I met this girl 9 months ago and at first at least for the first few months everything was great. She seems to have a very fragile heart. She is so good to me and always tells me she loves me, but I don't feel quite that deeply for her. I care about her, but at the sametime I know this relationship isn't going anywhere. How do I tell her without hurting her or ruining her for someone else?
2006-11-22 06:26:29 · 37 answers · asked by Johnny bravo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just say, "I'm sorry iI just realised that you are too stupid and ugly for me"
2006-11-22 06:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
I am sorry to tell you, but if she has a fragile heart there is no way of not hurting it. Honestly even if she didn't have a fragile heart it would be hard not to hurt it. You just have to be honest to yourself and to her. Just tell her that you care aobut her, but you don't care aobut her in the same way as she cares about you and that unfortunatly you do not see your relationship with her going anywhere. (if she recently for the first time said she loved you then she's going to feel she scared you away and will try to take it back and you have to be strong.) She will get over it in time, but for sometime she will be "sore' towards you. Just let her have her space after the break up or she will think that there is still hope. Don't lead her on.
2006-11-22 06:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by Chrystal S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can't Be Done!!!!
Marry her, but have someone on the side is the only solution.
But you should grab your stones and just tell her that you have changed and you don't want to be with her anymore, you are not ready for commitment and want to see other people. It will hurt her, but you won't give her any reason to think ill of herself and carry baggage. The important part is to keep it short and sweet, the more you talk about it when you dump her, the more ammo she will use to make you look like a jerk.
' Listen, you are an awesome girl and I care about you very much, but I can't be in this relationship. Something is missing for me and I need to find out what it is. I can't stick around and risk hurting you more down the road. I really don't know who I am sometimes or what I want, and I need to find it'
That should do it.
But keep it short dude, no matter how long you have been together. She is going to be asking Why Why Why, but stay strong and don't drag it out. The more you talk about it, the more crap she is going to chew on and go crazy about. She will destroy your efforts to comfort her and turn them into attacks.
Trust me!
2006-11-22 06:35:16 · answer #3 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want to break off a relationship that is not going anywhere the best thing to do is tell her in a polite manner that you wish to end the relationship and why. and let her you just feel that is coming to dead end. She may be hurt at first but she will eventually find someone that she might have more in common with. I know it sounds hard but if you stay in the relationship you are only making it worse so the sooner you break it off with is girl the better off you will be and the sooner you can move on and find the one person that will make you happiest.
2006-11-22 06:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are no easy answers to this. And in my opinion when someone really loves you she'll be broken no matter how you say it to her. But I'm pretty sure she will survive it in the end even if at first she's hurt. Actually it's better to be straight-forward and tell her all the things in your mind. Truth is not always easy to accept, but it's always sth to appreciate in the end. Also you may try telling her that you feel you wouldn't be tru to her if you went on with this relationship, but you care about her and want her to be well, but she's worth someone who will love her more trully that you (little sentences of self-criticism often have good results on us). And one last thing. If you are sure you don't really love her and tell her this, don't return to her even if she's broken and you can't stand to see her like this. It may make her happy for a while but next time things will be even more difficult for both.
Good Luck!!!!
2006-11-22 06:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by speedy eleni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to end a relationship without causing the person you are breaking up with emotional pain or suffering if you know they love you or have feelings for you. You took the risk when you started this relationship that things might not work out well, and you have the responsibilty to be honest with her and not play with her emotions, even if you have the best intentions for her. You have to be honest with her, completely honest, and explain why you don't want to continue your relationship. But do not ask to still be friends or that it isn't her it is you, because a relationship is a two way street, and you know just as well as she does it'll be hard as heck to continue a relationship like nothing happened after you tell her this.
2006-11-22 06:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its too late.
If she is good to you, loves you, and you don't feel the same. You should have been telling her right along what you were and weren't feeling. Did you just want sex? Tell her instead of or in addition to writing it here. People are fragile, if you are sure it isn't going "anywhere", you owe it to her and you to end it. Maybe if you hurt her you owe her something too. Maybe a date with a friend for the rest of your lives or something like that. It might help your guilt too.
2006-11-22 06:31:50 · answer #7 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are an awesome guy for wanting to be so kind, and gentle with a fragile heat. That's so respectful. No mater how fragile her heart is and no mater how gentle you are it is going to hurt!!!....... no doubt!!! Speak sweet and softy with tender words from your heart. Both sides of this kind of situation is never easy. I wish I cold tell you more but you sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders and an awesome heart. I think you will handle it just fine. Best to you.
2006-11-22 06:48:32 · answer #8 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do she will have a broken heart. There is no easy way to break up. It will take time but she will learn to move on and find the right person for her. Just sit her down and explain to her that you enjoy her company but your just not ready for a long term commitment and that she deserves someone that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Try to take all the blame yourself and maybe that will soften the blow. But do it now before Christmas so she doesn't feel like she's wasted money on a present.
2006-11-22 06:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by party_pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woaw woaw, first thing is: don't try to be nice. Nice breakups are the worst, because it's very difficult to get over it without hating the guy at first. So don't be mean of course, but be strong, very clear and straightforward, kind of "I think this isn't going anywhere. I want to stop." Don't hold her, or tell her you 'll be there for her, stuff like that, and leave rigth after. She needs something to be angry about to forget it.
Oh, and 5 weeks with zero communication...
2006-11-22 06:32:37 · answer #10 · answered by Ysaline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is you can't break up with a girl and not hurt her. If you don't feel right in the relationship you do need to get out of it before she goes head over heels for you and when you do break up with her it would hurt her worse.Just think about how you would want someone to break up with you and then whatever that is, that's the way you do it to her.
2006-11-22 06:35:05 · answer #11 · answered by *be_23* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋