how do i tell my sister she's not allowed in my house??

Question

my sister is moving in with my parents in a week and will be living in the same town as me....my husband has said that she will not be allowed in our house (not that i can't hang out with her, she just can't come here)....my sister is manic depressive and an alcoholic/drug addict...her behavior can be very wild and upsetting.....for example: the last time she was in town (nearly a year ago), her and my cousin were visiting for the weekend and my sister freaked out and starting yelling at my cousin and calling her a b*tch (for no reason, it was completely irrational), and as we were driving to my parent's house (it was like 2:00 a.m. and my hubby was driving) she jumped out of the moving car and refused to get back in...then tried to hitchhike with a car full of drunk men
i can totally understand why my husband doesn't want to be around her and doesn't want her in our house......but how do i tell her she's not allowed over without hurting her feelings or straining our relationship???

we all know that she needs help, but you can't force some-one to get help....they will seek it when and if they ever become ready, and she is just not there

Answer 1

You just have to be honest with her. Is she not on medication or seeing a therapist? Let her know that you love her but you have to take care of your life. You are both adults and if she chooses to not seek help and to live her life like she does that is her decision just as your decision is to not allow it to disrupt yours. Talk to your parents about this maybe together you can get her the help she needs. Will pray for you and your family. Sounds like a rough ride. Good luck.

Answer 2

I can see the problem, but, I also understand your husband. Go see your sister at your mothers. If anything gets brought up about her staying with you or coming to your house, just say I'm sorry but after the last time it just isnt going to happen again. If your family life with your hubby is good , then you dont need to go borrowing your sisters problems. Its upsetting your life your husbands life and your home.
You can see her anywhere and at least he has not said you could not see her at all. As for hurting her feelings, apparently she has chosen the life she wants, there no way but straight out to tell her why she is not welcome in your home. If she does not then I suggest you explain it to your mother, who I'm sure is well aware of what you are talking about.

Answer 3

something ought to take place quickly, because of the fact if a guy or woman with sufficient guts realizes the squalor your sister's teenagers stay in, they're sure to call youngsters centers to get them to scrub it up. Your nieces and nephews are going to have the comparable grimy conduct, i've got considered this take place. it is so unhappy. have you ever considered the instruct 'hoarders' on A&E?? it rather is style of an unusual psychological technique. it rather is extreme procrastination, there is something incorrect in her strategies this is making her no longer see what she is doing, it may desire to be extreme low self-nicely worth, or it may desire to be some way of controlling her ecosystem. in basic terms a therapist talking inclusive of your sister could desire to make certain the whys. i think undesirable for you and her toddlers, it rather is annoying to sit down down via and watch crap like this take place. it rather is referred to as forget. Your ultimate direction of action may be to get the balls up your self and voice calmly and strongly what's misguided with the image, and the possible consequences. She could freak out, yet she would have the capacity to no longer substitute except she realizes there's a issue. and how can she comprehend if no person says something?? Pretending it rather is nice is permitting her. good success.

Answer 4

There isn't a really good way yo your sister this!!!!i think you should talk to her and share your feelings about her craziness!!!tell her how her husband feel,but make sure to tell her that you love her and that no matter what you will be there for her!!!and that you don't want to hurt her feelings and that you want your relationship to stay the same(MAKE SURE TO TELL HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT HER AND LOVE)

good luck
i hope everything turns out okay!!!!

Answer 5

sounds like a family intervention might be in order. IF you dont want to get that involved; you need to explain to her that you and your husband are uncomfortable with her addictions and subsequent problems that stem from it and that you would appreciate her respecting your household and not coming over. If worse comes to worse there are restraining orders but I suggest that your family try to help her before it is too late. Suggest counseling, rehab etc.

Answer 6

Do you have kids? Do you have a happy marriage? Is your life the way you want it to be? Is your sister able or getting help for this? Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions, then be prepared for your life as you know it to change.

Answer 7

Unfortunately there is no other way to do it without hurting her feelings. It's something that has to be done whether she likes it or not. She needs to find out for herself that there is something wrong with her and she must be willing to get help. Good luck.

Answer 8

dont even bring it up make up other suggestions and if you want to see her go visit her at your moms. why dont u try talking to her or getting her help with the drugs? that is what is really straining your relationship

Answer 9

If she accepts and realises her condition, she will understand if you have an honest talk with her about it. You can tell her if she improves health wise, your husband might reconsider. Just an idea.

Answer 10

You just tell her. It is not your fault she has chosen a disfunctional lifestyle.