We've been together for 9 months now and it's been a roller coaster but i know i love him and he the same for me. The only problem is I am bipolar, and it's not an excuse but for anyone who has ever dealt with an illness of this nature knows how hard it is for families, friends, and lovers, to be involved with a bipolar person. I know there are a million of times when i pick fights with him just to get a reaction, or just becuase my mood has switched from happy go lucky to angry for no apparent reason. He doesn't get it and I feel like there is only so much I can do to educate him about it. He wants to be there but when he is and he says something stupid to me bcus he doesn't get it i become so angry and unforgiving, i push him away and feel lonely bcus i don't think anyone gets me and since i think he's the one i was hoping he would. I told him he is better off staying away from me bcus I don't know how soon I could change and I'm hurting him in the meantime. Now I'm full of regret.
2006-11-22 04:48:54 · 9 answers · asked by LoveLeighe 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was on meds when we met, I've been on and off of medication since then. I am also currently not seeing a therapist, but have made an appoint to find a good one. He's not very open to my emotions, I think for the most part he's afraid of them, when i get emotional he often says a couple comforting things and then backs off, I think he'd be weirded out about going with me to my doctor.
2006-11-22 05:16:06 · update #1
From the first day of our relationship I told him look i am bipolar , this is what it is, this is what i'll do , somedays it'll be amazing and others will be hell and he told me he wasn't scared of it. But it's kinda like he forgets everytime we start to argue, and I know its really hard for people to tell the difference between whats really me and what my illness but it's almost like he didn't absorb any of it. I did sit down with him and I explained to him that I do these things this way and I can't excuse them but because I am like this right now I think you would be better off finding someone more stable bcus I don't want to hurt you anymore. he pleaded with me not to go and I say I was conflicted and couldn't decide but I did it because I love him enough to let him go.
2006-11-22 05:22:50 · update #2
Your having a moment rite now.....
Hold on to this one, he loves you and wont bail on you, so extend him the same courtosy.
2006-11-22 04:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by Low 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I'm a therapist and I think you'd find that the relationship problems will go away if you take medication or find the right ones if you're already taking some. You can't fight Bipolar on your own and it's okay that you need a little help. I am not Bipolar but I have chronic depression. If I am not on my antidepressant daily then I find that I sabatoge my relationships in the same way you describe. It's not your fault. It's like trying to "will" yourself out of cancer... you can't do it alone. Bipolar is a disease and it's okay that you need some help. Counseling can help you repair any damage done to your relationship and it can also help you get rid of the shame you feel with this problem. Hope that helps.
2006-11-22 12:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by LM S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are who you are, doesn't mean you are always in the wrong. Don't let anybody brain wash you into thinking that everything you say or do is wrong. Keep taking your medication, I hear it sometimes takes a while to find the right medication for bi-polars and can be very frustrating and a long process, but keep trying! Good luck!
2006-11-22 12:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by Brenda M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont u and him talk it out? Dont push him away and Dont tell him those things becuz he loves u and hes tryin to understand the best he can but if u dont talk to him and tell him whats wrong then he cannt help u and thats what will hurt u and him the most.The reason hes actin stupid is becuz hes try to make u happy and make u feel good about ur self. Thats how guys r they want the best for thier girls.They want us to be happy. Think about!
2006-11-22 12:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you need to sit him down for a talk and explain it to him. If he doesn't get it afterwards then you should probably dump him. It's probably better if you let him move on. You do love him do you? If you do then dump him, it's going to better for him. If he doesn't get ti then it'll just end up hurting both of you. After you break up with him try to find a guy who understands about this problem and go from there.
2006-11-22 12:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by talk_to_the_hand!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you see a therapist? If you do, take your boyfriend with you. maybe it will help you both understand more about it. There should be support groups out there too. Any psychiatrist worth their salt should be able to locate them for you. Are you on meds for this?
2006-11-22 12:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by melkhel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change is needed. something has to be done. you can't go on like this or it'll smother itself out. talk to him about it. tell him that you're trying to change. remember, no one is perfect. you nor him. tell him you want things to work out. best thing for you to do on your side is to change your habits. tell yourself in third person to not to be so snappy. constantly put yourself in check. it'll help with the bipolar stuff. good luck.
2006-11-22 12:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by phantasmo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't put him to sit down and tell him what it is like and what to expect how will he understand. try to work things out because he really love you. you know that you have that kind of sickness and he is still with you and so long. try and work things out.
2006-11-22 13:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by Melody M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he loves you he will stay with you and if during your fights he says something it's cuz he understands that you want a reaction. and if you still don't think he understands then talk to him about how it goes and if he loves you like you love him then he'll try to keep undrestanding
2006-11-22 12:54:54 · answer #9 · answered by Shortie<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋