fiance can't afford to buy her a ring, that is their problem. You should not give them something so personal as a gift under any circumstances.