Engagement Ring Problem w/ The Boy?

Question

Hi, I have a problem with my boyfriend to ask you all about. Recently he asked me what kind of engagement ring I wanted, (we've been dating for several years now). Well, I've always wanted a ruby engagement ring. I love victorian novels and am in love with the romance and wonderful sentiment behind a ruby for an engagement ring. It was considered a true stone of passion! I have wanted a ruby since I was a little gril.
Well I mentioned this during our engagement conversation, and he got angry with me saying that was "so ghetto" and that only a diamond was appropriate for and engagement ring. I told him I thought a ruby was a unique sentiment, to which he asked why I was always so "low class" and stalked away disgusted at me.

Do you think a ruby would make a fitting engagement ring, or was I out of line?

Thanks for your help!!

Answer 1

Having a different stone than a diamond is NOT "ghetto". Even princess Diana had a Sapphire (surrounded by small diamonds). Many celebs have stones other than diamonds...many that do have diamonds have them in any color BUT the traditional clear or "white" as it's referred to. The pink and yellow diamonds are very popular now.
The bottom line is...he asked YOU...you told him what you'd like. If he was out to please you and only you?..then why not a ruby? My friend was married last year - she too wanted a ruby. He wasn't down with that either - but he got her one. Granted the ruby was flanked by two big diamonds..lol..and it was stunning..but he got her a ruby.
Do you think maybe he might have already got you a diamond?...and he was just hurt or disappointed? Would not totally excuse his poor behavior ...but just a thought.

Answer 2

Like many others, your boyfriend has bought into the great diamond conspiracy.

The creation of the idea that diamonds are rare and valuable is a man-made invention. Diamond production in the world is so high that if left uncontrolled, will relegate diamond to "semi-precious" status. Prices are kept artificially high through tight supply chain management. A limited number is released regularly to a select few distributors who in turn re-sell it down the supply chain.

The perception that they are rare & precious is perpetuated by heavy advertising and marketing. Billions of dollars are spent to keep demand high. For example, the idea that an engagement ring should be a diamond ring is the result of a phenomenally successful marketing campaign first launched in 1967 by De Beers using J Walter Thompson. In truth, ANY gemstone can grace an engagement ring. The same is true for the "Diamonds are forever" & Right-hand ring campaigns. All billion dollar marketing blitzes to pump up and sustain gobal demand.

(If you are interested in finding out more about this, read Edward J Epstein's book "The Diamond Invention" http://edwardjayepstein.com/diamond/prologue.htm )

Your boyfriend might also like to know that fine Rubies are many times rarer than diamonds, and by far the MOST EXPENSIVE gemstone in the world. Therefore, not only does it make a fitting gemstone for an engagement ring, it is even more appropriate for an engagement ring. (Especially since YOU love Ruby).

Hope that illuminates and Good luck!

Answer 3

WOW! What kind of guy would run away from saving thousands? I dont think you are out of line maybe of out of norm but you get to wear it not him! If you want to keep the peace though and make sure you are both happy with what he decides, I have an idea. Try getting a diamond for the center stone and have the accent stones be ruby. This way you will both be happy and it will be very pretty. I have to say I can understand where he is coming from though, because whether we like it or not the ring we wear on our finger is a sign of the man we have. Maybe he doesnt want people to think he cheaped out or that you weren't worth a diamond. You guys should talk some more and explain why it is so important to the both of you. Good Luck and Congrats!!

Answer 4

What a jerk! I don't know why you are even asking, why you are even still interested in getting that ring!

Diamonds are currently the most popular choice of stone, but they are hardly the only appropriate one. Actually, diamonds have only been used for engagement rings since they became popular in the victoria era. Other stones are more commonly used in other cultures, and they have traditional meaning that are associated with them. I can't remember what any of those meaning are right now, though.

I think a ruby would be wonderful. Unique and special. When my boyfriend and I were talking about this, I told him I wanted an emerald. I think the only 'ghetto' or 'low class' thing would be for you to sport an enourmous shiny plastic or CZ stone.

Answer 5

I think any stone at all would make a great engagement ring. Your b/f sounds like a snob, and he's completely wrong, to boot (no one in the ghetto could afford a ruby!)

I have a blue topaz engagement ring; this is my favorite stone, so when my fiancé and I went shopping for a ring this was the one I picked. It's a beautiful blue color, and I love looking at it. I don't like diamonds, I find them kinda boring. I'm really into unique stuff, as you might be, it sounds like. I would be very perturbed if my husband didn't appreciate my uniqueness; but he does.

Answer 6

An engagement ring doesn't have to be a diamond...a lot of actors and actresses are getting and giving canary diamonds (a real one will be a slight yellow color and costs upwards of 30k per carat)...a new things is giving blue diamonds, similar to the hope diamond, but smaller...those are a sapphire color and can run upwards of 40k per carat.

The ring is what you want it to be and what it means to you...if a ruby is what you want, then a ruby is what you should get. If your man disagrees, then take that into consideration when thinking about your future together...it might not only be a ring that he will fight you about.

Answer 7

If you want a ruby to be your engagement and he wants to get you a diamond, pick out a ring that has both. Then you have the best if both worlds. Or get a ruby for your engagement ring and then a wedding band with diamonds on it.

Answer 8

Instead of judging your relationship when you certainly didn't ask me to, like everyone else on this thread -- I am going to address the actual question here.

An engagement ring is meant to be personal, and its something you are going to wear for the rest of your life. I personally wanted a pink sapphire in my engagement ring, and I absolutely adore it. I think if you love the idea of a ruby, and its personal to you, you absolutely should have one -- it is not low class. Diamond are the typical engagement ring, yes. However, typical is also cliche and very stanardized, and something as personal as engagement itself should be treated as so. Tell your boyfriend how you feel about the ruby and how you want the ring to be specific to him and you, not everyone else.

Answer 9

There is no rule that says an engagement ring has to be a diamond. My friend has a ring that has an emerald as the main stone and diamonds on the side. Maybe you could do something like that. It would please both of you! Diamonds for him and a ruby for you!! Good Luck!

Answer 10

Why would the man that just ask you to marry him say that you were "low class"??Does he think that about you?If he ask you what ring you would like and you told him a ruby,then insulted you....He could go to h*** as far as I was concerned.Does he get away with putting you down a lot??I think he just ask you for a reason to not get you one.He's done it once---it will continue.Tell him that Wal-mart will always have a sale on for the traditional sets.......