My ex boyfriend cheated on me numerous times with one person. I left him. 2 months later he is trying to get back with me saying how he wants "us" to work out. He came out and was honest with me about everything and allowed me to ask questions without him getting upset. However, there is allot of damage now. I told him it would take allot of time to get my trust back with him. I dont know how long exactly but I told him I dont want to be in a relationship with him until Im sure I can trust him. But Im worried that while Im trying to search myself, he is still out doing his thing until I decide to "officially" get back together with him. Wondering this is hurting getting back with him. He tells me he'll wait, but we've tried this before and he's met someone else and was intimate with them. I love him but how do I know if he's changed?
2006-11-22 06:37:47 · 22 answers · asked by TORN BY MY HEART!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
LEOPARDS DON'T CHANGE THEIR SPOTS!!!
2006-11-22 06:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by Kimber 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's gonna be hard but I think you need to move on before you get scared and think every relationship from here on out will result in the guy cheating. I was married... he cheated with 3 different girls and each time he swore he'd never do it again. Well I finally left him when I caught him going after what was going to be #4. Fours years went by and he wanted to work things out... was together 1 month and he was at it again...lol. You never fully trust again and they are rarely ever faithful again.
2006-11-22 06:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by rayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get over it! And why should you. Don't you feel a real relationship shoul be with soemone you feel secure with and that you can trust. I think you should tell him that you don't want the relationship anymore and move onto find someone else. How do you know he doesn't just want you back because he can't be with the girl he cheated on you with? Does that make you feel very special now.
2006-11-22 06:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry, but i do not think you can ever get that trust back. i had almost the same thing happen to me. I statred dating this guy things were great then he cheated on me. I ended right there. A few weeks later he said he loved me adn missed me, so i took him back. i found out on Christmas that he was cheating again, but this time with my best friend. i don't think trust can be earned back after someone cheats because it will always linger and be there weighting you down and you will always ownder if he's cheating when he says he's going out.
2006-11-22 06:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by Chrystal S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust can be restored after cheating. It's all about your wilingness to forgive and his willingness to change his ways.
I do'nt know how old you are but sometimes men feel the need to "sow their oats" because they assume by being with one person they are losing out on something.
The fact that he was up front with you shows that he is sincere about his willingness to change. Now you just have to learn how to forgive him.
I suggest that if you really love him and he seems sincere about wanting to be with you, you should give him a second chance. Do not just jump back into the relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend, but just be friends and hang out, then see how it goes from there.
2006-11-22 06:50:39 · answer #5 · answered by rain_stars_clouds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust can be restored and your right it does take time but you cant get mad at him for doing his "thing" his a man and hes singel hes going to do what ever he wants if you want to be with him you need to work on your trust issues together not apart becuase that will drive your trust far far away due to you always wondering what he is doing when your not there
2006-11-22 06:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lab Runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move on if he truly cared and truly loved you then he would never have cheated. The one thing i find so funny is when people cheat and say they love the person they cheated on. How can you love them when you just stomped on them. Your setting your self up for more upset and saying it is OK on what he did. Tell him you can't do it cause you can't trust him anymore and her should of thought of what would happen before he cheated.
2006-11-22 06:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that once trust has been destroyed, that he can ever be found again. It will always haunt you what he did, and be in the back of your mind, you will always wonder if it will happen and it will always be in the back of your mind, Do not marry him move on with your life and find someone you can trust, once a cheater always a cheater
2006-11-22 06:43:53 · answer #8 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of people making it work but I don't think anybody ever gets over it, it's always it the back of your mind. I speak from experience of course and I have been married 17 years. My suggestion to you is if your not married to him , then move on it's better to get over him now rather than go through a divorce and battles over custody for children.
2006-11-22 06:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by SHEILA N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because this was not a one time thing, I tend to believe this leopard will not change his spots. Cut your loses and see this man for what he is and cut your loses. It hurts but the hurt will end if you take himm back I think the hurt will continue. Good Luck
2006-11-22 06:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by buffybot67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your heart. I just recently started going out with my ex who cheated on me when I was in the HOSPITAL! But he promised he would'nt do it again and I believe him. But it really depends if YOU believe your man. I hope I helped! Good Luck from a girl who's also had her heart broken!
2006-11-22 06:43:48 · answer #11 · answered by Ms. New Cutie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋