not mine but my big sisters ,her daughter is out of control !!!! my sister and my brother in law were in a middle of a divorse , he was cheating ,controlling and cheap monitoring every penny she spent!! for some reason everyone was on his side!! she couldn't take it anymore so she went to get away she spent a few months with distant family leaving the kids behind ,during this time thier father spoiled them rotten with psp,'s150$ allowances , staying up late ,and all the junk food they wanted. when she came back her 15 year old wouldn't even talk to her ,when she tried to punish her , but her teen went crying to daddy and he bought her back what was taken away from the punishment .she does'nt listen and always whining about wanting to live with only her father and saying she Hates her mom. this has just began , she has been a sweet kid her whole life ,but her dad turned her into a monster.
what can we do to help her?
2006-11-22 07:19:08 · 12 answers · asked by babyphat luva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my sis was considering letting her stay wit her dad ,but he does'nt really care for the kids he works a lot and he tries to buy happiness,and my niece is stubborn and has alot a pride ,she would NEVER come back and admit she was wrong
2006-11-22 07:34:42 · update #1
When a child is fifteen, the court usually will not make her live with the parent she dosent want to. If you can, take the child to a therapist and hopefully they can testify that it would not be in the childs best interest to live with her father.
Depending on what state you live in, you may be able to prove that the father is purposely alienating the mother. If he is telling the child things that influence the childs opinion against the non-custodial parent, then you may be able to prove alienation. Again you will need a therapist to testify that they believe this is going on.
The state I live in (New York) recognizes parental alienation as situation that can be grounds for the reversal of a childs living situation. In most cases, if it is found that this brain washing has taken place, the child will be ordered to live with the non-custodial parent (without visitation of the other parent) until the the effects of the alienation have been reversed.
Your sister should talk to her lawyer, and also the childrens legal guardian if they have been appointed one. Bring up the possibilty of alienation and or any abuse caused to her or the children during the marriage.
If the child will not go on her own the judge for her divorce may be able to order the child to go.
Good luck.
2006-11-22 07:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by frenchie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. She apparently has been poisoned against her mother. The Mom has to take her share of the responsibility for leaving her children like she did. No matter how bad things got she should have stayed with them and been there to support them through it all. I suggest your sister back off and let the daughter go stay with her father like she wants too. As she gets older the animosity will get worse and it will be a no win situation. A mothers patience and unconditional love is a mighty powerful thing. She shouldn't force the relationship but instead be as supportive as she can and show the daughter that she will be there for her and won't up and run off again when things get rough. Personally, I've been through it all and as a parent I survived and I know what I am talking about. Time, love, and patience.
2006-11-22 07:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think mom should let the girl stay with her father. Divorce is hard on everyone. Emotions are flying and everyone is feeling the instablility. She should let her daughter go with her father. She may want to come back when she realizes that its not what its cracked up to be. OR she may like it there. Whatever decision she makes, its good that it is her decision. She is not a baby anymore. If she chooses to come back, her mom should let her. forgive her and give her some ground rules. That way daughter knows that she made this choice. Mom could probably use a break too. I advice your sister to try to forgive her ex and find peace. She will not be happy until she makes peace for the kid's sake.
Good Luck.
2006-11-22 07:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by cutencurley_05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing
Just tell you sister to pray she did a good job raising her. and let her go.
She is angry her mother left her, and confused. All normal.
As far as spoiling he does this outof guilt. And he is embarrassed that he's done all this crap and is trying to cover it up.
Tell her to let her daughter go and she will see he for what he really is- Her Father, and she loves him, there is nothing wrong with that.
And as far as your sister goes, she stayed with him for 15 years and was perfectly happy with him or even unhappy with him until he cheated,
I would even bet he appologized to your sister. said he still wants to make a go of it.?
I would bet he told the kids, its mommy who is ruining our family,
or I love you guys thats why i have put up with mommy.
Stuff like that.
She should have left earlier , so its just too late now. and if your sister plays her cards right she can win her childrens heart back, but it can't be forced, however, letting go does NOT mean giving up
She needs to let her daughter go and keep close contact leaving her messages everyday both at home and on the cell phone.
emails ect..
But NO money and NO big gifts.
her daughter has to see her mom isn't gonna quit on her tooo, but will give her space.
And Mom She is a teenager and in 2 little years she is out of highschool, so its just started a bit early for you. remember don't judge your daughter and don't talk crap about DAD , your job is to be a mother, her job is to be the child, but unfortunately after 15 years of exposure your husbands ways have rubbed off on Her , but hopefully yours did too.
Good luck and don't give up, Give Love.
2006-11-22 07:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen, the best thing your sister can do is let her daughter live with her dad, the child will eventually come around, the age she is, if her mom tries to force the issue it will make the child rebel even more, probally run away, she will need her mom sooner or later, plus what better way for her to find out what kind of person her dad really is, just let her go, she will come back
2006-11-22 08:07:46 · answer #5 · answered by dravynsmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's defending you it hints he is a good guy and would not hesitate to protect you in certain situations. He likes you. You like him. If he is waiting for you, then you walk up and sit next to him and start talking about whatever; what you guys did over the weekend, what you have planned, anything. Then go from there.
2016-05-22 17:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing you can do with an out of control teen is talk to them and if they don't listen just give them their space. eventually they will reallize the wrong doing and come back
2006-11-22 07:22:58 · answer #7 · answered by andyramvzb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O wow she sounds like a brat. Theres not really much you can do. It's her choice but make her realize how horrible she is acting. It sounds horrible but I would treat her the way she is treating her mother. No body should act like that. You should or her mother should act the same way towards her like she does towards you/mother.
2006-11-23 04:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by ~*mwah*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the kid live with her father. She'll realize in time what a idiot he is.
2006-11-22 07:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to court and get full custody.
you can use this to gain custody
2006-11-22 07:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋