How do I deal with my fiancee's psycho ex-girlfriend?

Question

My fiancee has an ex-girlfriend that he broke up with exactly a year ago, and till this day wont leave him alone.My fiancee and I were best friends before falling into the dating scene.She would stalk him,show up at his house un-announced,drive by his home at wee hours of the night,go thru his information,and call all his friends (including me past february).He has changed his phone number 4 times, changed jobs,she still doesn't leave him alone.This past september she came to his house,broke into his truck that was park in his driveway,took the garage opener,opened the garaged,and keyed all 4 of his cars,his motorcycle,not to mention my car. And she tried to spell "b-i-t-c-*"but keyed it wrong.The police wont do nething about it b/c we did not physically see her do it.He filed a restrainging order,she countered with one.Then last night we found out she broke into his email and tried send a letter to me from his email saying "leave me, I dont want to be with u,your a hoar..etc." HELP!

By the way we have a camera system already installed at our home, a security system, I have mase, and my fiancee baught a gun. And she still harasses us!

Answer 1

I had to deal with a chick like this but not as bad. There really isn't anything you can do. Just hope that one day you or your fiancee FINALLY catch her in the act. Which I'm sure you will. You could kick her a$$ but that will only make you look bad and get YOU into trouble and not HER. She is doing this to break the two of you. Just hang it there and show her this isn't going to break the two of you up. If you feel that your life is in danger however then you should tell the cops this and file a restraining order YOURSELF. She's a nutcase. I wouldn't get physical with the girl even if you think you can beat her she could do something crazy to you. I hope things work out Sweetie! Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Wow. This actually sounds like a really dangerous situation.

First of all, you need a better home security system. If you live in a gated community, let management know what is going on, and who not to let on the premises. If not, your garage door should only open to a code, not a remote garage door opener. Get in touch with a professional security company (Brinks, ADT ect...) and have a representative come out to the house. They can show you the weak points in your home and tell you how to make yourself safer. This is NOT something you want to go all cheap on, so save up.

Change the phone number to an unlisted number, and only give it out to trusted individuals. If someone else wants your number (an old friend from college runs into your Mom or something) the trusted individuals should be instructed to take the querants phone number and let you make the decision about calling. Do not leave your cell phone, PDA, or dayplanner laying about. Lock them in your desk if at work, and keep the key on you. Also change all of your passwords...email, bank cards EVERYTHING. Don't make it something obvious. I know that sounds like "Duh!" but you'd be shocked at how many people are like, "I can't believe they cracked my code! Who else would think of using their dog's name?!" Everyone, thats who.

The police are going to need proof that she is causing all of these problems. I believe you can request a listing of the numbers that have called you from your phone company. And as part of your new security system you should invest in motion sensitive lights and cameras placed in stratigic locations around your house (again your security agent should be able to help you).

Speak to your neigbors and explain whats going on to them. They'll be much more alert as to who's in the neigborhood if they know whats going on...at least one of them probably SAW her walk into or out of your garage but didn't think anything of it...

Most importantly be alert. She's clearly proven that she's unbalanced...I'm not saying to buy a gun or anything, but take a quick self defense course down at the Y...carry some mace on your keys. Have a co-worker (preferrably male) walk you to your car, make sure you get in it and watch you drive away. Be careful and stay safe.

Answer 3

How does she have the capability to get into his information, or into his email? Can't security measures be put in place? Change his email. How does she get his phone number? Get an unlisted number. I'd post security cameras around the house, etc., so you can tape her driving by -- this is called stalking and there are laws against it, but you've got to get it on tape, or get eye witnesses willing to testify to what they saw. Depending on how much money you have, you might want to hire an investigator to follow her to document her stalking activities.

Answer 4

Security lights and camera- guard dog= hire a private detective to catch her being illegal - and how on earth did she get into his email??? hacker genious?? So= a double restraining order wouldn't hurt- can you press charges for hacking into email- I am sure there is a way to trace that= how does she find his new ph number and job - unless someone tells him?? He wouldn't be seeing her on the side would he?? SOunds like she is part of his troubles that follows him around- and you-D

Answer 5

Put up security cameras around your house. Even if they don't have film in them they can still scare her away. But I would recomend putting film into the cameras because then if she does something stupid, or against the law, you have evidence. And then can go to the police and get a restraining order.

Answer 6

I like what the first girl said, but he has to come out and tell her, in front of u, over the phone(this psychob**** might stab u both!) that he doesn't love or care about her AT ALL, and her loving as well as her personality isn't about anything. She goes all crazy n s***, thats why he left her in the first place. He hates her guts and hopes that she's buried soon cause shes like a roach- an unwanted pest.

Answer 7

This chick is crazy! Here's a suggestion hire an attorney and sue her for harassment. Better than that hire a private investigator, their not too expensive, to follow her and take pictures of her stalking you. I have seen this on real TV and it works it could put her in jail for harassment.

Answer 8

He needs to take care of it by meeting with her and telling her as blunt as possible that he doesn't want her and thinks she is ugly because of the things she is doing. If that doesn't work, file a police complaint and then kick her @ss yourself. Tell the police she attacked you and since there is an existing complaint, they will believe you.

Answer 9

Install video cameras in places such as his garage, places that she has visited before. Once you get it on camera then take those to the police.

Answer 10

Keep reporting it. Every time you report it she is mentioned in a police file which is seen every time the police check into her. When possible have other witnesses report it so your name isn't always mentioned with hers. Have her charged with BOTH restraining her's also prevents her from approaching him so she violated both.